Hey April, welcome!
you know this is my first blog anniversary don’t you? A year ago, I decided to transform myself in order to find true love and a paid job that I love. The wannabe boss, a sort of aggressive figure in my world environment inspired me to put my thoughts down and watch how things go.
And now what?
Have I fulfilled all I was looking for a while ago? Have I transformed some of my wishes? Myself? Neither? All of them?
There is a form of transformation happening, taking different forms.
Has my everyday life changed?
Well, I still don’t have some sort of financial stability.
The wannabee boss kicked me out of the Platform of artistic events, and I didn’t succeed in my funding efforts or job applications during this period. I haven’t moved my stuff out yet, and I am looking for a new working place.
But, I might have a possibility to associate myself with new partners I have just met, Â mmm I don’t know if I can trust them yet.
I am happy to have advanced with my work, and there is a publication project in France for something I have written a while ago, a small publishing house is interested in it.
The love of my life? I have flirted, kissed one or two people, daydreamed with B at the café. I have listened to the almost love confession of H, my ex, currently in the middle of another relationship. No, I am not interested.
There is also a four-year old little boy who has invited me to go on holidays “just the two of us”. I might need to wait fourteen years and see if his offer is still valid.
So, romantically speaking there is progress, but still scope for improvement.
Hmm, I am the love of my life for now, with the possibility to extend this love to another person, the rest of humanity, animal/physical and non physical entities, ….
As to blogging, it has been such a great experience!
So much fun and it gave me the possibility not only to express thoughts and feelings, to keep track of them, but particularly to interact with wonderful and creative co-bloggers!
Somehow, I don’t feel desperate if my X or Y application doesn’t work. In the past, I was really sad, thinking, am I not good enough for them? Should I give up? As if this was my unique chance.
Now I feel more confident. Somehow, I will make it. I can apply to x and y, learn where I want to go and not just throw applications for positions which don’t mean much to me. And feel that I have a bigger project and these small steps are intermediate goals, part of a larger picture, not the main purpose.
Happy Birthday April4June6, and thank you for this beautiful adventure!
april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation 