December 3, 2015: Update of my adventures- Back to the Future

Dear December, dear blog-friends,

I started this blog as a form of journal and testimony of the change I desired to see in myself and my life, a year and a half ago.

There were a lot of things which made me grateful: living in Paris, to begin with. For a girl who grew up in a small town of the  the South of France, this is so exciting! This city is an experience by itself, even in its worst moments. But there were some issues:

after having been laid off by the wannabe boss and having spent some time floating on the roof tops of Paris,

with my writing

my artistic projects and dreams

my old and new loves,

I got a FRESH NEW START in LONDON!

Since October 2015, I let you know how, as a former French small town girl, and a Parisian, I adapt to life in London

For a year. With a new artistic project.

What is going to change in my life?

I am ready to live the adventure!

 

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June 3rd, 2015- I am powerful and I can bring change

Dear June,

I am committing to writing every day again for the next three months and empower myself.

After certain blows during the last months, and the final confrontation with my ex-wannabe boss, I felt I was slowing down.

That I can’t realize my goals.

And this kind of disorganized me.

The retreat to my hometown was ok, but now that I am back I feel a little bit overwhelmed.

I will start with small things.

And I will admit that although the “big” goals seemed to escape, a lot of progress has been accomplished.

Yes, I can do everything I set my mind to.

Yes, I am taking action right away!

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/guy-winch-phd/personal-empowerment_b_4384446.html

January 23- A day at the Platform and a word of self-encouragement

Dear January,

I am my own boss, this is what I decided by the end of 2014. Now, in 2015 we need to see how this will become materialized into actions, people, funding of myself and my future team.

Last Friday I went to the Platform headquarters, the loose connection of artistic event organizers and other related professions, where I had a rendezvous with a colleague that was postponed to next week. So I went for lunch by myself and then, my moral sunk a bit.

My ex-wannabe boss is not exactly the person I would look for encouragement, and my friends were missing. I also felt late with everything I had to do, and kind of insecure when it comes to the future. The wannabe boss wants me out of the Platform, and I might have an idea about where to go next, but it is still a bit fuzzy.

Does x colleague like me? Does Y group appreciate me or not? Z influential people want to work with me? In the end, do they love me?

I went for a walk and then something hit me:

That was my old state of mind.

If I need encouragement, I should find it first in myself. I can plan something and invite people to join in, instead of waiting for others to invite me to their party. Is there something I love enough to make me hit the road and take the risk of living?

If the answer is yes, then all these questions have no meaning. I choose a path and welcome those who want to join in.

My best answer to someone who tries to hurt me is to show this person that they actually do me a favor.

And to celebrate this, dear January, I decided to go out and party with my friends.

Party time in Paris!

It is great to go around the city at the early morning hours with the snow starting to fall!

http://www.thechangeblog.com/seven-creative-ways-to-change-your-perspective/

Seven Creative Ways to Change Your Perspective

November 27- Did the wannabe boss win?

Dear November,

today I had a meeting with the wannabe boss, the no 2 of the Platform and his lieutenant. A meeting I was not exactly looking forward to.

Just to remind you, the Platform is a constellation related to art; a place where I am associated to, as a free-lance. They give me a space to operate, and cover some expenses when I suggest the realization of an exhibition for example.

I thought that being there was giving me some connexions and credibility; but it doesn’t guarantee any income for me. And the man who became the Platform no 2, saw himself as a “boss” who can rule in an authoritarian and disrespectful, in my opinion, way.

I had challenged him in the past, by answering back to his insults: he was telling me last year that the Platform is too important and I am not able to organize sufficiently important international events (I report this in the nicest possible way, it was more nasty). He had forgotten to mention that last year was the first time I had some means concretely for “spectacular” events.

After this meeting, that triggered the creation of my blog, I concentrated on my work. I accomplished all the objectives he had set, saying that they were too big for me. But of course, he wasn’t happy. During the whole year, he did his best to make my life difficult and sabotage my projects. But they succeeded.

I tried to go to the Big Boss and for some moral support, in order to get out of his sphere of influence. But the Big Boss refered me to his no 2, the wannabe boss. It was feeding Christians to the lions.

And the lion, with his assistant, wereready to devour me today. The wannabe boss didn’t want to look at my work, he just let me know that I would have to leave the Platform by February 2015. They restructure and change their objectives, that was his reason.

I told him I understand there is an institutional logic and thanked him for the interesting experience I had at the Platform. He wasn’t happy I took it so “well”. And started to count all the benefits that I would miss. How did I dare not to be hurt? Or hurt enough? May be I didn’t realize it was such a big deal!

How do I feel now? Relief

It was no longer productive for me to stay close to a man who undermines everything I do and tries to put me down in every possible way. I performed “miracles” the last year, I even found private funding for my activities. But no matter what, nothing is good enough for him, if I keep my independent, carefree smile in my face.

And it is my most precious treasure.

For some time, the Platform has allowed connections to the art world; but now, under the rule of the wannabe boss, it is not any more a place I desire to be.

I have dreams, and they need love and loving people, in order to come to life.

Goodbuy wannabe boss, you have been my muse for some time.

The moment has come to become my own Boss.

 

November 14- If you value yourself, the world values you :-)

Dear November,

I spent the biggest part of the day preparing a report for the wannabe boss. The idea was to explain to him my activities as an artistic event organizer for last year, and the ideas I have for 2015. One of the secretaries came by to tell me she overheard he is not happy with the way I spent part of the budget. I promised it to a big art exhibition this summer, and for some reason he was not happy with that.

I felt in a mystery novel, in Kafka’s Castle, or another bizarre château, full of intrigues, treasons, talking behind closed doors, etc. There is a part that is inspiring for a novelist, and another part, in everyday life that is challenging.

In any case, I realize that I have a purpose that inspires me: to work on uplifting artistic expositions, that stimulate creative responses in challenging times. This sounds general, but still, I can find concrete ideas to objectivate it.

And for this reason, a very central place is important, it could be the Platform, or a place at the crossroads of artistic events, but I also need some people who are happy to work with me and trust me.

Right now I am drinking a form of herb tea, “Yogi tea” and there is an inscription on it, that says: “The moment you value yourself, the whole world values you”.

It sounds so true!

So I guess everything falls into place when I get to see the larger picture. And the larger picture is my goal and the means I need to accomplish it. And the person I become taking this path 🙂

http://ink361.com/app/users/ig-289214352/karisanari/photos

 

 

 

November 13- Paris getting ready for Christmas: time for a wish

Dear November,

with birthday and Christmas approaching, I feel like it is time for a wish. Super models have come to Paris to inaugurate the Christmas collections and decorations of the biggest department stores: Galleries Laffayette, Printemps, … super models Jerry Hall, Kate Moss and Cara Delevigne.

But my favorite department store is the “Bon Marché”, that makes you feel part of a fairy tale: -)

Actually the photo is from last year’s decoration, because this year it is even more beautiful…

What did you ask? How about my goals? Of course I have been focusing on them… Funding the artistic project, contacting senior artists and people from the art world to get some support… I started telling around me that I am a candidate…

Apart from that I actually prepare my rendezvous with the wannabe boss next week, but couldn’t I use a distraction?

http://www.lebonmarche.com/catalogue/lifestyle/galerie-imaginaire-noel.html

 

 

November 5- Third day of challenge: meeting the big boss

Dear November

this morning I had a meeting with the big boss of the Platform. My objective was to go around the no 2, the wannabe boss, but this objective didn’t work: he told me what I do is fine, but he is occupied with other things, and it is no 2 who decides about the people and who stays there.

And the wannabe boss with his assistant are waiting for me next week. Hmm, I was not thrilled to hear that, but I smiled and just said that I don’t know if I am a favorite with the wannabe boss these times… Big boss reassured me that wannabe boss will look at the quality of my work and not personal questions…

Ok, then I will do my best.

Later I was walking in one of the Platform’s corridors and as I was turning right towards the elevators I came face to face with the wannabe boss 🙂 I was taken by surprise and made a “aha” sound, but so did he, and in a moment I was saved by two Platform employers who arrived.

It was kind of funny, but that made me tense, and I advanced on the project, but felt that I used a lot of energy at this meetings; No 1 and 2 of the Platform on the same day, this is something… 🙂

Then, I felt my confidence lower, am I writing a good proposal, is this an original idea, do I find the right words to express it, does it have a structure? Does it look professional enough?

Will I get any support on this? I don’t even have enough time to ask around…

After all these questions, some chocolate and a walk in the park, “limitations are self-imposed”

The important thing is that I love this project! I finally came up with an idea that inspires me!

Is it too ambitious? Maybe, but even if this funding application comes too early, I can make it better and submit it again!

Isn’t it great to feel that I might contribute something to the world!

http://www.startofhappiness.com/why-95-of-goals-are-not-achieved-and-how-you-can-join-the-5/

October 7- My business meetings at the Platform

Dear October,

I have spent the day in quasi-friendly professional meetings; the objective was to find allies (and get the wannabe boss off my back). Did it work? I don’t know, but I spent a lot of energy on that…

At this Platform, or network of artistic event organizers I belong to, I have a small budget to spent. The wannabee boss who is no 2 or this structure wants to push me out. He gave me some objectives he thought I couldn’t fulfill. I succeeded but he has been looking for excuses not to give me the budget that was allocated to me. During the summer months I have organized artistic events and promised some funds that haven’t come yet. And I am not eager of meeting with the wannabe boss and his nasty assistant. They are insulting and try to put me down.

Then why do I stay? The Platform could be an interesting place, in Paris, a city I love. If I am a star, part of a galaxy, the Platform is a network of galaxies, that is called an AMA in astronomy. My objective is  to attach myself to another galaxy with another boss.

Going back to my day: my first meeting involved a group of people, I presented my projects and that I am out of blue as to the means to accomplish them. This took me a while, and then I needed to be at the Platform, for lunch with another group. I arrived late, and they were already at the desert phase. But I was excused and joined them for coffee.

Then a third meeting followed, with a colleague who is also a friend, for a debriefing of the situation on my side and hers. She also needed my advice on her projects. We ended the discussion late, and when I got back home, all I could do was to buy myself a chocolate cake.

I would have finished it by myself as a form of consolation, but fortunately I run into another friend and suggested to share it. Probably the best thing to do …

 

http://www.taher.com/services/business-dining/businesslunch3#.VDUmPhYYv7w

Taher Inc. Business Lunch

October 1rst: Make Fashion, not War!

Welcome October!

You arrived in a festive mood in Paris, could it be related to the fashion week? It is important, that gives us ideas for next spring and summer outfits 🙂 It keeps us focusing on spring and sunny days to come…

Chanel’s defilé de mode was even political: “Make fashion not war”!

This is a great message, because we can interpret fashion as art and creativity, LIFE after all!

Creativity, dance, celebrations, getting together is important for relationships to start, friendship, love, …

I have offered a drink in my Platform spot today, to celebrate the success of my summer artistic event;

Well, it was my idea in order to put some positive energy by gathering some of my favorite people;

It all went well, but still, there were some “challenges” to overcome here and there: the wannabe boss, who smiled to me from a distance, but didn’t approach 🙂

This is the new season starting, let’s bring something new and creative this month!

Make Fashion, not War!

The site Satisfashionug.com has posted a series of photos from the Chanel March :http://www.satisfashionug.com/chanel-staged-a-feminist-march-for-its-spring-show/

Models 2

June 22- The art of being passionate, provocative and diplomatic

Hello June,

you want to know how I spent my Sunday? No you want me to know if there is any progress related to my objectives. Well yes, there is.

For the first part of the day I saw a couple of friends. I asked the girl, in her early twenty’s, what is her objective. She is in Paris for six months now, and I thought I might be of help. She took my question as an intrusion, and responded that for the moment she is waiting for the universe to inspire her something she could even die for, and then she will take action. Although I was a bit annoyed to find myself in the role of a parental figure who is controlling, I can’t help respecting passionate people.

Later, I had dinner with a completely different person: an actor I have met three years’ ago, and he is passing by through Paris. He is very diplomatic and capable to understand different sides. I wanted to see if there would be a possibility for a future collaboration. He is someone I get along well, and I like his work. Were he available from a romantic point of view it would have been great, but no. Anyway, he is also involved in some form of collaboration with the wannabe boss. But this is almost over, after a tour they have recently done. So I jumped in and I offered a new perspective.

Now, is this the best way to deal with my wannabe boss? My friend thinks I should avoid any form of conflict and try to be as humble as possible, showing him how intelligent, powerful etc he is. I have been acting in a proud way. As if the world were mine and hierarchy didn’t exist.

I am sorry I left my feelings getting involved, but I like to be treated with respect. I also admit having a side that likes to create a nice “scene”; something that could be part of a future novel. It kind of amuses me even if it is dangerous.

Anyway, this event belongs to the past, it happened a year and a half ago; the question is the present and the future.

My purpose is to advance with my writing and the artistic projects that are so dear to me.

With people who are also enthusiastic and who support each other in co-creating.

Just to illustrate my point, the sculpture of Eros and Psyche by Antonio Canova, both indispensable for creation!

http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psych%C3%A9_ranim%C3%A9e_par_le_baiser_de_l%27Amour

File:Eros and Psyche.jpg