yes, I am ready for an update since the month of April 2014, the beginning of this blog. What were my objectives and what has happened?
The idea was to transform myself in order to reach important goals that can contribute -I think- to my happiness:
a. find true love (and be found by it).
b. get a real job that I love (meaning getting paid enough to live and …enjoy art, fashion, traveling, offering gifts, having a luxurious home, etc) (https://april4june6.wordpress.com/about/).
Now, if I want to be honest with myself, it would seem as if I haven’t accomplished my goals, at least not completely. But it is important to acknowledge the progress I have made:
A. In terms of true love, I found myself lovable, and try to live up to a true love of me, which is a way to love other people also.
Writing a blog, is a positive action, it has helped my emotions to unfold. So it weighs in the balance, on the side of true love, I would say.
I know you will tell me, come on, April, be more specific: are you on a relationship with another human being, a man right now? Mmm, not exactly. I have dated someone though during this period of time.
I still have an imaginary crush on B, the guy I occasionally meet at the café. But our romance -which could be one-sided- has not advanced more than the occasional greeting kiss on the cheek (la “bise”). And we have been in the presence of a whole bunch of people.
Being in love is essential to me. B is a source of inspiration, but it could be interesting to have more interaction or to choose another romantic interest. Varying a bit the cafés I go to, might be helpful 🙂
B. In terms of work, I decided two things:
a. to be my own Boss. This was a big decision, and I feel proud for taking it. I have a new artistic project I am attached to, and I want to see it materialize.
b. my second decision is to do everything it takes for a position I have in mind, in the artistic world. It combines a lot of things I really like.
Ok, I have to admit that during this period I kind of got “fired” by the wannabe boss. Kind of, because he wasn’t paying me anyway.
The projects I had submitted for funding last April and passed the first evaluation in June, was not accepted in the end. Actually, it would involve leaving Paris, so, I might not have wanted this to happen in reality.
My spirits were occasionally low and that was the period I was daydreaming instead of answering emails or writing a report. It is communicating what I have done, emailing, that I am not very eager to do. But, I don’t come up as very professional and efficient that way, despite the good work that has been done.
So have I transformed? I am in a process of transformation.
Have I reached my goals? I have reached intermediate, but very important goals. I am on the way of accomplishing these goals and I keep walking!
In the end, I think that walking in the direction of a goal, or a dream, not only transforms me, but also my dream.