April 23- love and secret identities

Hey April

You were supposed to be sunny but you were also cloudy today. My deadline for the application is tomorrow, so I worked on the CV and some other documents, from the same spot of the local café.

But there is something that was distracting me the whole day: the conversation I had on the phone with my old flame, the day before.

Here we were, talking after two years. When I practically “disappeared” after I learnt he had been unfaithful. Why didn’t I tell him he hurt me? Instead of saying something like: “I wish you good luck”! I could have been angry, face him.

Was it pride? Partly, yes.

I thought, this makes no sense, if I just don’t want to see him again. You communicate when you want to continue a relationship and try to work things out.

Two years later, I pretended being kind of cynical or “blasée”, like him.

Why not show my emotions and say what I really want? I was afraid of being hurt, of course. Or, that I would have been considered naïve.

It can be fun to have a secret identity online. You hide, but at the same time this allows you to reveal an important aspect of yourself.

But when it comes to love, shouldn’t I take off the mask to connect to another person?