Halloween update and new goals!

Dear October,

I have concluded that I am all I want to become, and I love myself for my genius, laziness, creativity, tiger-like personality, sensibility, all of it!

So true love, I hope that I have felt it 🙂

I have a positive answer for my novel from a small but good publishing house 🙂 but they ask me to contribute financially to the publication and right now, it seems too much. The solution I found, is to have it accepted by a bigger publishing house. I sent it and we will see …

There is another answer I wait for, related to an artistic project’s funding; the answer should also come in November.

And after all, I have started working on a new artistic project that is close to my heart. And through that, I look for funding.

I have been in love during this period, but their seemed to be some conditions that blocked a happy ending… was it me? Maybe … But now I feel more ready for a complementary to me person. Someone I can share my dreams with and feel good effortlessly…

This is my goal for New Year’s Eve: be with the love of my life, and celebrate abundance, life and love!


October 28- Inspiration

Hello October,

yes, I try to put some objectives for the next three months. This is why I have been re-reading my older posts, to better understand the path I have made.

The result, in one phrase:



September 30- Monthly Update

And the update of September, where follow my heart’s desire and insisting on my writing becomes important. Specific goals still are, but they have become the background 🙂

april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation

Dear September,

instead of goodby, I would like to summarize some important thoughts you have inspired to me!

a. I am living on a beautiful planet, member of a galaxy, that belongs to the universe

a. I need to follow my heart’s desire in order to be on the right orbit: writing to begin with and creating dreams that can become reality for me and others

c. I need the right environment to flourish; find the people for me, the context, the love, … in a way that they make me grow; those who don’t can simply fade away, they are not part of my story

d. I am a Tiger -among other things- capable to roar, but I also like to play and get some rest as a big cat.

Thank you September,

à bientôt 😉



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June 30- Transformation Journal Update

The first goal of this blog was to daily post for three months: April to June, which I did 🙂 Succeeding out of the blue the first step of a project selection gave me in July all I needed to participate to a major artistic event in Paris and organize a small beautiful artistic happening at the South of France. How about my finances? Eh… no they have not become better… And love? Well, I have fallen in love, and also lived a short relationship, so there was some action. Still, these experiences felt like rehearsals in a way 🙂

april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation

Hello dear June and farewell,

I have promised to write for three months, April to June. Here is my starting point, at the beginning of April:

After having been insulted by a wannabe boss, I decided to change myself in order to get a real job and true love.

 April to June.

 In Paris where I actually live the last years”

A post a day. I succeeded to fulfill the promise to myself, even if, sometimes, I was one or two days late in finishing my posts.

Blogging, has been in itself a fulfilling experience. I shared feelings and instants of my everyday life. I took some distance from them and from myself.

Is there a result after three months soul-searching?

Yes. There is a tangible result, a miracle, I wrote about on June 27: I passed the first step of a selection for the funding of my project…

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May 2- monthly update for success

My blog is one month old, and here is my update: what am I looking for, what success means to me and my understanding of a passionate relationship and true love 😉

april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation

Dear May,

you probably have no idea about the commitment I have taken with April, and the discussions between us- unless you were reading my blog.

To sum up, I have promised to transform myself, in order to reach two objectives important for my happiness: true love, and a real job that allows me to live from my passion.

Now, with all respect, I wouldn’t like to go back to what true love represents for me: is it more or less, living a passionate relationship with a person who is complementary: physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc; in a way that we both grow.

A real job is one that allows me to live from the things I love to do, that are meaningful: writing fiction, and organizing artistic events.

Now, I spent the greatest part of the day doing my laundry, cleaning up the house -almost- and preparing an update for…

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3 months to transform: April to June

Goodmorning October,
in the last few days before you go, I would like to review the most important moments of this blog for me, and see how it can continue in the last three months of 2014 🙂
So, here is my very first blog-post on March 31rst 2014: the starting point!

april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation

After having been insulted by a wannabe boss, I decided to change myself in order to get a real job and true love.

April to June.

In Paris where I actually live

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October 25- Rain at the Paris Opera

October hi,

Have you been at the Garnier Opera in Paris? Have you watched the wonderful Chagall ceiling? Isn’t it amazingly beautiful? It has been painted in 1960, and it is just an enchantment for the eyes… please, since you are not Parisian, buy an Opera ticket as high as you can, it should cost about 10 to 12 euros no matter what it is performed, just to admire it! Oh, I am sorry, as a month, you don’t need to bother with trivialities like tickets…

Wait a second April, you might say, is it for the ceiling that you went to the Opera or to watch a ballet?

Yes, but since I was at the fourth flour, I was closer to the ceiling than the scene. But for a ballet,this is not a problem of course, especially one where the architecture of the choreography is so impressive, as “Rain” of the choreographer Anne Teresa de Keersmaeker. Steven Reich’s music made me think rain was falling, but it was a festive, rain.

Despite the music that is so intense and the crazy rhythm of the dance, you get out with a lively, happy feeling. It is youth, it is love, it is movement 🙂

I was there with some friends and we got lucky not to have rain as we returned home, in this way we walked part of the distance and did again some Paris by night. The ponts illuminated, the people on the streets, talking, … we ended up at a small bar where we philosophised about life, relationships, wine…

I decided to leave them before the clock strikes 12 and my carriage is transformed into a pumpkin 🙂


October 24b- Love Poem by Maya Angelou

Dear October,

I was supposed to go out with friends, but having worked late, I didn’t feel like it; so instead, I thought, let’s post a French love poem, that could put me in the right mood…

The thing is, I couldn’t find a translation I liked, the meaning was lost, no feeling… and I don’t dare to translate myself, … it could be deforming it…

So now what?

I found this wonderful love poem by Maya Angelou to avoid any embarrassment with the language.

"We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free."
Maya Angelou



October 24- Going towards the same goal, but changing approach

Dear October,

I am going through a phase where I fall into Einstein’s quotes that seem to make a lot of sense in my everyday life. This one for example:

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

Albert Einstein

The way I understand it, it is important to have a goal, but to be flexible as to the means to reach it. If I want to go to the city center and there is a problem with the tube, I might take the bus. Or a bicycle. I don’t need to change my destination. 

At the same time, I might do the same thing again and again because of something that has been hurtful in the past and I am conditioned to replay the same ritual. If I was hurt in one way, I don’t need to repeat the scene that hurt in the past, because this is the only thing I know. It won’t go away in this way. I need to realize I have been hurt, and forgive, let it go, or do something to help other people to take a different path, or cope with it 🙂

Write a blog-post!



October 23b- The café accross the street- or how to break free from the past

Dear October,

the café across the street is an extension of my home. It is not as if they decided it exactly, they were invaded and had to live with the consequences :-). Yesterday I asked them to keep the keys of my home and pass it to a friend who would come to visit. Tonight I camped there with another friend while waiting for my  laundry to finish.

I asked them to keep our table with the drinks while we went out on an errand.

So,  it turns out that when I feel at home, I will do what I am accustomed to. It could be something nice, like meeting friends, or less nice, as for example, eating something that is not good for me.

Is it the same thing with relationships? Do we have a habit as to the way we react and apply it in our next meeting?

Are we ready to really meet someone new, or is it that we are concentrated in our own childhood or other traumas, and just use new acquaintances to replay well-known scenes?

How do we break free from the past and embrace the new without preconceptions and judgments?

Do you have an answer October?

Well, maybe it helps to understand what is our own story, and how to write a new one.