November 16, 2020-Making space for what is important, day 9- or how to find yourself when working from home

Dear November,

yes, I am back in my parents’ home in a small town, at the South of France, in my forties. An idea I would have hated as an adolescent. Nevertheless, COVID19 didn’t exit in my teens, neither online work from home.

So, yes, I find myself here, because I haven’t created yet a family unit of my own, and I am not completely established in London, in a home where my mother is going through the residues of a stroke, with a lot of difficulties.

How do I keep positive and cool when I see her suffer and sometimes accusing me of not having found the way to make her feel good?

I realise, that regardless of the reality of the stroke, this is what most parents ask of their kids, and it is way unjust.

Kids are here for the purpose of life and not to fulfil any particular purpose, I, think. Happiness is growing in certain circumstances, but an active collaboration is required. I know I couldn’t have made her happy if she didn’t find her way to happiness.

So, how is it possible to navigate these waters and to balance between humanity, love but also love for oneself?

Lockdown makes us look inside to find the answers.

Where they were found all the way.

Maybe this is the lockdown’s blessing.

We may realise that a change of perspective is essential for our happiness, and nothing outside will not replace this trip.

Should we take it alone?

No, we need to ask for help, and help is given in many forms 🙂

Asking for help is not a weakness but a strength.

November 15, 2020- Making time for what is important, day 8: Birthday!!!

Hello, November birthday month!

Yes, I planned some time for an online Zoom Birthday party, where my friends could watch me eat a chocolate tarte and have a glass of wine, and I could see them at home…

We had fun, and it was possible to meet from different parts of the world: see of them in Paris, some others in London, in Hamburg, in Mexico City, in Crete… well it wasn’t like any other year but I still enjoyed it!

I even got some flowers with Interflora from friends in London who joined a local flower shop… pandemic and all, they found a way to my door!

Thanks so much! It was amazing!!!

I also found the best tarte au chocolat of the neighbourhood, it was the first time I tried it and definitely not the last!

Well, and all this in the midst of other things happening, but somehow, birthday came and dissipated all the clouds, the wind blew and we shared beautiful moments, memories and everything… Just loved it!!!

I started the day with a so and so mood, but I don’t even want to go back and find the reason why,

Thank you dear friends, … 🙂

November 2nd, 2020-Making time for what is important, day 7

Welcome November, birthday month!

I started the day with fruit juice, exercised, read something and even went to run small family errands while taking a short walk; before emerging myself in my online work environment, my laptop screen.

I was zen before my father came up with a list of things for me to do, urgent, in his view, while I made it clear I could deal with them from Thursday.

I realised I got angry, like feeling nothing is enough for this family to be satisfied in this quasi-adult situation. But why did I get mad after all? Because deep down, I guess, I still wait for my parents approval. Here, there are two choices: either I try to respond to every demand they make, asap. This will not make them happier, it will just make me exhausted and frustted. Or, I can put my limits and give myself an accolade for doing this.

So, my adult self, instead of getting angry with myself should be: well done, girl, this is a way to behave as a quasi adult. The ideal adult wouldn’t gat mad, I guess. She would smile and make a philosophical comment on the fact that we can’t satisfy everyone all the time.

What if nobody likes us that way? Well, we need at least to make sure we give us a vote, so that will make one person. And if a second, or a third one comes, so much the better.

So, yes, April, you did great. You are a lovable, inter-dependent woman, who knows when to take a break with a cup of coffee in the sun, (it’s autumn so we should make the best of it) and when to think that x or y is an emergency.

And for this, I grant you a piece of 85 percent sugar, dark chocolate 🙂