Hello May,
a lot of things happened while you were around, have you noticed? But it’s not the moment to contemplate since I am writing and finishing TODAY.
Hang around there, I will get back to tell you how it all went.
Having a meeting with my editor in a while.
Yes, a virtual one 🙂
May, hello,
have you ever. had deadlines? Yes, you are leaving us in a couple of days. But, guess what: I need to finish a small article by tomorrow.
When a deadline is so close, it somehow mobilises every part of me. How about you? There is a notion of fear and panic, freezing, staring at the paper, or the computer screen. Unable to move. That’s what our ancestors might experience from time to time in front of a mighty predator.
How about fight or flight?
There is no flight possibility.
Fight is the only way out.
So, let’s go for it!
I am having a piece of chocolate to lift my spirits and move instead of staring.
One word at a time makes the page full.
Have a nice and productive day!!!
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Hello May,
big part of spring has been spent in my hometown and in my parents’ home with the cat. It felt better to isolate with them and get back a glimpse of my childhood, childhood tv series and reads.
And this time, being grateful just to be with everything else being closed.
On the other hand, when everything was closing down, it seemed that I was accelerating.
I almost finished some manuscripts left a while ago.
Ok, I also had a rejection.
But there are also some opportunities in the horizon.
Got back to my novel.
Finding a way to be creative in the present, might be the best thing to do!
Hey, May,
how is it going? I am prone to feeling guilty because I don’t fulfil everybody’s demands, and all those I ask of myself.
But this is just a trap.
Why would I fulfil everything in the first place?
Because it’s my job and I am payed for it?
Or because I am a daughter, a partner, a sister, a …?
Hmm, let’s start from the job. It seems that even if I work most of the day, there is more to do. How about pleasure? It would have to be through my job because there is not much left outside. Ok, there is the cat. My parents’ cat.
So maybe, I need to start from doing something nurturing and fulfilling for myself. And then, when I am satisfied, I become productive. How about that?
And instead of waiting for something to come, I put myself to writing again. Creative writing. Because writing without adjective, is what we do when we email people.
Being creative, that’s what I need not to feel guilty to myself!!!
Let’s allow ourselves to be creative!!!
https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Creative
Hello May,
I read a lot of things regarding taking responsibility for what happens to us. This is of course important, since we are the ones who interpret every situation, who feel or not satisfied with an outcome, who feel the pain or the joy…
But should we feel responsible for “everything”? Let’s say people around make different demands: from our family, to our colleagues or acquaintances. It is just a small step to feel overwhelmed and close to a burn out.
In that case, we might just sit back and think: is this really me, or only my responsibility?
Ok, I might have underperformed in this part of my job, did I get any training? Did I have the necessary information?
Or people ask me to give my time, my resources, X, Y and Z.
How about sitting back for a second and say:
Wait a minute, if you want me to thrive, could you give me support in this and that?
Or if it’s a family member: are you sure you can’t do that? Or maybe if it’s easier for me, I’ll do it and then you take up something I struggle with.
Or if it’s resources, why don’t we share the burden?
Not in an aggressive way, but saying, wait a minute, this is putting a pressure on me, and probably there is another way to do it that will benefit everyone.
If you, X, Y or Z don’t respect my limits, then I might have to take action to have them respected. Using any advantage I have: law, support of other people, meditate, smile, or… walk away!
Hello May,
I think I got a lot of things done, but staying with my parents during lockdown also adds their responsibilities to my already full schedule. Meaning, I stressed up.
Old house, repairs to be done, and not really the moment I have a big bank account.
That’s why I decided to get a promotion.
A better job.
And to play Lotto.
In the meanwhile, I might decide if other people should dictate my life and schedule. Yes, everything looks like an emergency. People have different priorities. And perspectives. Something is vital for one, insignificant for the other.
And overall, they can manage so well with or without me.
But if I take everything in, I will not manage anything;
They might not like my style.
But guess what,
it’s the only one I have for now.
To keep “saine d’esprit”, in other words,
to Keep Calm and Carry On!
Hello May,
yes, on Saturday I had a bad mood: no sign of my colleague who proposed a collaboration. Maybe she didn’t like my work, maybe I tried for nothing…
I kind of felt disempowered. …
And on top of that … family issues…
But Sunday, was another day!
I started with Beatles: Here comes the sun!
And apparently, it’s. good choice!
My colleague responded: there is an interest from an editor, but we need to work out something by the end of May… OMG!
May hello,
two very busy days and my hopes got up a little bit with a possibility for a collaboration. There is an artist I met last year and she invited me to participate to a collective project. It seems good and this person is trustworthy, I think.
So, I put myself to work for it.
Let’s see how it goes.
I was so excited to work on something creative and inspiring again!
Almost afraid to raise my expectations for fear of disappointment (what I learn in CBT).
Hello May,
with a lot of different demands, I kind of stressed up to add this CBT training. Funny, isn’t it? I kind of looked at the number of the chapters and went, oh, no, is this going to take me all this time?
In reality, I wanted to finish fast and easy. Or, I thought it already knew most of the things which needed to be learnt, and I felt I would be finishing in a week or so.
Expectations is something which leads to disappointment, apparently, so I could just enjoy the drive, by taking one class a day and seeing where this is going to lead me.
I also started criticising the poor teacher, deciding if he looked trustworthy enough or not, for me to listen to his message.
Something which was apparently, anticipated.
The essential thing is to apply these ideas to myself:
So, April, I can say to myself, lay back and enjoy the ride.
Hello May,
I am just telling you I decided to take an online CBT course. You forgot I have a Psychology degree? Well I do, and it’s about time I also learn and practice this interesting therapy.
CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you how it goes.
april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation 