October 19: Bounce Back Big, day 24 – broaden my scope

Hello October,

Friday is here, and I am back 🙂

I continue my Bounce Back Big journal, although I missed writing for a week;

What on … have I been doing?

I have advanced in my projects, so there is something collaborative that I put together, I found help to polish my CV and I might have resolved some of my practical issues.

Still, some ideas are on the basis of a potential, and I probably need to decide myself what is the absolute priority:

The priority, is to continue developing my creative project.

I need the help of other talented people for this.

But I also need the right environment, with the culture that promotes this type of activities.

Is it London?

I need to broaden my scope in the world, if I don’t want to repeat what happened to me in Paris. I was trying so desperately to fit in, desperately because my working culture is different, and I knew I didn’t really want to give up my creativity for this.

So?

I need to keep my eyes open

Starting from an action today.

What is up in other continents for example?

Résultat de recherche d'images pour "broaden scope"

 

 

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October 10, 2018- Bounce Back Big, Day 23- You can see the essential with your heart

Hello October,

I found myself at a reception with people who had refused my job application, people who know me and seemed to like me.

At a certain point, I addressed one of them with a question: why does x new building has to be ugly?

He kind of took it personally, getting defensive. As if I was accusing him of responsibility.

I answered that maybe functionality or something else is the priority.

Thinking back at the scene, I realize that this dialogue is more than what it looked like.

I still hold kind of grudge because these people didn’t help me. When I was asking in a critical way, it was as if I was asking this person: why didn’t you support me?

And he feels a bit guilty, so it’s like, it wasn’t all me making the decision.

People can speak up words, but sometimes, what they really say is different.

Saying that, I also realize that I can come out as a bit aggressive when I feel wronged.

Should I stay in the vicinity of these people? Or forget it and go another way?

Hmm, it certainly doesn’t pay to be around just to be around.

To begin with, holding a grudge is only bad for me.

Feeling hurt could make us aggressive to others or towards ourselves.

How do we get over this feeling to focus on our creation?

By being self-compassionate:

Sometimes, not succeeding in something is the best thing.

That doesn’t mean we are not good, or that the others are better.

It could mean that this is not our “niche”, the right place to be.

It’s like insisting in being love by a person who doesn’t give back.

Why not try with another?

Open up our scope?

Open our eyes to see?

And as the “Little Prince” would say, “you can see what is essential only with your heart”.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

http://mentalfloss.com/article/64148/12-charming-facts-about-little-prince

 

October 8 and 9- Bounce big days 21 and 22- Life as a hop on hop off bus

Hello October,

I am looking at my posts since I decided to Bounce Back, and I need to congratulate myself for doing a very good job.

I have come back to London, overcome, or almost a feeling of sadness due to family issues back to France, financial and others.

At the same time, I catch myself here and there, feeling a bit down, tired or overwhelmed. So I need to boost myself a bit more.

Eat well. – More fruit and better breakfast in the morning

Ask for help on practical questions that get on the way.

What if we use the metaphor of a hop on hop off bus for our lives? Let’s say that the bus is our inner self, and maybe the people we are connected with: some hop on and hop off during our life time.

There are beautiful things to visit, we can hop off ourselves and then hop on again with more energy and dreams.

What happens if we have an unpleasant or difficult experience somewhere? A waiter is insulting, we don’t like what we experience? We can hop on again and take the time to digest the experience.

Something new is coming our way.

Because actually, we are on the move.

Constantly.

The earth is moving and we move with it!

So whatever is bad, will pass.

Some good things pass also.

But others will take their place.

And yes, we can even take a nap on the bus!

October 5-7 2018- Bounce Back Big day 18 to 20: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

Hello October,

so, I decided to do what I would do if I had resolvedall the issues troubling me, meaning, go out with friends and go to the cinema. It has been a while I haven’t really been in an actual public cinema with a group of friends; I don’t consider watching films from my tablet to be equivalent. It doesn’t have any contact with real human beings.

Apart from that, looking at my CV, has given me mixed feelings: parts where I have suffered from setbacks, that I have tried not to show.

And yet, especially when it comes to issues like harassment, not talking is like being ashamed of something on behalf of the person who has harmed you.

That doesn’t make sense.

It’s not good either to spent all the time consumated in hate or revenge thoughts.

Time is valuable.

SO?

I think that my CV, like anybody’s CV should include lessons learnt.

And to be proud of who we have become in the process.

October 3 and 4 2018- Bounce Back Big, day 16 and 17- Act in faith and allow things to happen

Hello October dear,

no, champaign and proseco is not the best way to relax and get up full of energy! I was invited by my flatmate who holds much better her liquor than me, and trust me, no.

So, I go back to my list of things:

I have contacted people I wasn’t in touch with, but still, I also need to follow their advice or suggestions.

I also know I need ot keep on at my work instead of making the looking for positions all I am doing.

How about having fun?

How about getting more energy?

Eating better?

It’s 10.20 and some fruit might be good instead of just latte.

And then? Then some granola probably.

And a lot of faith that things will get well, in the best possible way

Allowing to unfold, without judgement for myself and others:

By the way, I run into this blogpost, which is great:

http://www.betterself.sg/2017/10/allow-life-to-unfold/

Allowing

All you have to do is to allow things to unfold. Here are 10 ways to let life start unfolding:

  1. Do the thing you always wanted to do
  2. Say what you always wanted to say
  3. Feel emotions you never let yourself feel
  4. Allow space for discovery and uncertainty in your life
  5. When you feel a desire, follow it all the way through
  6. Do one thing in the direction of your dreams
  7. Express yourself creatively
  8. Be vulnerable
  9. Take a risk
  10. Do something you’ve never done

October 1st and 2nd, 2018- Bounce Back Big days 14 and 15-

Welcome October,

I am in the middle of this, and I still feel in the twilight zone, having tried different approaches and breathing in and out every time I get stressed up.

So, what to do?

I have tried connecting, and I have got advice going into different directions, which requires some changes. And these changes seem to require time.

I have been here before.

A friend of mine noticed I have been stressing up now and then.

He is right.

I somehow found myself here and there in some type of critical situation.

Am I doing it to avoid facing other issues?

Maybe.

Am I the only one in this situation?

Hell, no.

This has something to do with where we stand.

Is there a way forward?

Apparently, in the direction opposing the direction of whatever the problem is.

In this direction are the things I enjoy: writing and creating.

I also have projects.

I have talents.

I am a brilliant person.

I have nice eyebrows.

So?

So, I deserve a feeling of security coming from my basic needs met.

And so it has happened in some way until now.

For most of them.

Something to be grateful about.

Yes, I am a rebel at heart.

I want things to go my way, which is the creative way.

Are there places encouraging it?

Should I create one myself?

I realize that I had some major setbacks in my path, but every time, there was something coming up which kept me on track.

That’s how I ended up in London, for better I hope.

should I stay or should I go?

Let’s have a cup of tea 😉

is tea good for you, benefits of green tea, benefits of black tea, benefits of matcha

September 28-30, 2018- Bounce Back Big days 11-13

Hello September,

you want to know if I have been doing something to go in the direction of my dreams?

Well, on Friday, I send an application, not with much conviction, to be honest.

On Saturday, I contacted a friend who is a coach: I thought I needed an outside opinion.

I am waiting for the budget to see if I can afford it right now.

How about some psychological support?

I would take some, with pleasure: as long as it’s free and quality.

So?

Any news?

After taking half the day off, I started to panick.

Then, I read about being master of my emotions and thoughts.

It’s the only way I can go forward. But on the other side, accepting and feeling compassionate of myself for not always being on TOP, it’s also important.

Yes, I am a weak human being.

I am afraid, and I don’t know if I have succeeded my goals.

Plus, I have put some family members in danger with my big projects, I asked them to support.

So, now what?

If I start punishing myself, is this going to help?

No.

Yesterday, when I was wondering in central London, feeling bored, I realized something.

I might invent some problems because I don’t want to deal with a basic question:

Where can I do something creative, feel at home and live from it with similar-minded people ever after?

Maybe there is one way to find about that:

If I suggest something that others might also want to follow 😉

If not, at least I will feel free to do what I want

September 26 and 27- Bounce Back Big days 9 and 10- by taking a step back

Hello September,

I have taken a step forward yesterday on seeing that I was good at something I thought I sucked: communicating my ideas to other people in an oral presentation.

Actually, I had the courage to present for people who are experts in the field, and they liked it, although there are always things to work on.

After that, and a meeting with an administration that always takes a lot of energy, I continued with hot chocolate and wandering around London in Covent-Garden. Responsible or not, it seemed like the thing to do. Instead of applying for a job I bought myself a new agenda.

Kind of irresponsible I would say.

Yes, but I kind of needed it.

And I feel like needing a rest today, slow down and do something to reinvigorate myself.

Starting from a fruit smoothie.

And continuing with anything nice

image

 

September 25, 2018-Bounce Back Big day 8

Hello September,

morning coffee out, and getting back to the BBB list, or how not to sell myself short: doing something that is going in the direction of my dreams not that of others;

What would that be?

Hmm, I need to contact the people at the gallery I am to be associated to;

how about discovering something new?

I just participated on a Facebook debate on the meaning of being a hero.

Does it count?

So, contacting a new person and doing something new and exciting!

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/30-new-things-today.html

September 23, 2018- Bounce Back Big day 6 and 7-Sunday blues and Monday Motivation

Hello September,

I applied for one or two positions, decided to camp at a café and write, but the blues were here to haunt me.

All these things, people who don’t like my behaviour, insecurity, instability and insanity: how to find some space away from it and have some fun?

Because if we don’t have fun, what on earth are we doing here?

The birds sing, the bees whatever, the … I need to find the song that explains it all very well.

In other words, first we need some fun and then, we can be responsible.

Or maybe I say so because I don’t have children to take to school and who would suffer malnutrition if I forget about feeding them.

A friend of mine told me today that those who can forget practicalities are the children. Anybody else, even the richest on this planet have to deal with them. So, if you grow up you get attacked by the practical side of life.