January 1st, 2020- New Year, NEW ME

Welcome 2020,

Welcome my dear New Year! Here I am, having a glass of wine and feeling extremely hopeful and in a good mood. There is no particular reason for this. I am having a party by myself, after my parents got to sleep in my small French village, and I am listening to some music.

I spent much time being afraid in 2019, but despite everything, I am proud to have pulled it through in a decent way and to have reached a milestone compared to my previous life.

There is something that is appearing as a possibility to live from my whatever activity.

And also, I want to choose my friends as to real friends, because I don’t need “figurines” or replacements because I can stand by myself. Anyone who wants to stand by me could be because we are enjoying it and not because we are afraid.

Happy 2020,

Prosperous 2020

Beautiful 2020,

December 27, 2019- Wrapping up certain things before the year comes to en end?

Hello December,

I have added a question mark because I don’t want to put pressure on my flu-suffering head. Yes, there are things to do. The kind of things I don’t like to face. The practical ones. The ones that if you don’t do you are not an adult and eventually, everyone will notice.

On the other hand, we do I avoid to look into the abysse? Because I am afraid I will not know what to do. And I will just stress.

I might feel bad about myself, not successful enough, not beautiful enough, not enough of something.

How about asking for help?

This is probably the best one. I need to ask for help and advice instead of pretending they don’t exist.

How about seeing myself as all there is to it?

There must be some technique to say, wait a minute, I am good and gorgeous enough, I am Worthy and my hair is just awesome today. It can be nice tomorrow also, but that doesn’t take away anything from their awesomeness today.

And I don’t need to post a picture to prove it.

Doing something special.

Giving oneself a medal?

What if some people disagree with this?

Let’s not ask them!

https://www.printavo.com/blog/year-end-checklist-10-things-you-must-do-before-wrapping-up-the-year

December 23, 2019- Dream life and flu in my family home

Hello December,

two days before Christmas in my village in the South of France. Yes, it is charming. But when you arrive from London and you get a flu right away, plus the problems of my parents, it is a bit too much.

Or, maybe it happened with a different order. First I got stressed, and then I got the flu. And instead of doing all these necessary but also pleasurable things I was meant to, I am at home with the cat, watching the Hobbit 1, 2 and 3.

In any case, instead of moaning or becoming a female Ebenezer Scrooge from the homonymous story, I write about my feelings.

After working a lot, stressing and doubting my marvellousness at my new job, I thought that I could do some fun things before starting to work on my student’s art portfolios.

And finally, yes, finally, I realise that after Hobbit 1, 2 and 3, and the necessary things like bills and the like, there will be no time left.

TIME.

But maybe I just need to reevaluate pleasure. Why is it pleasurable only to live on a bike expedition and discover the hidden paths of the South of France as my neighbour does?

Is Hobbit not a work of art after all?

And my parents, and the cat less worthy company?

Some Christmas music, and I might prepare myself a Grog instead of drinking this horrid cough syrup.

After all, when is the best time to Dream than taking advantage of this flu time?