October 23- Chocolate gratification

Good morning October,

I can tell you that I dedicated three hours a day to writing the last two days, and I feel proud of that. Don’t imagine pages and pages, but I have put down some thoughts;

How is my waking up early going to bed early plan?

Eh… improving. This is already good.

So what is the best thing to do next? Do you have any suggestions?

Sorry, can you repeat that again? A piece of dark chocolate? I deserve it?

Ok, if you say so!

What, you want to know what is my dream?

This is quiet a question, I can barely think and eat at the same time;

But, I wish I could offer every one a piece of good chocolate!

Just one 😉

Chocolats

http://www.pierreherme.com/media/catalog/category/580x405_DAMIER_CHOC_1.jp

 

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October 22b- Friends giving relationship advice

Hello October,

do you ever get together with September and November for a drink? Just to catch up? I met up with a good friend and artist for lunch by the Platform. She was working with me on a project a few years ago. It was nice to catch up and see that things are happening in all the possible fields of our lives.

She is dating a guy who seems great in the sense that he respects her goals and emotions. It is so important to be close to people who want to see us grow and who also want that for themselves.

Later this evening I saw two other friends and discussed two other cases of men. The first had dated a person who turned out to be a “goujat”, meaning a man without a notion of “savoir-vivre” or politeness. He even went with her on holidays and then disappeared without living any trace, or a good buy. Maybe it is the best thing he could do for her.

The second friend is in love with a man she feels completely incompatible with her. His temper, behavior, everything exasperated her, but still, is thinking about him.

Are we getting anywhere discussing relationships with our women friends? Or is it just comforting each other in our pre-conceived ideas?

It is funny because I overheard a conversation between a group of men at the café who were doing exactly the same thing on their side. One of them had a relationship problem and the others were “brainstorming” for solutions.

Should we have been talking between men and women instead to understand each-other better?

Or is Rubyr 8 right when she said that: “love is a selfish wind fairy staying on a whim and not because someone tries to please it always”?

(http://rubyspolaroid.wordpress.com/)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship

October 22- Life with some flavor

Dear October,

Einstein seemed to have given some important incentives about the way to live our lives, and not have been ‘just” a scientific genius. Well, I have fallen into this one

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value”.

–Albert Einstein

Now, would success mean something that is valued by society, the media, the people and groups who are powerful? And I would take value as something that is meaningful to us?

What if it is meaningful to me to spent all my time at the Parisian cafés and observing people? (I might get bored in doing but this, but let’s say, what if…). How would I make sure I live from this? Because you have to order something to eat after a certain time, it’s a costly pass time. The solution would be to make something out of it, probably, something that would interest other people.

Because I feel that despite our differences, we have a lot in common. So maybe, finding something meaningful for us, and trying to communicate it, is adding value for everybody else also. And it becomes a success.

Whereas, if we start with what everybody considers a success, it is like boiling a chicken for the fourth time, expecting to find some flavor in the soup 🙂

October 21b- Empowerment and goals

Dear October,

what is the next right move? You might ask. Feeling good and getting a sense of direction. Actually I do. There is an idea that has been like a seed planted in my mind, and it starts growing. I will need to find a team of enthusiastic artists to work on that.

I am going through a quote period, so here is one:

“When the personality comes to serve the energy of your soul, that is authentic empowerment”

Oprah Winfrey

Now, the way I understand this, if I am a Tiger – I was in a dream- I need to behave like one in order to feel good and serve my purpose in the bigger world I belong to : chase, sleep, etc. If I decide to become vegetarian it might not agree with me and the balance of my environment might be lost. It is like being a fish out of water.

For human beings, there is a bigger choice of paths and actions. Is there everything fixed once and for all before, or at the moment we are born? During our childhood? Later… I don’t know. There are different positions on that, and a lot of studies that have been conducted.

But once, for whatever reason, our personality emerges like the spine of our existence, we need to feel like a fish in the water; having a sense of purpose. That saves a lot of energy… and I will try to get to bed not long after midnight for this reason 😉

http://xdesktopwallpapers.com/fish-in-blue-water-22054.php

October 21- Approving oneself :-)

Dear October,

you gave us quiet a storm a while ago, it is so great to see the sun shine again!

Here is an incentive that is worth trying, I will see how it goes!

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

– Louise L. Hay

http://capitalchoicecounselling.com/2014/06/love-fundamentals-self-love/

 

October 20b- To win at all costs?

Dear October,

I have just won an argument with the man I was in love with two years ago. Was it worth it?

We were never in a relationship, something went wrong with the communication, and we had an almost friendly contact ever since. We met last week, and after he told me about his wonderful holidays with his girl friend, I told him I have fallen in love this summer. Obviously, to someone else. And he didn’t like this.

He directly adopted a patronizing and offensive attitude. I asked him out tonight because I wanted to tell him that.

The thing is, I”won” the battle, and made him lose face, but was it worth it?

Was it mature on my behalf?

Hmm, not quiet.

Why is it easier to tell someone what he has done to displease me than tell him I like him, even if, or despite the things that separate us?

I know what you might say: forget about the war April, wake up, make peace!

http://www.123rf.com/stock-photo/peace_sign.html

October 20- New habit: write for 3 hours every day

Hi October,

now, I want to get up early, do my dance/work out and write for three hours. Before I start taking care of practical issues that disperse my concentration. In order to get up early, I need to go to sleep early 🙂

In order to change this, according to Duhigg,

“STEP ONE: IDENTIFY THE ROUTINE

The MIT researchers in Chapter One discovered a simple neurological loop at the core of every habit, a loop that consists of three parts: A cue, a routine and a reward”.

My routine is that I want to do something that will make me feel nice, before going to sleep. Hmm, if it is something like reading, blogging, seeing friends, why not do it a bit earlier?

Because I work until late, and this is because I have started my day late, so I finish later.

And what is wrong with that? You might object. If you are a free-lance, you can do what you want.

Yes, but I don’t have enough time for writing. And if I don’t do it in the morning, I might be less concentrated, or if I do it at night, this wakes me up 😉

http://charlesduhigg.com/how-habits-work/

 

 

 

 

October 19b- Philosophical Paris ;-)

Dear October,

it has been a beautiful day in Paris, about 24 degrees Celsius, and everybody was out: in terraces, on the streets, the parks… You could see people of every possible age: old ladies who could barely walk, couples, children with their scooters, and of course, a lot of tourists.

After a visiting two of my favorite Sunday cafés, and meeting up with some friends, I decided to go for a walk to another neighbourhood. Because you see, I am in the mood for change and transformation.

I picked up the Bastille area, that was also crowded. The walking pace at the Rue de la Roquette, was really slow. Among the cafés of the Place de la Bastille, the “Café des Phares” the first philosophical café, with its simple decor, full of charm. The philosopher Marc Sautet started organizing discussions every Sunday morning in 1992, with the idea to reintroduce philosophical debate in the public sphere. After his death, other people have continued the initiative, that has a lot of followers.

The philosophical café, is a very Parisian tradition, in different historical periods. They are all over the city, meeting places for artists and intellectuals who meet up and co-create…

 

I am absolutely thrilled to have had a coffee there, even if it was too late to assist in the discussion. (Next time I need to be present at 10.30!).

Now, I told you all this because I want to prove to you that I try new paths.

Because, in order to become an upgraded version of me, I need to surprise myself and get my brain to work again 🙂

Apparently, I have to pick up a bad habit, and replace it.

Just one?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caf%C3%A9_Philosophique

October 19- The power of habit :-)

Dear October,
since I am in a habit and change of habit mood, I got myself the book entitled “The power of habit”, and I intend to experiment on myself and see what result it will give. Oh, I might need to decide on a bad habit to get rid of, and not just add a new one 🙂
So, for my first day in its company, I share this quote:
Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.”
Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
Have a great day, but this is an almost summer day in Paris anyway!
12609433

October 18b- Dating codes

Dear October,

do you know anything about men-women relationships? It could be very cultural, but it seems to me the people I know -at least in Paris- nowadays, are lost in different dating codes.

In the conversation I had with a guy yesterday, he insisted that women are supposed to decide if they want someone, and do everything to pursue him: follow him, jump on a plane to meet him for two hours in another country, go knock at his door even if he is living with another person.

After having watched a number of romantic films, or maybe because I have a traditional side, I like the idea of the guy doing also something to pursue me. According to my friend, this is a problem. I am not decided enough to go all the way and get what I want.

I wouldn’t like the opposite picture, where the woman is a damsel in distress, and the role of a “real” man is to rescue her or to chase her for two hours, if it is an old film. Unless if we talk about our attitude, our decision: do I want to be with this person, or not?

But is real life like a film? Aren’t relationships inter-actions where actions get their meaning from the context, the moment, the flavor?