I have been reading Umberto Eco’s: “Confessions of a young novelist”, exploring the boundaries between fiction and nonfiction. How the author builds the imaginary world and the connexions with different forms of reality, the different readings from different readers. Some of these readers, experts in the medieval worlds he mentions might look for facts and connexions in his writings he wasn’t aware of.
Despite having read “the name of the rose” and loved it absolutely, and then ‘Foucault”s pendulum”, I admit that Umberto has not stirred my interest in the same way here. Yes, I am a young novelist and I love his work and personality overall. But right now, it seems that medieval Europe is not for some reason my biggest passion.
Still, the book is only half-read, so I still have hopes, or it could be that recovering from covid is incompatible with Eco. We’ll see!
yes, it is kind of better as I am COVID negative the last few days, but there is still a feeling of tiredness, and difficulty concentrating- this could also be the effect of spring or the hours I have been trying to decide what to watch on Netflix…
Today I started with a reorganisation of my agenda- all these things I haven’t been doing will be tamed and I will prevail!
Then I started reading something that will eventually lead to writing a piece- an article actually. And I think that I got an interesting idea as to how to structure the flow of my ideas…
Then, some family friends came by to visit my parents and I chassed the cat who was trying to eat the flowers. And no energy for anything else at 6.30 pm.
I should be thankful, and I am thankful indeed because this is already a big step forward.
And to congratulate me for my effort, I am going to offer some chocolate- there is an Easter chocolate egg which needs to be eaten right away.
A lot of new things happen in my life since September when I moved back to London to work on-site. I have arrived stressed and tired after continuous lockdowns, to realize that most people suffered in their own way, even the luckiest among them who were physically ok.
I spent some time worrying that I don’t know that many people in London, and then I realised I haven’t been in touch with some of my dearest old friends who are not living nearby. Do I still have their contact details? For some, it will take work because I haven’t uploaded all of my old contacts in the cloud, and they might be in parts of the world where they don’t use the same social media.
Still, I need to make the effort to see: where are friends from the student’s residence of my first years far from home?
Time to find out!
New friends are great, but old friends are like rocks you build on your foundation of happiness!
Yes, I am in London again where everything is fast, and people are slowly but steadily going towards their pre-pandemic life styles; with precaution, vaccination and masks in the underground.
I still feel stressed, after living with my parents in our village at the South of France. It sounds idyllic, but with the lockdown and my mum’s health issues, it was difficult to keep the balance.
So, here I am, and I feel like a real holiday is in order: the kind of thing where you allow yourself to just BE, living fully in the PRESENT and admiring the birds, the food, the beach, each other, etc…
Without any form of guilt:
Rest and healing is not a luxury it is a necessity!!!
yes, I did it! I have done something new every day for the last 30 days, actually 35 days, and now I intend to prolong it to 66 days, so that the habit sticks with me!!!
What exactly? A lot had to do with food: trying different types of milk for the latte (soya, almond and coconut milk) was one version. And I ended up with coconut milk latte, but I admit that my guilty pleasure is cow milk for a delicious latte with chocolate and cinnamon.
I have also tried all the varieties of coffee I could have access to: Kenya, Ethiopia, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Brazil.
Next thing? Different types of tea and herbal tea (chamomile, and all the possible herbs and blends). Great stuff!
I have taken up colouring for adults, and today I am to buy my second colouring book. And offer colouring books to members of my household.
I have started dancing in the morning, using “Just dance” workouts.
I have gone out with my glasses instead of my contact lenses (because I had a minor eye infection). And I realised how difficult it is to breath with glasses and face mask.
I have decided to try new recipes for our lunch. Vegetable burgers, shrimp spaghetti, I had never cooked before, …
And some other new stuff that take more time:
I have mentioned statistics before, so yes, now I know my way around multiple regression! (more or less, less or more).
I have looked for presents to my godson.
And yes, I feel that doing something new everyday is definitely making me more creative, fun and motivated!
Now I decided to upgrade this challenge to 66 days.
Doing something new and exciting every day here we are!!!
It all started 7 years ago in Paris. I had was a freelancer at a Platform, for the organisation of artistic events. I was under a hideous man, ‘the wannabe boss”, not appreciated and not regularly paid.
On the other hand, I was living in Paris! That was already great for a provincial girl, but it couldn’t get better.
So, I decided to forget my promising but unsuccessful love-stories and to leave France for the UK!
London, it was.
I have had adventures, I have been laid off, I have returned to my hometown and then again, made a place for myself.
I have found a new job.
With a horrid vice-director (a female b… this time).
The Pandemic happened.
I came back to my hometown.
I found a better job and resigned from the previous one!
And now, working from my parents’ home where I have adopted a second cat.
Almost.
He is in their garden. Felix.
The cat in the house, is Bella.
I am so grateful for these blogging years, they have given me supportive friends, clarity, and perspective to gain some awareness.
Thank you blog-sphere and thank you wise blog-friends for making this experience amazing!
April, as of (april4june6, the period I meant to journal every day, initially)
P.S. The photo is mine, I have taken it 7 years ago, in the Luxembourg Gardens, in Paris, for this Blog. Such a great memory!!!
yes, it is a beautiful winter day today; I am feeling better after vertigo, thank you for asking. Indeed, this is why you haven’t seen me more. But it was probably necessary to slow down a bit.
It felt as if I pushed myself too hard with resolutions and to do lists, and I forgot that the most important thing is to enjoy the moment and feel grateful for the air we breathe…
I also admit that I was sad with some criticism I found harsh, and it brought back fears and insecurities.
Taking criticism personally, or being afraid that whatever it is about will be difficult to deal with, this is what made me feel bad.
I realise, that if we believe in our self-worth, criticism can be faced constructively. It is like, “of course, I can learn how to do this better”, or to go towards something I enjoy more.
On the other hand, even when you try your best, someone might not be happy. It is important to put some boundaries to malevolent criticism. Like, thank you, but no, thank you.
Like: “I am sorry you don’t feel well about yourselves, critical guys, and you need to throw all this in my front door. This belongs to you, not to me”.
I sympathise, but I need to go though a ceremony of self-Praise before I deal with that.
Let me make it more concrete.
Let’s say, I am a student, and I have failed, or had bad marks in my assignments. I receive a particularly nasty comment from my professor with personal comments on laziness, not getting the point, making me feel stupid, lazy, not delivering anything worth while. There are also points about not getting my degree.
On my side, I think this is what I love. I felt that I have tried a lot, despite difficult circumstances. What do I do?
Finding at least five reasons I am great for each negative comment. Then, looking at this negative critique and trying to see if there is any concrete, any actionable material.
If there is, then I take note.
Then, I wear my best, and praise myself in front of the mirror. Isn’t it great, to be able to deliver an assignment which almost passed, despite working part time, having to help my family and to face some blues? I am an awesome person. Then, have some coffee and a piece of chocolate.
Now, let’s see if I can get some constructive feedback from someone who is positive, and then try to see how to address the couple of useful points made. And forget about the third one, it was just the bad mood of this critique.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
yes, it is a sunny cold day today, and I have had two morning coffees, continuing with tea. Reading about world challenges in the morning or just enjoying our lockdown thinking that hiding under the bedclothes we can emerge when challenges are over?
So, how do I feel energised and ready to learn statistics? By loving statistics, and seeing them as a game. How about dream time? Well, visiting the blog of my friend Brian: https://equinoxio21.wordpress.com is offering scope for imagination, even more than any series could do! Enjoy!
Full of magic and views of everyday World Art. It always makes me feel like travelling!!!
yes, I have been procrastinating all morning, despite loads of work I need to finish. Somehow, my brain refuses to focus. Could it be the extra amount of sugar in the post-holiday sugar hangover?
Most probably, yes.
So, what? Should we damp the rest of the last huge cake?
I have taken a step by step adaptation to every day life, but I realise I need extra measures. For example, for the next holiday, whenever this may be, I could plan something else than eating and Netflixing, with or without a lockdown.
Like becoming a TaiChi instructor, (I have practiced for a few years), or learn how to paint online and produce something, or go for walks and discover areas I didn’t know existed in my neighbourhood.
In any case, something that my body would help me for.
And my brain.
But it makes no sense crying over spilt milk, apparently.
So, what is done, is done.
So, before I get back to work, I will plan a future dream holiday.
And just after, I start doing something, like the outline of a chapter 🙂
april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation 