October 24, 2022- To be close or not to be close?

Dear October,

don’t ask where I have been these last times, and I won’t ask you either… actually, let’s pretend we run into each other in our morning walk in the park, in the same way as I run into Mr. S, my former landlord. And his dog. We were happy, with some small feeling of guilt on my side, for not having inquired about the existence of any bill. But apparently, there wasn’t any. So much the better.

So let’s continue our relationship where we left it: in London.

Here I am, dear October, with many changes taking place both in the country, in the world, and in my life. A New head of state, changes everywhere. Nice changes happening in my life.

But this is not the moment to start my confidence.

I would like to ask your opinion: how do you keep the right kind of distance from people at work or with your neighbours so that you have a smooth relationship?

The kind of place where I live is like a hotel: a lot of different people and habits, and somehow some grudges came up in my discussion with a new friend. It seemed that by acknowledging these grudges the place seemed full of them. It is like when you agree on some negatives they seem to become more important.

And then I kind of regret starting the conversation. By acknowledging something we made it more tangible.

How to get out of a gossiping state of mind and dissipate anything negative I might have said or accepted to hear about?

By making a list of positive characteristics of the people I have criticised- including myself.

So here we are:

K is picking a fight easily but she is also emotional and good and goes the extra mile for those who are her friends

L might be a cold fish and flirt with all women but is also someone with good conversation and culture

Or something of the kind

How do you get along with the other months, October?

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July 12, 2020- Day 4 out of 66 for new habit- self confidence and self love

Hello July,

so, 4th day to get myself to care for me in a deep way: in terms of food, relationships, work, body, feeling deserving for good things.

After having a haircut and communicating with my love interest, I realised he is having a lot in his plate right now, and maybe flirting is not in his priorities.

Or almost. I could leave him some space and if he wants to discuss anything or share it with me, I will be there. But I will also have my heart and eyes and ears open for love.

He seems to be paralysed because he can’t make up his mind and make a decision about his future. This is something I have experienced also, from time to time.

In this case, I think it’s better to step back and take a holiday. Pray, listen to the birds, (there is a pigeon next to me right now, singing … as nice as it can get …).

I am also happy to continue writing my new book.

And grateful for everything.

It’s important to realise we are not as intelligent and knowledgeable as we think and be ok with that.

In other words, even when we think we have enough information to make a decision, we usually don’t. Or, even worse, we don’t know ourselves and our wishes enough.

What are we to do?

Listen to the occasional pigeon (if nothing else is around) singing, and be laid back. Then, try to get some information from people and sources which might be worth listening to, and also consult our gut feeling.

Voilà!

So today, I will go see some friends, trying to keep a physical distance 🙂

7 Steps To Developing A New Habit

August 14, 2018- Update on Love, Work and Vacation

Dear August,

where have I been all this time? Was it on a little white cloud, on the wings of love, forgetting all my everyday life practical questions?

Almost, I was up, down, and around.

My June love story lost steam and practically disappeared in July.

I managed to get myself a virus and I spent a lot of time sleeping and watching Disney and Dreamworks creations (from the Trolls to Baby Boss…)

Anyway, I realized a vacation is a must, and I landed on my home-town where I spent time with family and friends and I decided that all I needed is sleep, rest and relax.

It is only in August that I emerged and I started writing, again, the sequel of my first novel;

Well, to go back to love questions, do I feel sad?

Not exactly.

Was I in love?

I was grateful to have this good looking, intelligent, successful, active, thoughtful guy, full of attentions. I saw fireworks!

But somehow, I stressed up.

Was it for real?

It was almost too good to be true.

This guy, a 40 year-old, was showering me with attentions for a whole month, and I think that I was responding positively but somewhat with less enthusiasm than his.

He seemed serious about his career coming out of a two year relationship and we had common friends. Not the kind of person who was frivolous and flirtatious here and there.

Was it my instinct of self-preservation or my self-sabotage side that wanted for things to go more slowly?

in any case, my perfect june man left for a two-week business trip and when he came back to London, he found me and my virus, and then he just… vanished!

Now that I am back in full health, I contemplate if a little virus can chase away a strong connexion or dissipate a buble that wasn’t love.

Because I am not interested in the fast food of love: the kind of place where you are served fast, and bad quality food.

I am for the three star Michelin restaurant, where food is prepared with the best ingredients and it takes its time to arrive in your plate.

This fast in love fast out of love person, was looking for appearances.

Good luck to each of us and as they say in fairy tales, “and they lived happily ever after”, in our separate ways, in this case!

P.S. A small “clin d’oeil for my friend Paul @ SocialMedia who asked me how things go!

http://www.documentarytube.com/articles/top-heartwarming-10-facts-about-love

June 20, 2018- Love and how to stay cool

Hello June,

it seems that I have a boyfriend, he is wonderful, loving, and he came out of nowhere, almost. Is he for real? It is so recent, I still pinch myself. It is too early to say.

But that doesn’t stop me for walking with a BIG smile in my face, and even if someone is pushing me at the busy London streets, I am in a very good mood and thank them.

What is he finds out I have been a struggling artist?

Or it shows in any case?

Let’s concentrate on work and stay cool.

So?

Any progress there?

Well, kind of.

I am waiting a response from a galley owner who seemed

interested.

And then?

I am putting together a hell of an art portfolio.

And I have a month to do it.

Expecting a miraculous intervention.

Because everything is possible.

So, making things happen or letting them happen and sitting back in a relaxed way?

Something in between 🙂

June 7, 2018- Romance in a busy week

Hello June,

how do you know if something is a romance and not a creation of your imagination? Especially when you have an inclination for daydreaming and creating artificial realities…

And on top of that, when you are busy…

Hmm, let’s see.

The best thing is to relax and let things happen in their own rhythm I guess…

It is like waiting results from an exam.

Have I passed?

Instead of thinking about it, let’s do something else and the result will come in any case 🙂

This is London romance by the way 😉

https://theconversation.com/is-feminism-killing-romance-69676

December 15, 2017- Home for Christmas

Hello December,

I just got home for Christmas and I already had a mini-crisis with my father feeling old and not with much life left. I only said he should think of every day, but I couldn’t help feeling overwhelmed to have to raise his spirits.

So, what do I do to lift myself up, flying in the sky?

I go out for coffee, although it’s better to have a green juice. Maybe I will have both. And then, I connect with my friends.

I change the appearance of my blog 🙂

And after that, I look for my projects, as the project to publish my poetry…

 

 

 

December 7, 2017- Focus-ing and energy

Hello December,

I am recovering after moving in to a new place and I woke up wondering how I will recharge my energy.

Instead of thinking whatever, I can breathe and do the things I really like 🙂

http://introvertrecharge.com/manifesto/

https://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/8-ways-to-recharge-your-energy-and-your-spirit/slide/7

November 19, 2017- Pizza expectation

Hello November,

the expectation of a nice Italian pizza is a great way to start Sunday, especially if you have some work to do instead of from being lazy and enjoying the frosty morning.

A semi-flirtatious person texted me an emoticon with a kiss and love, only to tell me it was a mistake, and it wasn’t addressed to me. I just raised virtually my shoulders.

This population of semi probably needs evacuation before the end of the month to make space for something more authentic.

So, while waiting for the Italian night a song by a French with Italian origin, I think:

October 18, 2017- The Rules :-)

Hello October,

in the midst of chaotic events, a friend has offered me ‘The Rules’ to inspire me getting a Mr Right.

After skimming it, I decided it’s good to retain the essential: we need to respect ourselves and others will respect as then.

The same goes for jobs.

Do I feel like the best anyone could have? Do I show there is competition?

That I am an asset?

Let’s become hard to get.

I have a meeting today, I will leave early. And go to another one in the same way.

xxx

April

 

June 17, 2017- On relationships and self disclosure

Hello June

how much do we disclose in order to stay genuine in our relationships and at the same time protect ourselves?

let’s say we meet new people, then what?

Do we tell them what bothers us, thrills us, what we are afraid of?

Where is the limit?

Do we need to share all our bad habits, messiness, or our dreams?

There is a feeling our instinct that decides, our gut feeling, I guess.

At least I function this way.

On the other side, TIME is important.

And Patience.

Relationships are like dancing.

You need to know your partner in order to coordinate better.

Time and interest in ourselves and in others.

Recognizing that someone can be harmful and still liking him is looking at this person and connecting, instead of pretending that everybody is the same and treat them that way.

 

https://rockstarrose.wordpress.com/self-disclosure/