December 31st, 2020- Making space for what is important, day 15- Gratitude

Dear December,

a time to think of the year that passed, and be thankful to still be here, that despite anything, close members of the family are more or less ok, that the Christmas tree is still standing despite the cat attacks, and for much more…

In the middle of everything, I got myself a job with nice co-workers, which is one of the most important things for me… and it is also because good friends advised me and guided me along the way… so yes, 2020 also had its share of extremely important moments to grow …

Looking at the year to come, I still have some debt, I still need to help out with a parent with ill health, and I still feel I haven’t a “home” for myself, since I have been wondering between two countries at least in the last three years… some of my clothes are in London, others in Paris, and some in my suitcase because there was not enough place in my parents’ closet.

On the other hand, isn’t this a sense of freedom? I can take my suitcase and go…

How about love?

Wonderful friends, parents, and quasi-pets (I am their “godmother’ since they aren’t exactly mine).

So far, so good.

And next year?

Next year will be tomorrow.

A BIG THANK YOU to 2020 for the challenges but also the tools to face them and make it through, and lots of LOVE to all who struggle to all who don’t know the way, to all of us!

We can make it, just hang in there another moment, another hour, things also change for the better!!!

https://images.app.goo.gl/7ZhMMTqMQ9sxcWso8

December 30, 2020- Making space for what is important, day 14- preparing a zoom party for New Year’s Eve

Hello December,

with the year nearly over, I found myself in a melancholic mood, thinking of things or people or situations I would like to have, or be with, and I don’t.

Was this an excuse for neglecting my hair for some time? The next step was feeling grumpy and starting to criticise two of my friends. That means I really am in a bad mood and look for someone to take the blame. Then I scolded the cat. Then I thought, wait a second: is it worth it?

Is it really time to become “the Grinch” from the homonymous film?

Yes, I have indulged myself to cakes and turkey, and I felt lazy, so the workaholic in me has started the criticism; it was like: “why haven’t you finished the chapter you have promised, neither corrected the copies for your teaching job?”, and then “look at you, what kind of a lockdown degradation is this?” or “why did you push men away with your attitude”? Actually, when I wrote down these critics, I realised they are not very coherent. This reveals their lack of pertinence and the BS they involve.

Wake up April! I told myself. Have your hair done, and prepare a nice réveillon or “réveillon de la Saint Sylvestre”, or New Year’s Eve! Take care of your surroundings and open up a Marie Condo book, to make Santa feel welcome!

https://konmari.com

December 26-Making space for what is important: the permission to have fun no matter what!

Hello December,

Christmas is here, and I feel as if I need permission to do some things for myself. Like, to buy something I, kind of, like. It seemed as if my life’s mission was to make my parents happy and I didn’t succeed in that. I have started an artistic career with ups and downs and many times in the past, I have relied on them. When they needed my help, I wasn’t able to give all the help they needed without feeling overwhelmed. The lockdown brought me back in my hometown and my parents’ home and accentuated this feeling.

It is difficult to acknowledge that I am doing the best I can and despite of my success, I have the right to feel ok with it no matter what.

I have the right to be happy, in the NOW despite of anything. The right to be around people who are loving in a generous and balanced way and to be this kind of person; people who love in a way that allows the other to grow; people who support other people’s happiness without asking you to sacrifice for them; also those who know how to build healthy boundaries between themselves and other people’s expectations.

Something I definitely need to learn because my love life in the past involved someone I wanted to “save” and who ended up hurting me; I understood it doesn’t make sense to try to “help” others if they don’t want to change. And if I don’t change, I will be the accessory of this type of pathology.

TODAY it is ok to be happy for myself, for who I have been and who I am becoming!

I want to create my community of like-minded but diverse people.

I want to travel the world and bring happiness, connect people, work for the world Democracy, Peace and Beauty, Life in the planet!

December 20, 2020-Self Growth as the Goal-Making space for what is important, day 12

Hello December,

yes, Christmas is approaching and lockdown brings me back to my parents’ home as an adult, and it would have almost been my worst nightmare when I was an adolescent, if it hadn’t been worse two years ago. Because two years ago, I had all that, plus, I didn’t have a job.

And still, when I look to pictures two years back, I was smiling and found a way to be happy. And a few years back it felt even worse to fail something. I just decided to continue the effort no matter what.

My point is, despite having had some “wins” in my life, like a good degree, good notes, initiating an artistic network in Paris which brought together important figures, I couldn’t support myself and my relationships sucked.

I have faced situations like finding only a horrid job and being fired from it, or seeing years pass and nothing tangible coming up.

Until I didn’t have any more psychological resources. And then, somehow I got them back. My faith also.

SO, even when my material resources were over, and my old world was crumbling under my feet, I had psychological resources and FAITH, not to a particular goal, not to show anyone anything, not to shut up any critic, but to continue looking for a path, learning from other people and not afraid to be wrong if that meant I would keep on learning.

This got me into a job I could support myself with, but where I suffered from bullying and bad work environment. I kept looking and I got a much better one. And finally, had the possibility to resign from something I didn’t want.

So, this lockdown, apart from other things, is a good time to readjust goals and decide what makes my heart sing today, instead of reaching goals for anyone else.

And this happens when SELF GROWTH becomes the goal, independent of age, instead of reaching any specific goal. How can I keep learning and developing my full potential as a human being? How to balance relationships with decisions on our own personal path?

To be continued…

December 3rd, 2020- Making space for what is important, day 11-Christmas is coming

Hello December,

do you have any advice about how to stay cool and zen when someone in our household has a health issue and we spend a lot of time in the house?

Has any of your brothers, and sisters, parents, or partners and kids given you this type of experience?

Well, yes, thank you, the best way is to look for a lesson to learn; something good comes out of difficult times, we just need to have our eyes open to see that;

Ok, I will admit there are moments that a significant other’s bad mood gets me, especially because I feel helpless to do anything to help.

Then what?

Should I be absorbed in this spiral?

Do I have a choice?

What if I do have?

What if I focus on something lovely?

The magic of Christmas?

Ok, I was chatting with a divorced neighbour who was telling me he is not into Christmas because there is a lot about loving families, and now he doesn’t have that, it feels even worse;

Is magic true?

Is Santa real?

Hell yes, they are!

Pandemic or not, difficulties or not, all these are teaching us lessons, and Good comes out of bad and painful circumstances;

Magic is in and all around us, every moment when there is suffering, there is also love, life, laughter, and we can invite it in our life.

How?

Believing that something beautiful is about to arrive, and smiling

The Art of Attracting Magic into your Life

https://exploringyourmind.com/the-art-of-attracting-magic-into-your-life/

December 1st, 2020- Making place for what is important, day 10

Welcome December!

I went out for a walk this morning, it was kind of cold, with a cold wind lifting up the fallen leaves; and yet, this weather has a lot of energy, there is something to expect… in the air… something interesting…

So, yes, I make space for a nice cup of coffee with cinnamon and chocolate, and then I listened to some music and danced…

Not a lot of people is circulating, and we are wearing masks;

I fed the cat who now lives in the garden, Felix…

And then back to prepare online meetings…

It is great to be able to work from home at a time when work is not easy…

But more than that, I would like to prepare for something magical to happen, by making space for what is important on a daily basis;

I am writing a few lines in my new novel and also think of starting something in English that I would be able to share 🙂