May 29, 2015- Spring Update, Part 1

Dear May,

you are leaving us in a couple of days and I have to admit I have left a lot of things pending in my work. Projects I have promised to fulfill, artistic work, my book, etc. Emails I haven’t answered. I wouldn’t come out as dependable these days in the artistic event organization.

Am I responsible for this? Yes, partly. It was I who wanted to go against the current, I who daydreamed as a form of escape when the wannabe boss was giving me a hard time.

When things become hard, the hard get going? Do we need to fight or fly?

I did both. I fought, as much as possible. The wannabe boss threw me out of the Platform. But the Platform was not a form of Paradise.

I also fled.  In my imagination. I disappeared! I took a spring break. I worked alone. On my project A that is not, as usual, bringing me money right away.

I didn’t bother to email people who complained, and instead, I wrote blog-posts.

So, I found a way to keep me happy, for most of the time, and made some other people unhappy, but for unimportant questions. My email wasn’t the center of their existence, after all.

Has this behavior affected my image as a professional? A little bit. But I can wash myself clear if I take action now.

The thing is, it is important to feel empowered. To feel again that my action can change the direction things will take.

And for a while, I wasn’t sure about this.

Now that I am ready to act again, independently of the presence of a wannabe boss, I realize how precious it is to find a group of like-minded and like-hearted, creative people.

One can be great, but an encouraging environment can transform us to something even better!


And after all, talents are important only when they are developed and used for the common good 🙂



May 28, 2015- Me, my blog and I

Dear May,

it has been a long day full of meetings, projects, job hunting, and friends. Finally, I am glad to be in front of my computer, just to say hello to my blog and let my feelings unfold. Have you ever been to a party where you talked, had a lot to eat, drink, got tired, felt your shoes hurting you, and just wanted to get rid of them?

Sure it was great, it was fun.

And yet, it is soo good to have a moment alone, quiet, … a form of luxury… just before going to bed.

As a normally busy street late at night or… early in the morning.

Time to let the thoughts of the day evaporate slowly, to start closing your eyes… to relax.

Have a “tisane”, an herbal tea. That’s what I am going to prepare and you are welcome.

Chine Thé de pétale de rose de tisane de Rosebud pour améliorer la circulation de sang fournisseur

May 26, 2015- Getting clear about what I want

Dear May,

have you have ever felt confused about something you did? You decide for example that you want more flowers, and instead of the good weather that we normally expect, you become windy and cold, one day, warm the next. I had also decided to go in one direction and then I just did something that points into another!

Let me explain: for quiet some time I have been working on an artistic project and would like to get it funded. I am at a crossroad right now professionally speaking, and not only. I am going to move out of my office at the Platform and out of the mean wannabe boss.

So I thought this is a good time to get in touch again with people who I have met the last years and I appreciate. They could become a source of inspiration. Among them, a young informatics guy who is helping artists with their installations. I decided to call him because he is very competent and he has always been on my side. I thought this would motivate me.

When we had met, I was working on something different which I have put aside. I could call it my plan B. So naturally, he mentioned it right away. He thought I called him for this purpose, and started giving me ideas and suggestions. He is so eager to help me, that he is ready to lend me a book that would be most helpful.

I am so grateful, but I also felt overwhelmed because I accepted to borrow this book. And I feel bad because I didn’t dare tell him I am not interested.

I should have said: N, look, I just wanted to talk, or see you because you are a vitamin. But I am not on plan B right now. I work on plan  A.

Am I going to borrow his book this Friday or excuse myself and do something else?

I need to be clear with my purposes and feelings; say what I want and need!




May 24th, 2015- On love crushes

Dear May,

how do we break through repetitive patterns in our life ? For example, having a crush for guys who are not available, or not into us or … or… or..? Girl-talk with two of my friends -who are almost single- brought up this question.

What is “almost single” or “almost” in a couple? Seing someone you are not exactly into, or not considering it a relationship but still having a lot of elements that would define a relationship. For example, you date this person often, and repeatedly in time. You have met each other’s friends.

On the other hand, you don’t consider yourself being in a relationship because you are not sure this is what you want; or the other person has made it clear this is not his definition of a relationship; or something in between. Or you don’t feel in love and you are just waiting for someone else to make your heart beat. Someone less normal maybe.

Now, the three of us agreed there is something dysfunctional about it. Friend no 1 is almost in a relationship with someone she almost likes but she is not sure this is the one. Friend no 2 is willing to fall in love but goes through an indifference period. No one she likes to be found. I go through an almost relationship and imaginary crush period.

Yesterday I met again my imaginary crush and asked myself why I blushed when the object of my attention came for the traditional greeting “bise”, or two kisses on the cheeks. Haven’t I had enough of this almost friendship? Isn’t it boring not to meet someone for real?

Dear May, please fix all this sentimental issues, summer is coming and lovely hearts need to find their right place!

May 22d, 2015: Back to Paris!

Dear May,

so many things happened this month, I couldn’t even catch my breath! Right now I am siting in my living room in Paris, where I arrived yesterday evening; after a long stay in my hometown, at the South of France.

T-shirts, books and shoes are on the floor, and on the chairs. They are witnesses to the way I prepared my suitcase a month ago : should I bring with me this or that? I feel overwhelmed looking at the familiar mess.

Mess or no, I am really happy to be back. I already saw two of my neighbor-friends and the lady-baker with the moustache across the street noticed I have returned; even though she pretended not to.

The weather? Beautiful: not too warm, not too cold. Just good enough to be out. For a walk.

Paris in Spring

May 21rst, 2015- Emerging :-)

Dear May,

I checked up on the dictionary the definition of the verb “emerge”, and here is what I came up with. So, to “emerge” is:

1. to move out or away from a surrounding fluid, covering, or shelter: seals emerging from the water; animals emerging from the forest.


a. To come into view: The house emerged in the fog.
b. To become conscious: emerge from sleep.
c. To become known or prominent after being in obscurity: evidence that emerged from the investigation; new leaders that emerged from the party ranks.
3. To come into existence: a period when many new life forms emerged.
I have “emerged” after a small operation and it feels like waking up to the wonders of this world again. Being born again in a way.
Fortunately, all went well, it was a routine operation.
But still, the experience of “emerging”, makes me wonder if it is similar to the one a baby has, arriving in this world.
As adults, we have formed a conscience, but still, emerging offers a new look, a new possibility to start over, to see things in a different light!