here I am, responsible of a small artistic project in Istanbul, whereas at the same time I am looking for funding and a job. Oh, and not to forget, today is the “fête de la musique” in Paris. How do I put myself together?
Yesterday I had a meeting with an agent from the States, who had risen my hopes. He was interested in my project but could only suggest sources of funding to contact. Ok, this is already something.
And I haven’t finished preparation for the artistic event I organize in Istanbul. But have made progress in the right direction.
How about taking a break and “lose myself to dance”?
the event day in Istanbul is approaching and I am still dealing with a messy situation: not have assured funding, my programme is not complete, and I have been menaced with cancellation if things are not clear today.
more than 31° Celcius today in Paris! My summer clothes and shoes were still hiding and all of a sudden I had to find something light to wear! It felt like a holiday … almost… things changed in the evening with a storm.
This day could serve a metaphor for me: I started in the morning with a visit to a “salon de beauté”. It is something to do when I get stressed up. And then I have to work until almost midnight. I guess I am a night-bird.
It was at about 1.00 that I went back to my different projects:
-Istanbul, to begin with. I am to get there by the end of the month with a group of artists. Will I get paled? Probably no. Will I get funding from the wannabe boss? He promised, but …
-A Brazilian artist I work with arrives in Paris just before this event and I am in touch with him for whatever he might need in terms of organization.
Then, there is something else for early September.
Am I spending much time for things that might not pay off materially? Yes and no.
Not right away.
I need a strategy. That is the thing.
Am I in denial, ignoring the realities of the artistic life in Paris?
I probably am.
One of my strategies has been to built international collaborations, but it hasn’t worked well enough.
have I mentioned that I promised to organize a mini artistic event in Istanbul by the end of the month? I had invited some artists, but there is a risk that the wannabe boss might not pay for their expenses. He promised to do it as a “bonus” to me, if I leave “quietly”, without protesting complaining.
Maybe because I am more powerful than I think.
On the other hand, I had a really hard time to reimburse my artists last year for the event in the South of France. What do you mean if there is any written evidence of the promise. No, there isn’t any.
And yes, I could have been more organized and asked instead of avoiding the question for the last two months. But I felt overwhelmed with other issues and it was too much to add this one.
On the other hand, I really want to go to Istanbul, a mythical city. And somehow, deep down, I feel that I am going to make it.
The other thing I need to keep in mind is that this is a good time to look for jobs and this is more urgent.
Istanbul is a great project, it blows my mind but it is like a firework, and I need some steady fire to warm my home and cook dinner.
I make a big deal of transformation: to come closer to my desires and aspirations, but there is something I need to take care of: accepting myself and my rhythm, so transform in a way which respects that. Trying to become something that goes against our nature is of no use.
For example, you are a howl and you try to get up early in the morning and change your chase habits. That doesn’t particularly agree with you. Also, it is not a question of underestimating night life and thinking that only morning birds are cool.
Now, I have been promising myself to get up at 7.00 and instead, it has been 10.30 and I started stressing up.
On the other hand, last night I stayed up working on my novel until 24.30.
The only difficulty is that most of the other people don’t have this rhythm. If I need to meet and interact with some of them, it might help to find some common ground.
There is a new artistic Platform I would like to join. For the moment, all I can do is get there in the afternoon 🙂
Great idea to arrive with some sunshine, yesterday we thought ourselves in autumn here in Paris 🙂 Hmm, I started the day greeting some dear neighbors and trying to forget I finished all the ice cream which was on the refrigerator. And I watched three films in a row. How bad is this for a last day of May?
But here you are today!
There are things that need to be taken care of, and frankly, I feel like looking the other way. So, how do I stay cool and organized, a dreamer and a maker, focused on my purpose without being obsessed, determined without becoming insensitive?
Do you have a recipe to suggest?
After doing some research, here is the idea:
a. I did some housework, cleaning up my place, clothes and dusting.
b. I went to the dentist.
c. I told myself I am an awesome person no matter what
d. I prayed
e. I went for a small walk in the nearest garden
f. I called my mum and a good friend
g. I had something nutritious to eat, (boeuf bourguignon, quinoa salad with vegetables and strawberries)