will I drag my body to the gym today? Outside it is raining, and I am in front of an office with a bar of chocolate. Is my will strong enough?
I still have a few hours before the place closes down. Ok, yesterday it was a holiday, this morning I had to go grocery shopping… and then start working on my book…
When there is a will there is a way, a wise person has said… but is there? I have enrolled to the gym already, Brian gave me a ‘tour guide’ and I admired the facilities and the place… I also bought myself a fitness suit.
Well, I also have other objectives for the day, for example to walk about 12000 steps a day. Not to mention reading, writing and research funding, …
two more days to go and since this is a holiday in London, I am taking it easy and update my goals. At times it feels there are so many things to do and I need to prioritize. To keep a cool head and a warm heart 😉
Travelling got in the way to my post a day objective, but I am getting back to it from June 1st. For June and July.
I start going to the gym tomorrow, I got my fitness suit already.
Now, considering practical questions:
Am I going to pursue my artistic organization career? Or just concentrate on writing?
What if writing becomes number one?
Ok writing becomes number one, and then I can put free-lance organization as number two.
There is the new book I plan and I need to fund myself so I can take the next year focusing on that.
I will stay in London for another year and see how it goes. Or open my scope and see if anything interesting presents itself somewhere else also?
I can take 20 minutes a day to research some resources.
the weather was beautiful in London and this has triggered a mood for love to me… and probably to these couples who were kissing on the closest park, to pigeons and to other forms of life…
So how was this mood canalized in my case? I have recently developed a romantic interest for a Portuguese artist. It has been before my trip to Paris. I knew him before and found him moderately attractive. But there was not a particular spark between us.
In the spring colours, something about him became more enchanting. Was it something he said or the fact that he got on my nerves? Difficult to decide. The truth is, we don’t seem to agree on many things. Then why do we hand around together?
Probably because he doesn’t know that many people and this brings expats together somehow. I don’t hang out a lot with other French in the same way as other people. And my workplace is multicultural.
So I had an argument with the Portuguese and now he is avoiding to look at me or to talk to me directly. Is this called sulking?
In any case he points himself in front of me just to show me he doesn’t.
I have been facing a major dilemma since I came back to London. Should I return in September, as it was initially my plan or should I continue in London for yet another year? It is kind of tricky because I like the environment in London but still I don’t know if it is financially affordable in my current circumstances.
But going back to Paris didn’t feel like the right thing to do. So my decision is to stay in London for another year, and to create the conditions for this to be possible.
Not to speak of emotional questions that are like a roller coaster.
So, what is the best thing to do in this case?
I got myself enrolled to a gym
I decided to dynamise myself with a morning routine, … to be defined
I can be nicer to the object of my affection regardless of outcome
I will build more self esteem by making others feel good also
I will start an initiative
Now, you might say how about your other decision to write daily? What happened to that one?
I did the best I could my dear, and I am here again to pick up from where I have left my last challenge.
I am packing and unpacking, after ten days spent between Rouen and Paris in France. Did I visit all the last exhibitions? Well quiet a few of them especially those of my friends. But I dedicated my last day to shopping! Yes London might be great but with my euro as currency I am faithful to Parisian shops and style. Shoes and a bag that goes with it was my priority. They should match this is the reason I walked about 15000 steps -according to my smartphone to find them 😉
But I also brought back with me a lot of feelings, between nostalgia, already six months that I have left- and happiness to find dear friends again!
I tried to do the things I used to do in Paris; it was so familiar, I can almost observe myself in the places I have been so many times. So many memories. But having moved out of this comfort makes it impossible to get back to it.
And so much the better.
It is not about the place. Tomorrow I might come again but I would not return to my old life. My life has changed in the last six months.
It is like when you grow up as a kid and you try a pair of shoes you used to wear last autumn and they are too small all of a sudden.
So even if I love so many things about my old life, there is no meaning in getting back to my old comfortable shoes.
I am in Paris again! It almost took me two months to visit again the dear city where I have spent most of my adult life… and I have a lot of emotions to walk on my street and feel as if I had never moved!
But things have also changed and a lot of things happened in the six months of my absence, not all of them good. But still, and despite a weather which is windy and cloudy, it is May in Paris!
I already met with two of my best friends and now, since it is a holiday in France, I linger in one of my Paris headquarter cafés; with my computer.
Lots of great ideas came to me as I was letting my mind wander, but my working space was kind of reactive to my ideas and I had felt stuck.
I am happy to be here for a week? Yes for sure. Am I happy to have left for London? Yes definitely. We will see what the future holds.
Because it is nice to creat habits, and even nicer to change them!
what do you mean again? This time the trip to France is for my work: our team in London has an artistic project with some local artists. Believe it or not, after so many years living in Paris, I haven’t yet been to Rouen although it is only an hour or so by train. I am looking forward to visiting the famous cathedral and the historical old city.
But there is also a presentation of our artistic project I will need to do and this is not finished the time we are speaking. Why? I had some romantic questions on my mind. Am I in love again?
I am looking for the symptoms in the same way as I look for symptoms of the flu. I could be.
The situation concerns a Portuguese artist who is temporarily in London and we have become closer lately. But I realize that I have started thinking of him quiet a lot. Our approach to art is very different. He seems to be critical of mine and this is kind of tiring, to be honest. On the other hand I find him attractive.
Other people in my place would have taken action, been to hundreds of tinder rendezvous… Instead I have intellectual conversations with international artists which have not evolved into something romantic, … yet.
The South of France was just great, the sea brize and the picturesque ports, but here I am back to London!
The weather feels like spring despite some occasional showers. So I took the advice of ;y friend Brian and went to Camden town and walked around by the canal. This is the best way to get back to the life in London. I had ice cream and promise I will go to Shoreditch for brunch in one of my next missions.
This is also a promise to catch up with the idea of a post a day 🙂
A pause is good and a way to stay faithful to my own rules would be to add the writing days I have missed while I was admiring the scenery …