February 4, 2018-How to satisfy my multiple selves on a Sunday

Hello February,

yes, I am out of bed, not at 5.30 as I intended, but at 8.30. And at 11.00 I am still on my coffee time and I am feeling kind of numb. But still, I have already taken a walk.

My neighbour at the cafe has a beautiful notebook, it’s from Argentina. Full of the characters of Liners, an Argentinian artist.

All you can do when you want to take your time.

In Harry Potter, Hermione is given a gift where she can stretch time and clone herself to do many different tasks in parallel universes.

So, let’s see what I would do if I had three selves to perform my tasks.

My first self, would get out of London, to the country side. May be close to the sea, Brighton? but something at 1.30 distance max by train. This self would go there with friends. No, better, this self would go to a type of retreat and spa, with some kind of loose activities and at the same time. This self, would go there with a friend/or romantic interest, and would eat the best food in the area. So, this self, would get back refreshed in mind, body, etc.

The second self, would sleep and then meet with friends or call up those I would like to talk to and see how they are doing. This self would probably go for shopping and would check how clothes fit with one another. She would buy an art book if she doesn’t feel like running to an exhibition.

The third self, would be work focused. She would finish a draft of her project and she would send it to someone to review it by tonight.

Now, somehow, I am my third self, with some wishes from the two others. At least I could identify those two.

Can I satisfy everyone?

In a way, I need to find a compromise.

The busy self, will not move, unless the other two are somehow taken care of.

So, I went for a walk, I looked around.

I will paint later today.

https://paddle8.com/work/damien-hirst/153956-your-touch-from-the-wonder-of-you/

Advertisements

February 7- Saturday night

Dear Saturday February,

Instead of being at the bar for a drink with my friends I am working! But I work at my new favorite café 😉 At least until they lower the lights and I can’t see my own notes.

Were I at home, I would have felt deprived in a way. But this combination of café-bar and work, suits me. The only problem is I might need to watch my budget more closely! I promised myself to end it this weekend, and then I will go back to the Platform to face my ex wannabe boss and negotiate. So, let’s do it!

Actually, I am the only person working. I am surrounded by couples, and despite my superhuman concentration, this makes me think of Valentines and Saint-Valentine.

I thought about B, my former café-crush, who I met earlier, and felt confused. He is so warm in public, and yet, he avoids more contact -like a date for example. He might have someone in his life, or not like women but why does he cultivate this form of ambiguity? Is he like Victor Legris, the detective of the novel I have been reading? May be he is afraid of the powerful attraction I exercise over him. “The bise” with me, the greeting kiss “à la française”, already makes him dizzy.  So, going out for coffee might be too much: he’s scared that it might turn him into my slave for ever.

Ok, I will have to accept this. What is more, my first passionate love, of the time I was 20, H, came back to town. H hurt me, so I had stopped any contact with him years ago. Now back to Paris with his family, he tries to get in touch again. I am not sure I like this.

What I would like, is a good-hearted and clear-minded Valentine for the 14!

Amour Paris

July 22- How to be both the Cricket and the Ant?

Do you know this story July?

“The cricket had sung her song
all summer long
but found her victuals too few
when the north wind blew
Nowhere could she espy
a single morsel of worm or fly.

Her neighbor, the ant, might,
she thought, help her in her plight…”

Well, you probably have no idea about the north wind. You listen to the cricket sing and enjoy it, but according to this story and its morale, singing is not “working”. How about blogging? Painting? Dancing?  Should artists be in the cold during the winter time? Is there only one type of work that should be rewarded?

Anyway, I have been both during the winter time: a cricket and an ant; had both fun and also worked for different projects.

Now it feels like I need a small vacation. To sing close to the seaside, close to nature, to dance, to love and be loved. We need to let go a little bit and just enjoy the fact of being alive, sing because the weather is good (I am not talking about Paris today), or because we had something nice to eat or drink. Or because we saw a beautiful person; etc, etc, etc.

Does singing and dancing involve intimacy? Eh, maybe they serve to attract someone in the first place.

How do we transform attraction into intimacy? Where we meet in all the possible meanings of the word?

By sharing the same lifestyle and the same values? An ant that lives with an ant, a cricket with a cricket?

Or a cricket with an ant? It could be a better match in my opinion. In this way, the cricket would have food and shelter in the winter. And the ant would loosen up a bit and learn to enjoy life in the company of the cricket. And even dance.

But neither should be judgemental of the other.

I thing this could be a happy marriage.

Also when it comes to ourselves: we could let our “cricket-side” embrace our “ant-side”.

And become more complete 🙂

 

http://www.bewilderingstories.com/issue209/cigale.html

Yin or yang are complementary opposites. Together they make a whole.

http://www.spotlight-online.de/language/vocabulary/opposites-attract