I have been reading Umberto Eco’s: “Confessions of a young novelist”, exploring the boundaries between fiction and nonfiction. How the author builds the imaginary world and the connexions with different forms of reality, the different readings from different readers. Some of these readers, experts in the medieval worlds he mentions might look for facts and connexions in his writings he wasn’t aware of.
Despite having read “the name of the rose” and loved it absolutely, and then ‘Foucault”s pendulum”, I admit that Umberto has not stirred my interest in the same way here. Yes, I am a young novelist and I love his work and personality overall. But right now, it seems that medieval Europe is not for some reason my biggest passion.
Still, the book is only half-read, so I still have hopes, or it could be that recovering from covid is incompatible with Eco. We’ll see!
I feel a bit more relaxed after a month in London, and I start wishing for more: so here I am, planning what I would love to see materialising in my life: everyday life, friends, home, career, anything. I would like a magic wand to attend to it, but sometimes, taking a step at a time is also great. I came accros my goals set in 2017 in an old notebook, and was happily surprised to see I have reached them, almost all!
In the meanwhile, there were times that looked disastrous, as if not only I was not reaching any goal, but I was also losing what I already had! Somehow, I kept my faith, in the middle of these adventures, and I can now talk from a much better place.
So, how do I create magic again? Apparently Good Things come to those who Create, so I will draw the best possible picture and I will see myself into it. I see myself aligned with my work environment, friends I can trust and who can be trusted and a mission that inspires me! A loving family created, pets, travelling to unite with like-minded people on Earth, Beauty and my personal Utopia materialised!
Can we be happy in the middle of unhappiness? Yes, because LIFE has always a way to get ahead, and by involving as many others as possible to this happy bubble of ours! May Happy Bubbles become many and include the whole world!
yes, I woke up early, at about 5.30 and felt sleepy for most of the day; was I more productive? I couldn’t say, but it also felt good to have done something already by the time I used to have my first morning coffee.
We will see how it goes… now I had promised a chapter, but in reality, it only exists in my mind. That, and my teaching, make it look improbable…
Another episode of “Lupin”, based on the character of Arsène Lupin, created by the author Maurice Leblanc, a contemporary of Sherlock Holmes.
Very interesting, it takes the story to the present, where social class, race, Paris, art, beauty and even Marie Antoinette get together. It persuaded me to visit the original Arsène Lupin books, and to reflect on why this type of man is so attractive… the adventurer, difficult to reach, Arsène, Bond, or …
what, I forgot to tell you which habit I am aiming for? Indeed, I practically did. Should I count day one again?
So, here I am again this morning, in my parents’ home in the South of France, having my morning coffee and journaling.
I mean to feel deserving for good things and doing one thing for myself every day. Feeling so overwhelmed and guilty that I am not answering everyone’s demands in perfection doesn’t take me very far.
So? Feel that I deserve a holiday, and taking care of my hair, style, maybe stopping some chocolate and coffee? Hmm, I will go back to 70% or more chocolate and eh, I have two coffees in the morning. Make it one?
Deserving the best for us, and forgiving ourselves for our mistakes, celebrating our accomplishments.
what if I say that I will start something and then there is a day I don’t follow up? Probably, I need to start again. So, day 1 is today, July 9.
What is new? Hmm, I write my new novel, and I will testify doing it in my blog. By the way, I am reading again the play of Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac, and I am completely moved by this love which is somehow missing its target.
So loveable, Cyrano, Roxanne and Cristian, the type of characters it would be nice to meet. Cyrano has a big nose, and he loves Roxanne. Roxanne loves handsome Christian and is loved by him. The problem is, Cyrano is putting words into Christian’s mouth and that is what Roxanne loves about him. A love triangle. Two men trying to create Roxanne’s ideal love object. Hmm…
It happens in real life also. Being afraid to show who we are for fear of not being loved, sacrificing real life to some kind of ideal…
what a start we had! Kind of intensive, with a lot of things to finish which I did, and I am thankful about it.
On the other side, I feel a bit low on energy, tense, bad hair, etc. And there are still many things which need my attention, with people having different demands (from my parents, the cat, my colleagues, random neighbours, … etc).
And still, these others are here not happy about something… and I feel guilty for not satisfying all these agendas.
What to do to restart and recharge my energy?
Well, having some sleep and me time is important.
Shut the noise out.
Everything which is not rest, is noise in this case.
Then, feel I deserve accolades for such a good job the last months, and give myself credit, to begin with. It has been kind of heroic to navigate through these complicated times in such an efficient way.
So, instead of guilty, I am to feel proud.
And offer myself something I really like: a fruit juice?