Wonder Woman

November 18, 2018- Bounce Back Big, year update I

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Hello November,

so this is my honest last year’s update I as to work and work:

I took a risk, financial, professional, I worked long hours and it doesn’t look to have paid: I wonder, is there something I could have done differently to have a better result?

It felt as if I tried things and nothing worked out: especially in my area, I have started collaborations with high-profile people, but they supported my idea reluctantly and then when I wanted a sign of support they vanished.

I completed a difficult project but I didn’t get the funding.

I worked on the side in a job that was not fulfilling to be able to work on my project.

I suffered in this job.

I loved the project.

What could I have done differently?

Have I knocked at the wrong door?

It’s like making everything for a relationship to work and then it doesn’t and you have to pay for the divorce.

Overall, I felt like I have been working so hard in two directions.

The first, I did it to earn my living in London. I taught some adolescents who were painful, they didn’t appreciate it, and in an institution which gave me an unprepared course to teach. I accepted because I thought I didn’t have a choice and I failed.

The second, the one I liked, my art project with some established galleries. When we didn’t get funded, they removed their support.

The thing is, they didn’t see my project as enough to give them credit personally.

I relied on three or four different people, without giving more importance to the contribution of one of them.

In this case, I liked the idea, but I felt like I had to please people as if I were a slave in the feudal system. And they were never satisfied, believe me.

So, what now?

I need to treat myself with more respect.

I deserve some credit, and my sacrifice even if it didn’t pay materially, at least it should make me realize there must be another way.

Do I give up?

NEVER

September 26 and 27- Bounce Back Big days 9 and 10- by taking a step back

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Hello September,

I have taken a step forward yesterday on seeing that I was good at something I thought I sucked: communicating my ideas to other people in an oral presentation.

Actually, I had the courage to present for people who are experts in the field, and they liked it, although there are always things to work on.

After that, and a meeting with an administration that always takes a lot of energy, I continued with hot chocolate and wandering around London in Covent-Garden. Responsible or not, it seemed like the thing to do. Instead of applying for a job I bought myself a new agenda.

Kind of irresponsible I would say.

Yes, but I kind of needed it.

And I feel like needing a rest today, slow down and do something to reinvigorate myself.

Starting from a fruit smoothie.

And continuing with anything nice

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April 29, 2018- How to turn sadness into creativity

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Hello April,

my spring break involved some challenges on family member’s health problems, and here I am, in my hometown, dealing with challenging realities and feelings.

My fears are not only with that, but with the kind of impact it can have into my life. Because, let’s face it, there is some percentage of selfishness in our worry for people close to us.

So, how can I choose a better feeling thought?

To begin with, this experience, helps me put things into perspective. Job insecurity, money or other similar questions are secondary to health.

Then, it’s like, how about feeling I have been struggling in a certain direction without getting into a place where I can say, I have accomplished something I can keep with me.

A place to rest. As if my successes were not stepping-stones.

But is this true?

Not really.

Actually, I have learnt to rebound after pretty challenging situations.

Somehow, I found solutions.

I have become resilient.

Then, let’s face it, security was not my number 1 goal.

A meaningful experience is my goal.

And I feel gratitude towards myself and others, to have worked in this direction.

I feel grateful for my friends standing by me.

I feel grateful for the wonderful job I have been doing.

These are challenging times for everyone. We need to give it our best.

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https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/29/how-to-turn-negative-emot_n_4158113.html