I just had a setback I was expecting: I had a NO from a gallery I was collaborating with last year, I did some work for them, and now I asked for a job. The person I was working with and I was counting on supporting me, pulled out.
I was kind of expecting it, since she was silent the last time I emailed her.
I went out for a coffee.
At the same time, I have this killer project. This mentality of theirs is defensive of privileges.
How about mine?
I am used to being rejected actually, because I always felt as a minority.
But did I really like the way these people worked?
Deep down, I think they are conventionally good but boring. I went there for the name of the gallery.
It can be important.
Maybe, I can start from giving value to myself.
How did my last relationship end?
In a similar way.
With someone who was not appreciating my full value.
Am I appreciating myself enough?
What would I do if I consider myself a star and the main character in my life?
I would look for help and collaboration with people who really inspire me.
how are you doing? For me it is the day after … a battle, where I didn’t win the prize. My bones hurt and I allow myself to feel tired. Is there a lesson to learn? Was my proposal good enough? Did I advertize it as much as I should have? Did I find a champion to defend it? Many questions, that I can answer later.
Right now the most important thing is to relax, feel good, and then, I will have the time to learn whatever lesson there is to learn.
I deserve a special treat. Going to my favorite café. Eating a piece of chocolate. Listening to my favorite music. Talking to a close friend. Kissing someone I am in love with and being kissed. Or something close to that. Read or write a poem. Or both.
After all, I did better than last time. And I should acknowledge this fact and appreciate my effort. Putting myself at stake, out there, demanded some courage.
I can also think of the larger picture. Getting this funding or job, is a step, an intermediate goal, towards the Big One: not only advancing with my personal work and diffusing it but creating an inspiring Platform where people will be stimulated to give their best, and they will find the means to realize their dreams. A place where we will put together something worth transmitting to future generations 🙂