I found myself at a reception with people who had refused my job application, people who know me and seemed to like me.
At a certain point, I addressed one of them with a question: why does x new building has to be ugly?
He kind of took it personally, getting defensive. As if I was accusing him of responsibility.
I answered that maybe functionality or something else is the priority.
Thinking back at the scene, I realize that this dialogue is more than what it looked like.
I still hold kind of grudge because these people didn’t help me. When I was asking in a critical way, it was as if I was asking this person: why didn’t you support me?
And he feels a bit guilty, so it’s like, it wasn’t all me making the decision.
People can speak up words, but sometimes, what they really say is different.
Saying that, I also realize that I can come out as a bit aggressive when I feel wronged.
Should I stay in the vicinity of these people? Or forget it and go another way?
Hmm, it certainly doesn’t pay to be around just to be around.
To begin with, holding a grudge is only bad for me.
Feeling hurt could make us aggressive to others or towards ourselves.
How do we get over this feeling to focus on our creation?
By being self-compassionate:
Sometimes, not succeeding in something is the best thing.
That doesn’t mean we are not good, or that the others are better.
It could mean that this is not our “niche”, the right place to be.
It’s like insisting in being love by a person who doesn’t give back.
Why not try with another?
Open up our scope?
Open our eyes to see?
And as the “Little Prince” would say, “you can see what is essential only with your heart”.