November 27- Did the wannabe boss win?

Dear November,

today I had a meeting with the wannabe boss, the no 2 of the Platform and his lieutenant. A meeting I was not exactly looking forward to.

Just to remind you, the Platform is a constellation related to art; a place where I am associated to, as a free-lance. They give me a space to operate, and cover some expenses when I suggest the realization of an exhibition for example.

I thought that being there was giving me some connexions and credibility; but it doesn’t guarantee any income for me. And the man who became the Platform no 2, saw himself as a “boss” who can rule in an authoritarian and disrespectful, in my opinion, way.

I had challenged him in the past, by answering back to his insults: he was telling me last year that the Platform is too important and I am not able to organize sufficiently important international events (I report this in the nicest possible way, it was more nasty). He had forgotten to mention that last year was the first time I had some means concretely for “spectacular” events.

After this meeting, that triggered the creation of my blog, I concentrated on my work. I accomplished all the objectives he had set, saying that they were too big for me. But of course, he wasn’t happy. During the whole year, he did his best to make my life difficult and sabotage my projects. But they succeeded.

I tried to go to the Big Boss and for some moral support, in order to get out of his sphere of influence. But the Big Boss refered me to his no 2, the wannabe boss. It was feeding Christians to the lions.

And the lion, with his assistant, wereready to devour me today. The wannabe boss didn’t want to look at my work, he just let me know that I would have to leave the Platform by February 2015. They restructure and change their objectives, that was his reason.

I told him I understand there is an institutional logic and thanked him for the interesting experience I had at the Platform. He wasn’t happy I took it so “well”. And started to count all the benefits that I would miss. How did I dare not to be hurt? Or hurt enough? May be I didn’t realize it was such a big deal!

How do I feel now? Relief

It was no longer productive for me to stay close to a man who undermines everything I do and tries to put me down in every possible way. I performed “miracles” the last year, I even found private funding for my activities. But no matter what, nothing is good enough for him, if I keep my independent, carefree smile in my face.

And it is my most precious treasure.

For some time, the Platform has allowed connections to the art world; but now, under the rule of the wannabe boss, it is not any more a place I desire to be.

I have dreams, and they need love and loving people, in order to come to life.

Goodbuy wannabe boss, you have been my muse for some time.

The moment has come to become my own Boss.


October 20b- To win at all costs?

Dear October,

I have just won an argument with the man I was in love with two years ago. Was it worth it?

We were never in a relationship, something went wrong with the communication, and we had an almost friendly contact ever since. We met last week, and after he told me about his wonderful holidays with his girl friend, I told him I have fallen in love this summer. Obviously, to someone else. And he didn’t like this.

He directly adopted a patronizing and offensive attitude. I asked him out tonight because I wanted to tell him that.

The thing is, I”won” the battle, and made him lose face, but was it worth it?

Was it mature on my behalf?

Hmm, not quiet.

Why is it easier to tell someone what he has done to displease me than tell him I like him, even if, or despite the things that separate us?

I know what you might say: forget about the war April, wake up, make peace!

July 13- Last day at the Art Exhibition: to experience and to win

Dear July,

today has been a day full of all sorts of experiences at the art exhibition: should I talk about my feet that hurt again, -and it’s partly my fault: high heels :-)- or the human contact with all these artists?

I was running around all day, in meetings, photo-shootings, cocktail parties, it was great! I even got a present from a Japanese artist who was exposing her work. Something for the house she told me, it is so beautiful wrapt I don’t want to open up and see what it is… maybe some type of scent… Isn’t it great to get to a meaningful discussion with someone from a different culture in a lapse of time? And isn’t it funny to have communication difficulties with people who share the same background…

Anyway, these contacts are part of the wonderful side of the art world. I felt happy for having participated in the organization,  made new friends, and maybe this will help me in terms of career: when there is a good dynamic something should come out of it!

After the last cocktail of the day, I knew I wouldn’t be needed any more at the exhibition, so I said goodby and instead of going to rest, I decided to watch the end of the World Cup. The ambiance of the little café-bar next to my place was quiet a difference from the “ambiance” of the art exhibition.

People were cheering both sides, it was not clear if the majority was for Germany or Argentina. Personally, I was more sympathetic to Argentina, but I guess the German team played well.

In this type of games, there is a winner and a looser, nothing in between, even if the second team gets a silver medal. We get the impression that a moment could have a huge influence in people’s position. This is thrilling, and probably what makes people watch.

Is it like this in everyday life?

Are there different ways to experience and to win?



Champions Celebrating