April 24, 2015- Escapade to the C么te d’Azur

 

Dear April,

my friend from Antwerp, the Northern part of Belgium came for a couple of days and already left. My mission was to help him out find a beautiful spot for a summer-house in the South of France. I would have picked up some unknown place at the Hautes Alpes, but he was obsessed with the C么te d’Azur. After all, why not choose a classic? If Picasso, among others loved this area, why not my friend?

We walked and walked, drove here and there, asked questions and answered others. Finally, he decided Saint Tropez is the spot he likes. But he will come back again with his family during the summer to visit again the properties offered.

In any case, it was a beautiful excuse to see again spots I am familiar with and always make my day when I am there. At a moment when they are so much quieter than in the summer time 馃檪

It was important for my spring break to fill my eyes and mind with beautiful images, smell the sea and the spring flowers, watch the coast line. I could put myself in the place of my friend and imagine it is I who is deciding for a summer-house. It is a sort of commitment. Like a marriage, I guess. You pick this place and you decide to create a more permanent bond.

To dedicate part of your time. Other places can be more beautiful or exciting. You can still visit them and never return. But once you pick up a place you call your own, it becomes a center of gravity, pulling you there 馃檪

https://i0.wp.com/location-aventure-extreme.fr/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/st-tropez.jpg

http://location-aventure-extreme.fr/region-saint-tropez/

April 17, 2015- Trekking and clearing my mind

Dear April,

thanks to the nice weather you have offered us, I started a new habit in my hometown: a morning trek, or to be more honest, a walk in the beautiful paths nearby.

Don’t imagine anything very sporty: it is a half an hour, or an hour walk, every morning, the last few days. Looking at the beautiful flowers, grass and trees feels so very inspiring!

I like to take nobody else than myself in this brief walk. I barely nod to people or animals which might cross my path. This is a moment to observe and clear my mind from all sort of clutter: thoughts which crowded my mind in my last Parisian days. A spring break’s objective is to bring me closer to spring, and let new ideas emerge!

Sometimes I bring my iPod for some music, or something inspirational. Other times, nothing at all. I keep walking, listening to the birds, smelling the earth and flowers.

Something else I would like to do is to refresh my driving skills. I don’t have a car in Paris, but it is another “physical activity” that helps me feel different. A friend has promised to give me some free lessons in hers, so we will see what will come out of it 馃檪

In any case, I realize that I need more play and fun, so the spring break is here to help me change perspective and format my hard drive 馃檪

http://www.chanteoiseau-provence.com/accueil-gites-forcalquier/

LE printemps en Provence

April 14, 2015- Looking for beautiful spots in the South of France

April hello,

I was checking beautiful places because a friend of mine from Flanders, the Northern part of Belgium will come to visit and will look for a beautiful place to buy in the South of France.

I don’t know his budget, but it is difficult to decide between the “Hautes Alpes” and the C么te d’Azur. It depends on the person’s mood and taste I guess. To me, most places are beautiful, I would have a hard time to pick up just one.

In any case this will be a nice break to help me see my priorities right now.

I am not an expert on property, but I can help as an interpreter and also know people and places here and there 馃檪

http://www.gites-de-france.com/location-vacances-Aiglun-Gite-Gite-Du-Levant-04G11317.html

April 13, 2015- Spring Break in my hometown, South of France

Dear April

with all the soul-searching and intrigues of March, I decided to take a spring break from Paris and go visit my hometown in the South of France. No, I don’t tell you exactly where it is. You know it is not by the sea but not too far if you go by car. It is a small town, people know more or less each other, and most younger generations have been to Paris or here and there for work. Unless those who work in tourism in the broader area.

I arrived at night, and right now I continue my Parisian habits, I took my computer to the neighborhood caf茅 and write a few words. The weather is beautiful and I am to go for a pique nique with some family members and friends.

It is a great joy and a challenge to meet family and old friends who know you since you were on diapers.

http://vers-le-vent.blogspot.gr/2013/09/lumieres-du-printemps.html

April 7, 2015- Self Esteem and the smile of the Cheshire Cat

Oh dear April,

have you doubted about yourself? Saying maybe March is the first month of Spring, and then May brings the roses, etc, what am i doing in the middle? No recognition at all?

Never thought of it? So much the better…

Well today I was kind of obsessed with the idea of the evaluation of my last project. It will be sent to me in a … month.

I started thinking of the worst scenarios. Maybe it is bad. Maybe my enemies in Paris, no, France, have come together and decided my ideas are not at all interesting, original, comprehensible. A shame to all the illustrious artists ever breathed in France and abroad.

Maybe they found my project arrogant, shameless, a sort of blasphemy to … whatever should ever be respected!

How could I face this mountain of imaginary criticism?

Well, in the past, I have been traumatized with the idea that I am alone with my little flame.

A flame which has been judged for not being clear, beautiful, possible to communicate.

I have angered people because I disagreed and fired back. I have faced haters. And although it is not something that happens to me every day, the memory of it is enough to make me deadly scared.

After all, it is as if they were saying: “April you are not accepted as a member of the artistic community of Paris. Your work is not worthy enough for… this important funding, and you may not hold this important position at this xxx museum”.

I am saying: look here is what I do, it is just a little bit different, let me join in and play with you.

I am between the desire for a community that will encourage me and the need to be creative in an independent way.

There are different forms of evaluations here and there.

How do we learn from them without getting destroyed every time we go through the process?

Maybe when we see ourselves as something much bigger than the work we present.

Our work might be our “child”, but still, we can remodel it and create new ones, all of them lovely, some more wonderful than others!

So, dear evaluators, you might criticize or not accept my work, but I am so much more, and I can still smile to you with it like the cat of the Cheshire Cat in Alice’s wonderland!

Tennel Cheshire proof.png

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheshire_Cat

April 6, 2015- Dreaming of a skunk :-)

Dear April,

have you ever dreamt of a skunk? That is what happened to me last night. It was quiet a big one, the size of a medium size dog, beautiful, and I was holding him playfully in my arms. We were best friends, so to speak. I wasn’t afraid of him and he seemed pretty comfortable with me.

Now, I think that the last time I have heard of these animal is back to school, or in children’s cartoons, years ago. Not recently anyway.

So I googled the animal, and a lot of nice ideas came up. To begin with, it seems that there is a symbolism of skunks. I will adopt the information which I like better. So a skunk seems to be related to:

  • Defense
  • Prudence
  • Protection
  • Confidence
  • Awareness
  • Pacification
  • Effectiveness
  • Good judgement
  • Skunks seem to be聽naturally buoyant. They go through life with a calm assurance, and exude a peaceful energy that is extremely attractive to others.

Do we have “totems animals”? I wouldn’t know what to say.

Neither do I know how I ended up being good friends with the beautiful skunk in my dream. But it was fun and I definitely need to integrate these qualities to my day-to-day interactions.

The Easter holiday is over and tomorrow I will be in the middle of negotiations, new projects and professional beginnings 馃檪

Striped Skunk.jpg

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-symbolism-skunk.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skunk

April 5, 2015- Happy Easter with the best of chocolate in Paris

Happy Easter April!

I picked up the photo of this wonderful “vitrine” all in chocolate to celebrate the day. If you want to learn more about Easter chocolate bunnies and eggs in Paris, check out the following site.

The truth is a lot of artists have worked to give their best, it is difficult to make a choice 馃槈

http://petitsbeguins.fr/lapins-de-paques-2015/

http://petitsbeguins.fr/top-5-vitrines-chocolatiers-paques-2014/Michel Cluizel - Vitrine P芒ques Chocolat - Petits B茅guins

 

April 3, 2015: Rainy Friday in Paris, perfect for a film noir

Hello dear April,

half of the people in Paris are coughing and sneezing again! We thought it was behind us, but no. As a result, I already have one romantic rendezvous to reschedule.

So, what did I do with my cold? I stayed at home today and worked a little bit, took naps and ate some chocolate -it helps with everything.

A friend of mine, in the same state, suggested watching films would be the very thing to do and she mentioned “Laura”, the film noir of Otto Preminger, released in 1944. 聽I have already watched Laura and fallen in love with the ambiance and the story. The great thing in Paris is that you get to see old films at the cinema, all your favorites are projected now and then. It must have been in “Action Gitanes”.

But for now, the film online will do.

Laura (1944) is one of the most stylish, elegant, moody, and witty classic film noirs ever made with an ensemble cast of characters”.

Laura, as a character is a young, beautiful, intelligent young woman who wants to create her own life. She is a professional and single. Fantasy and reality, stereotypes, illusions, male and female psychology are mixed up with passion, murder, love, lust and envy.

Some of the men who “love” Laura, are looking for a possession, or to take advantage of her. She finally makes the best possible choice, I think.

A film that I can watch again and again.

Is it still complicated to be a professional and a woman who makes her choices?

I think in a way, yes. Mentors, friendenemies, wannabe bosses, and all sorts of suitors get in the way.

But if Laura balances all that, and finds her way out in 1944, I think we can also make it happen in 2015.

http://www.filmsite.org/laur.html

April 2nd 2015- Love: theories and realities

Dear April,

did you overhear me last night talking to a friend about relationships? At this small Parisian bar? Oh, you were busy raining on us most of the day so you didn’t. No worries, I will fill you in. Two perspectives emerged:

Perspective聽no 1.

It comes from the generation of our parents, who have happened to experience successful relationships. Or so it seems. They have met young, it was their first important relationship, got married, had one or two children and lived happily ever after.

To them, when you see the person for you, you know right away. So, seeing for example their child separate from a relationship raises some questions. “Why did it take you three years to realize this was not the person for you? You probably felt it all along. So why start the relationship? Is it because you have a difficulty to discern what you feel and what you want”?

In that case, this is a problem. Some disconnection with our inner self.

As if for example you are hungry and start eating. At some point, the brain is supposed to get the message that you have got enough energy and you can do something else. If there is a disconnexion, you can go on eating three main dishes and three desserts before the information arrives.

Could it be the same thing with relationships?

And in that case, what causes the lack of communication with our inner self? Fear of being alone? Not trusting our gut feeling? Not having exercised our intuition?

Perspective no 2:

There could be another variation. Having a defective “program” which coordinates the whole process.

For example, wanting to “save” someone with our love.

Looking back to the first two men I had fallen in love with, I realized I wanted to “rescue” them with my love. They seemed talented but miserable, or something equivalent.

Was I trying to feel I deserved love by doing this? Did I try to change them? Probably.

So it didn’t work. After all, nobody asked me to take up this mission.

We left the bar thinking about a third perspective:

Why not try a third perspective and feel good with another human being?

Starting from ourselves because we deserve love unconditionally.

http://www.boldsky.com/relationship/beyond-love/2012/types-of-love-relationships-029739.html

April 1rst 2015: 1rst blog Anniversary!

Hey April, welcome!

you know this is my first blog anniversary don’t you? A year ago, I decided to transform myself in order to find true love and a paid job that I love. The wannabe boss, a sort of aggressive figure in my world environment inspired me to put my thoughts down and watch how things go.

And now what?

Have I fulfilled all I was looking for a while ago? Have I transformed some of my wishes? Myself? Neither? All of them?

There is a form of transformation happening, taking different forms.

Has my everyday life changed?

Well, I still don’t have some sort of financial stability.

The wannabee boss kicked me out of the Platform of artistic events, and I didn’t succeed in my funding efforts or job applications during this period. I haven’t moved my stuff out yet, and I am looking for a new working place.

But, I might have a possibility to associate myself with new partners I have just met, 聽mmm I don’t know if I can trust them yet.

I am happy to have advanced with my work, and there is a publication project in France for something I have written a while ago, a small publishing house is interested in it.

The love of my life? I have flirted, kissed one or two people, daydreamed with B at the caf茅. I have listened to the almost love confession of H, my ex, currently in the middle of another relationship. No, I am not interested.

There is also a four-year old little boy who has invited me to go on holidays “just the two of us”. I might need to wait fourteen years and see if his offer is still valid.

So, romantically speaking there is progress, but still scope for improvement.

Hmm, I am the love of my life for now, with the possibility to extend this love to another person, the rest of humanity, animal/physical and non physical entities, ….

As to blogging, it has been such a great experience!

So much fun and it gave me the possibility not only to express thoughts and feelings, to keep track of them, but particularly to interact with wonderful and creative co-bloggers!

Somehow, I don’t feel desperate if my X or Y application doesn’t work. In the past, I was really sad, thinking, am I not good enough for them? Should I give up? As if this was my unique chance.

Now I feel more confident. Somehow, I will make it. I can apply to x and y, learn where I want to go and not just throw applications for positions which don’t mean much to me. And feel that I have a bigger project and these small steps are intermediate goals, part of a larger picture, not the main purpose.

Happy Birthday April4June6, and thank you for this beautiful adventure!