November 26, 2018- Love Ourself 30 day ritual, Day 1

Hello November,

while bouncing back, I am starting a Love Ourself 30-day ritual, from today. So, that means doing one thing a day that shows appreciation.

Good Nutrition, taking care of our body and beautifying it, exercise, loving relationship to oneself expressed in concrete actions.

First things first, I realize I need a body lotion because I have forgotten to buy one, and yes, my skin needs it.

Also, being relaxed is a MUST.

I happen to have some things bothering me, and I am losing my calm from time to time.

How do I react to this?

To begin with, problems or impasse are not usually what they look like when you take a distance.

How to do this?

Going for a walk, observing people, animals, trees.

How am I doing in the job sector?

It looks good, though I will have confirmation after December 13.

I also need to answer if I can commit to a new home.

Right now my finances are a bit tight.

What do I do in this case?

Pray.

And go around everywhere.

And talk to anyone who might have an idea.

And change to a growth mindset.

After all, the only reason for being where I am will be to continue growing.

And I also need a moisturizer for my brain

 

 

 

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November 18, 2018- Bounce Back Big, year update I

Hello November,

so this is my honest last year’s update I as to work and work:

I took a risk, financial, professional, I worked long hours and it doesn’t look to have paid: I wonder, is there something I could have done differently to have a better result?

It felt as if I tried things and nothing worked out: especially in my area, I have started collaborations with high-profile people, but they supported my idea reluctantly and then when I wanted a sign of support they vanished.

I completed a difficult project but I didn’t get the funding.

I worked on the side in a job that was not fulfilling to be able to work on my project.

I suffered in this job.

I loved the project.

What could I have done differently?

Have I knocked at the wrong door?

It’s like making everything for a relationship to work and then it doesn’t and you have to pay for the divorce.

Overall, I felt like I have been working so hard in two directions.

The first, I did it to earn my living in London. I taught some adolescents who were painful, they didn’t appreciate it, and in an institution which gave me an unprepared course to teach. I accepted because I thought I didn’t have a choice and I failed.

The second, the one I liked, my art project with some established galleries. When we didn’t get funded, they removed their support.

The thing is, they didn’t see my project as enough to give them credit personally.

I relied on three or four different people, without giving more importance to the contribution of one of them.

In this case, I liked the idea, but I felt like I had to please people as if I were a slave in the feudal system. And they were never satisfied, believe me.

So, what now?

I need to treat myself with more respect.

I deserve some credit, and my sacrifice even if it didn’t pay materially, at least it should make me realize there must be another way.

Do I give up?

NEVER

November 17, 2018- Bounce Back Big Update of 31 days

Hello November,

I started a Bounce Back Big 31 days, trying to do something differently.

I got in touch with mentors and asked questions, I also tried to follow these suggestions:

1. Do the thing you always wanted to do
2. Say what you always wanted to say
3. Feel emotions you never let yourself feel
4. Allow space for discovery and uncertainty in your life
5. When you feel a desire, follow it all the way through
6. Do one thing in the direction of your dreams
7. Express yourself creatively
8. Be vulnerable
9. Take a risk
10. Do something you’ve never done

1. I did small things I wanted, but not something major. For example, I always wanted to ride a horse, or to become an actor, a playwright, a pilot, … but I didn’t really start something major. It felt like I needed to find myself a job

2. I said things I wanted to say, but there are much more, and the thing is how to say them without insulting others, especially when I disagree with something I see

3. I have a range of emotions I don’t allow myself to feel, especially negative ones, should I go there?

4. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life, and I have tried something new in this period

5. I have followed my desire for creation

6. I did one thing in the direction of my dreams, I found a new partner

7. I started a new novel

8.I got vulnerable by telling people some things that hurt me

9. I took many risks (personal, financial, professional, …)

10. I did something I never have done before

🙂

 

November 6, 2018- Bounce Back Big, day 31- What really matters

Hello, November,

Who am I after all? Am I the person who is trying to get somewhere by knocking in closed doors? Or the person who creates change?

An idea, like a baby, needs a village to take care of it. And this village should include people who want it to see grow and prosper.

When I face resistance, I should look for a new place.

I face resistance when I am asking those I was in contact with in the past to accept my new me.

This doesn’t happen because I have changed.

So I am to find people and places who are my new fit.

But do I have the energy for this?

It doesn’t feel good to get a rejection.

Sometimes it’s worse to get a yes from a place you don’t want to be.

It happened to me last year.

So, let’s see where my new project takes me.

And be open enough to read the road signs on my path!

 

October 31, 2018- Bounce Back Big, day 30- Halloween strengths

Dear October,

Happy Halloween by the way! I am to go around with some friend’s kids for treat or trick, close to a neighbourhood where there are a lot of Americans who celebrate decorating their homes 🙂

Before that, I write on my blog 🙂

A blog friend, davidjrogersftw has mentioned that he would like to see me as “to be the star of your life–proud, more confident despite setbacks–that kind of strength”. I couldn’t agree more.

What am I searching? Among other things, I am searching a “home”, where I can live, create and learn with other loving people. To live from my creations.

Up to now, I have changed countries, I had successes and setbacks, and I am jobless right now.

So, this is a concern. And it might include feelings of guilt: “am I doing something wrong”? and “is there something wrong with me”?

In reality, a lot of things can get better. And a lot of things are not exactly my “fault” but have to do with more general trends.

So, how do I feel proud and confident when I consider that I am hiding part of my reality?

When I realize that most people share the same feelings.

And that some of our biggest vulnerabilities are our biggest strengths.