November 17, 2018- Bounce Back Big Update of 31 days

Hello November,

I started a Bounce Back Big 31 days, trying to do something differently.

I got in touch with mentors and asked questions, I also tried to follow these suggestions:

  1. Do the thing you always wanted to do
  2. Say what you always wanted to say
  3. Feel emotions you never let yourself feel
  4. Allow space for discovery and uncertainty in your life
  5. When you feel a desire, follow it all the way through
  6. Do one thing in the direction of your dreams
  7. Express yourself creatively
  8. Be vulnerable
  9. Take a risk
  10. Do something you’ve never done

1. I did small things I wanted, but not something major. For example, I always wanted to ride a horse, or to become an actor, a playwright, a pilot, … but I didn’t really start something major. It felt like I needed to find myself a job

2. I said things I wanted to say, but there are much more, and the thing is how to say them without insulting others, especially when I disagree with something I see

3. I have a range of emotions I don’t allow myself to feel, especially negative ones, should I go there?

4. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life, and I have tried something new in this period

5. I have followed my desire for creation

6. I did one thing in the direction of my dreams, I found a new partner

7. I started a new novel

8.I got vulnerable by telling people some things that hurt me

9. I took many risks (personal, financial, professional, …)

10. I did something I never have done before

🙂

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October 22, 2018- Bounce Back Big day 25, unfolding

Hello October,

I have presented a draft of my idea, and I caught myself stressing up: fear of judgement, of not doing a perfect of whatever, of not being accepted.

I stopped there, it usually comes as a bodily sensation, and I put some music, something uplifting and the type of thing I can dance with, and breathe!

After all, who cares? Millions of years later, no one will remember that part.

It will not be included in any historical account.

So, why bother now?

And then that’s why the word feedback has been created: “feed’ has to do with food, kind of positive. So giving back something. It’s like a present.

You give something.

The other person gives something back.

We exchange ideas and discuss.

We become richer and more knowledgeable.

This is a process.

So breath and let the process unfold April!

October 19: Bounce Back Big, day 24 – broaden my scope

Hello October,

Friday is here, and I am back 🙂

I continue my Bounce Back Big journal, although I missed writing for a week;

What on … have I been doing?

I have advanced in my projects, so there is something collaborative that I put together, I found help to polish my CV and I might have resolved some of my practical issues.

Still, some ideas are on the basis of a potential, and I probably need to decide myself what is the absolute priority:

The priority, is to continue developing my creative project.

I need the help of other talented people for this.

But I also need the right environment, with the culture that promotes this type of activities.

Is it London?

I need to broaden my scope in the world, if I don’t want to repeat what happened to me in Paris. I was trying so desperately to fit in, desperately because my working culture is different, and I knew I didn’t really want to give up my creativity for this.

So?

I need to keep my eyes open

Starting from an action today.

What is up in other continents for example?

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October 5-7 2018- Bounce Back Big day 18 to 20: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

Hello October,

so, I decided to do what I would do if I had resolvedall the issues troubling me, meaning, go out with friends and go to the cinema. It has been a while I haven’t really been in an actual public cinema with a group of friends; I don’t consider watching films from my tablet to be equivalent. It doesn’t have any contact with real human beings.

Apart from that, looking at my CV, has given me mixed feelings: parts where I have suffered from setbacks, that I have tried not to show.

And yet, especially when it comes to issues like harassment, not talking is like being ashamed of something on behalf of the person who has harmed you.

That doesn’t make sense.

It’s not good either to spent all the time consumated in hate or revenge thoughts.

Time is valuable.

SO?

I think that my CV, like anybody’s CV should include lessons learnt.

And to be proud of who we have become in the process.

September 28-30, 2018- Bounce Back Big days 11-13

Hello September,

you want to know if I have been doing something to go in the direction of my dreams?

Well, on Friday, I send an application, not with much conviction, to be honest.

On Saturday, I contacted a friend who is a coach: I thought I needed an outside opinion.

I am waiting for the budget to see if I can afford it right now.

How about some psychological support?

I would take some, with pleasure: as long as it’s free and quality.

So?

Any news?

After taking half the day off, I started to panick.

Then, I read about being master of my emotions and thoughts.

It’s the only way I can go forward. But on the other side, accepting and feeling compassionate of myself for not always being on TOP, it’s also important.

Yes, I am a weak human being.

I am afraid, and I don’t know if I have succeeded my goals.

Plus, I have put some family members in danger with my big projects, I asked them to support.

So, now what?

If I start punishing myself, is this going to help?

No.

Yesterday, when I was wondering in central London, feeling bored, I realized something.

I might invent some problems because I don’t want to deal with a basic question:

Where can I do something creative, feel at home and live from it with similar-minded people ever after?

Maybe there is one way to find about that:

If I suggest something that others might also want to follow 😉

If not, at least I will feel free to do what I want

September 26 and 27- Bounce Back Big days 9 and 10- by taking a step back

Hello September,

I have taken a step forward yesterday on seeing that I was good at something I thought I sucked: communicating my ideas to other people in an oral presentation.

Actually, I had the courage to present for people who are experts in the field, and they liked it, although there are always things to work on.

After that, and a meeting with an administration that always takes a lot of energy, I continued with hot chocolate and wandering around London in Covent-Garden. Responsible or not, it seemed like the thing to do. Instead of applying for a job I bought myself a new agenda.

Kind of irresponsible I would say.

Yes, but I kind of needed it.

And I feel like needing a rest today, slow down and do something to reinvigorate myself.

Starting from a fruit smoothie.

And continuing with anything nice

image

 

September 21, 2018- Bounce Back Big day 4- feeling sleepy and acting despite it

Dear September,

I have two options: deal with my mess, which seems to increase exponentially, or to work towards an issue that will fix this mess. I have followed the second strategy, pretending not to see the foundations eroding… hoping in a crazy way that when the old will collapse the new will be strong enough to support me…

Am I right or am I right?

This kind of strategy can only be winning because there is nothing to come back to.

So today I continued a bit in both fronts:

I met with a friend, and I also met colleagues, bank employees and civil servants.

Some to ask expansion questions, as to how to enable my megalo projects to flourish.

Others for boring but essential every day staff: how do I get myself out of a rut?

While I prepare for an interview.

In the meanwhile, I take a cup of tea and I wait for the sleepiness to evaporate.

Have I done anything new?

Yes, I have contacted much more people than usual.

June 3rd, 2018 and writing a Personal Development Book

Dear June,

I started April to June, to transform myself into the butterfly I know I am. Am I this butterfly? Are my feathers strong and beautiful, but also soft and colourful?

Let’s see… I think they are!

After trying different approaches, to help myself into independence, financially, emotionally and otherwise, and after succeeding some efforts and failing others, here I am today.

Am I financially autonomous? In a way, yes. I have been just laid off of a part-time job I didn’t like, because I was investing more time and passion on my book project.

So, I decided not to sell myself short.

Did I find the love of my life?

I have loved, and I have been loved, but I am also valuing myself and freedom. Let’s say that I don’t see anyone next to me this morning.

Have I succeeded in my goals?

I feel stronger and I feel that I can do anything, and face adversities.

I feel that I have a purpose in life, and that I am creating something meaningful.

So, I would say that I have succeeded.

My next step?

I will write a personal development book.

After trying out different approaches, it is time I suggest mine 😉

https://www.paulaonysko.com/no-more-hiding-beautiful

May 27, 2018- Sunday, Self-Acceptance day

Hello May,

before starting the week, it looks like a good idea to dedicate Sunday to self-acceptance. To say to oneself, hey, You did Great!

You ARE GREAT, by the way, Congratulations for being here, it means you went successfully through quiet a lot of things 😉

How about allowing oneself to have fun and be careless and free?

How about doing something nice for our body?

LIke getting something nice to eat?

A massage?

Spending some time outdoors just looking at people passing by?

Talking to friends?

Buying myself a vision board?

Taking care of my hair?

How about what is under the hair?

Some food good for the brain?

Some nice thoughts about oneself?

Self compassion?

😉

Apparently, if we Collaborate Creat and Contribute, we don’t need to care about self anymore… 😉 Something the link below is developping for children, but adults can also get insprired by it!

self chasing after self

http://geniusinchildren.org/2016/05/24/the-myth-of-self-acceptance/

 

May 16, 2018-Magic May, 30 days to blossom

Dear May,

after being kind of negative on my actual job, a health problem my mother had, made me focus on something else and put things into perspective.

I feel grateful for being there for her and for feeling that I can take of my parents.

How about starting to take care of me?

It is good to try things but not to struggle and to be afraid I am not up to the challenges that the day will bring.

How can I address that?

By doing something immediately.

Working is great, but it has to be part of joy and magic.

So, what next?

Well, no mater what, I need to get in touch with my internal compass.

Sit on the top of a hill, metaphorically or literally, and have a broader perspective.

Magic May, Spring is here, how about emerging and blossoming again?

Cherry Blossom Fragrance Oil

https://www.brambleberry.com/cherry-blossom-fragrance-oil-p4986.aspx