June 21, 2016: Fantasizing about a friendly ‘sortie’ when I work on my computer

Hello June,

well, they say be carefull what you dream of: it may happen! And this is exactly what happened to me tonight.

I was writing this post in front of my computer, and was looking for a photo of a group of friends hanging out together… and guess what?

It was easier to get a photo of the cult ‘Friends’ than any random group…

a few hours later I was invited for drinks by a group of visual artists and had a really great time!

So much the better for the summer solstice, that was a great way to begin summer!

 

http://www.vulture.com/2016/03/20-somethings-streaming-friends-c-v-r.html

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April 23, 2016: Post day 10- Balance work and life :-)

Hello there April,

today I thought I should work, this is a great change. If Saturday is here for us to rest, I thought I could work on a Saturday, and rest on a Monday. How about that?

There is a plan of a new book I look forward to finish, because I am getting to the South of France next week. I would feel better to reach this mille stone before I go.

So instead of going to Camden market for breakfast, as some friends have suggested, I just did my laundry in the morning and went to our working space -to put together my ideas.

Not having heard a declaration of love last night -despite full moon and all- might have induced me to call up some friends and I did.

But again, how did I end up there? Moving to a new city requires so many things to do, and I have focused on my work: writing, on the one hand, and getting involved to some artistic event organization, to take place mostly in France.

And yes, apart from occasional contact with artists on the move, I didn’t make a lot of friends. So I ended up hanging around with this Hungarian who was always proposing to go to exhibitions, dinners and to walk around London. To whom I was not attracted. But I though he was because he was seeking my company so much. We spent all our weekends together for the last 2 months. But apparently, this sort of ‘security’ in the big city, is ok, but not enough for any of us.

So I decided to get in touch with some Facebook friends who must be in town also. I will see a French friend tomorrow morning. We have been out of touch for a few years because she was in South America, and now she found herself in London with her new family.

I really look forward to meeting her!

April 22, 2016: Post day 9- Love misunderstanding

Hello April,

I am going through the phase, let’s try a small change every day, so I thought I could open up to this man who seemed to pursue me for the last two months.

You want to know what happened?

He told me it was a misunderstanding and he sees me as a friend.

I admit this is the first time it happens to me. Because I am shy and if I am not sure, I don’t start a conversation. And then, there are cases where there is no doubt about the kind of interest the other person has.

But in this case, there was someone with whom I spent all my weekends doing all sorts of things. He was asking me with insistence about my personal life and he was telling me I should finally decide. Not to mention that he was putting himself out there as someone available.

I don’t know a lot of people in London, so I enjoyed having someone to talk to. I was not attracted to him as a man. I usually have strong feelings for someone from the start. But it has happened to me to fall in love “blindly” and then discover my prince was a frog.

So I tried to persuade myself that I should give it a chance.

When he told me I got it all wrong, I felt two things.

a. relief, that I didn’t have to push myself

b. my ego was hurt. Is it possible that he has not been influenced by my fatal attraction?

c. where is this thing called love?

Now, relief is very important. It is like not having to eat something you dislike because it is supposed to be good for your health. And then you read an article where a new study reveals it is the opposite. So you can forget about it.

Then, I realize I would like someone to love;

Maybe if I don’t spent all my free time with my friend I could get to know new people.

So, I guess feelings are important and I could also listen to them 🙂

 

How Long Did It Take You to Fall in Love?

April 15, 2016: post day 2-on relationships

April what do you think:

do we know our feelings ourselves? Can we be the best judge of what is happening to us or is it someone who knows us well who can do it better?

I ask because I had a conversation with a friend of mine. I have been spending some time lately with a Spanish guy. Visiting exhibitions, going to the cinema together. He is an artist I had collaborated with before on one or two occasions when I was living in Paris. The thing is, are we going out together because we don’t have enough friends yet? Or is it that we like each other? Is there a romantic interest involved?

You might tell me hang on a second, are you 12 year’s old? Shouldn’t you have resolved this question before?

This is true but I am not very sure. When we meet we discuss relationships. Our past and our goals in life. It is a little bit like a friendship of the time I was an adolescent.

Is there any form of attraction between us? Or is it a process towards another step in our lives?

What Big Data Can Teach You About Love and Friendship

 

October 26, 2015- New friendships

How was your day October?

partly sunny partly cloudy? Well for London it couldn’t get better!Do you know how that made us humans feel? As an unexpected and surprising gift.

This is how I feel when someone I don’t know very well, manifests a form of kindness to me. In a way I can’t explain. It takes me by surprise, and can move me to tears.

Almost as having a sunny autumn day in London.

Having a friend, or a lover, a parent, a colleague, being nice to us, is something which we could more or less expect. After all, this seems to be the definition of their role. Or people who depend on us. Or with whom we went to school together. Or who were born in the same small town.

But strangers? So a new friend, someone who shows generosity to me when I need it, and when I least expect it, just makes me feel that love, beauty and truth are as real as trees and cars.

Love is in the air…

 

 

July 3rd, 2015- Friendship and Confidence

Hello hot July,

I am at the same Parisian café where I used to go in February, for very different reasons:  it was warm when it was cold outside, it is fresh when the temperatures outside rise. Love and in general friendship acts in this way.

Like a balm, for the soul and even the body. How do we recognize people who are our harbor? How do we become a harbor for others, and also for ourself?

Confidence, is something important. It includes among other things, faith. We have faith when we open the door to someone else, or when we get in someone else’s home. Faith that this person is a safe place.

And when it isn’t? What if our expectations are not met, our love is not bestowed on someone who is loving us back or our trust is not honoured?

Then again, we are lucky to have learnt, felt, and made on our way to the next harbor. Because we also like adventure, and because the sun rises every morning even after the darkest night 🙂

In Istanbul, I met wonderful people, reunited with some old friends and love crush, I made new friends. My trust was tested, my intuition also.

Trust and love have won.

February 21- Speaking up your mind

Dear Feb,

I hope you don’t mind this form of intimacy, February. You have been around for a while, so it feels like this is the moment to have a conversation with you: on speaking up my mind. No, I don’t mean I have been lying to you until now. Don’t be susceptible!

What I mean is, you have been watching me interacting with people, so you will understand.

Let’s say we go out for a drink, coffee, or herbal tea. We engage into a conversation, and then you say something I don’t like. It might be on purpose or not. I find it hurtful, in any case. So, how do I react? Do I answer back? Tell you, wait a second here, … ?

It could be a casual friendly relationship, a flirt, it could be an intimate relationship, and this is more tricky.

What I do, personally, is that I might think:  “I don’t like what you say, but I’d rather not tell you directly, I don’t want an argument”. 

But still, I will not feel ok, and this will affect our relationship, because I might withdraw.

So is it better to speak up my mind?

If one person for example starts criticizing something I like, let’s say, blogging, or being a Parisian café fun, …

Finally, YES, I think it is better. It is good to say: “you are trespassing here, darling. I don’t like what you do to my personal garden, that I nurture with care and love”.

If I don’t, I might be an indifferent gardener. And this is not a basis for any kind of healthy relationship.

So, dear, you don’t have to like my habits, approve of my behavior or life-style.

But if you want to be friends, respect our difference and love what you don’t understand.

http://www.sacredcirclecreativelife.com/uncategorized/speak-up/

 

 

February 19- Happy Chinese New Year’s Eve!

Hello February,

happy -Chinese- New Year’s Eve! I have extremely enjoyed New Year’s Eve with Chinese friends in Belleville, the Parisian Chinatown in previous years! So great! Watching the dragon dance and tasting excellent food at a traditional restaurant, is something to remember!

Friendship is probably the best way to get in touch with another culture, that is, if you don’t travel there yourself!

Discussions, and participation in different festivities, food, is an entrance to other people’s hearts 🙂

This good friend of mine is now back to China and I really miss him!

Xie Xie dear friend for introducing me to a new way of thinking!

 

the spring festival

November 23- Weekend update :-)

Hello November,

thanks for this beautiful weekend in Paris, we didn’t have so mild autumn days the last years, so we were out and about the city: in cafés, parks, shopping centers, bookstores, or simply, in the streets.

I was having a friend visiting, someone I haven’t seen for three years; it was good to catch up, and somehow, this visit was very uplifting for me! And on Saturday night there was an even bigger gathering with other friends at a tiny restaurant, we were about a dozen, so great to be together!

Old and new friends together, is realizing where we came from and where we are now. It makes us reflect on where we want to be in the future.

Seeing old friends makes us go back to the time we were hanging around together, and get out of a time capsule. We realize what has happened in between: how we have changed and how we haven’t, what things have been accomplished and other not, …

A few years ago, I was having an idea about writing a novel, but hadn’t finished yet. I meant to organize artistic events, but the idea had not materialized yet. Right now, a novel is here and I am talking to publishing houses; there is also a translation that started. Considering the artistic event organization, I have made progress with initiatives that have met success, like the one in the one this summer, in the South of France.

The next step is to find partners and people who can complement me to achieve more and better 😉

Anyway, the bonus with positive friends old and new, is that we can focus on our accomplishments, even if they are small and decide to accelerate! This is what happened to me.

I wrote down a number of things I would like to see done and started … action

Having friends is like having mirrors, but at the same time, it can be a way to become perfect: our qualities together, make us a hell of a group!

http://www.ridesintherain.com/tags/where-i-am-2/

 

November 12- Friends talking on relationships again

Dear November,

don’t get me wrong, but I was a bit annoyed today after listening to a friend’s councils on my love life.

We went out for a drink and after some questions and answers I mentioned my most recent romantic adventures. And the two last times I have fallen in love. With B, the guy of the café with whom I was flirting in May, and K, the mysterious guy I met during my holidays at the South of France, this summer.

Especially for this one, I felt something very strong, it was as if we knew each other all our lives, and everything you are supposed to feel when you are in love. And what happened? Just a goodby kiss and I was left feeling up the rest with my imagination. Because he is in a relationship.

I know I have no reason to expect anything, but there are some feelings lingering.

My friend analyzed these situations and the result was that I get it wrong, either on the way I behave or because I appear too assertive and powerful women and scare men away.

My friend meant well, she also talking about herself as a powerful woman.

But this result and analysis didn’t feel right. It was as if I was thrust into a category, classified into a box, from where you don’t know how to escape.

I am sure I am afraid of relationships myself, and can have sabotaging behaviors, but I feel that with the time I am taking more risks.

And yes, I believe that we change and even if there are patterns in our way to connect, we are the authors of our lives and we can mould it into something different 🙂

friends-advice

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2014/10/the-3-times-your-friends-are-a