May 11- tranformation and self-love

Dear Sunday May,

I was to have tea with a Chinese friend, but canceled it because there were things I needed to work on this afternoon. He was so kind to say: never mind April, another time!

I couldn’t have finished in the morning, for the simple reason that I woke up late, after having been out last night. So my Sunday started practically after 12.00 when I decided to take my computer and go out in one of my usual Sunday headquarters. Just a parenthesis to specify that certain cafés are closed on Sundays in Paris, so for a café-lover as me, I need a Sunday hangout.

The first step, is usually a café where I meet up with a group of friends who leave at about 13.00 to have lunch elsewhere. So, I skipped this step and went directly to the second. It is a place where I often have lunch, tiny, with good prices and friendly waiters. Great cocktails at night.

I worked a lot, talked to a friend who joined me at some point. Chatted with the guy next table who wanted to know if he looked fine in his jeans.

I answered yes. This triggered a thought about liking, or loving oneself and self-transformation. Being liked, loved by others, is so important, we are ready to do almost anything to assure this love. Write a blog, become a rock star, sacrifice for others:

But how do we like ourselves? We can choose nice-cut jeans. We can eat well, buy ourselves beautiful things, or things that others consider valuable. We can become very accomplished, beautiful, rich, famous, helpful, powerful.

But is this liking or loving oneself? How about the desire for change? Is it based on self-love or self-hate?

In my case, I think self-love is to accept I have valuable things to offer and not feel diminished every time I ask others to join a project, an idea or even a date. If they yes, fine. If they say no, it is fine also.

If I ask for an approval I risk liking myself less every time I get a negative answer.

If I concentrate in co-creating, I am conscious of having something valuable to offer, but so do others. It is just different, that is why we are complementary.

Finding the right partner-s is necessary to love, grow, transform and create.

PS. Thank you Kimberly for the post on liking yourself!


May 4 – Coffee Parisien

Hello dear May,

here is a place – or scenery- I visited twice today: once for lunch, a burger, and four hours later, for a pancake. Yes, it is a small restaurant inspired by North-American cooking in a very central area, Odéon. Prices are reasonable compared to other restaurants around, and the quality is quite good. This is a reason why I pay my respects there quite often, especially on Sundays.

Why couldn’t I have the pancake just after the burger? Maybe because I wanted to chat again with the barman, a theatrical actor; or because I left to meet some friends in between. And this restaurant is not a convenient scenery for a friendly meeting and discussion; a bit noisy, though charming.

The scenery or stage is very important to perform adequately our roles. That is why certain places become our “headquarters”. The café of the meeting for example, was adequate for people who wanted to stay there at least two hours.

The scenery is important for event organizers. And not only for them. In the Coffee Parisien I went alone and tried to finish as soon as possible. In the café, we were three, and another three people joined us at different moments. At some point, we discussed dress up parties. A reason people like them, is the possibility to step into a new character. They represent a kind of holiday from our everyday identity and challenges.

Acting is another way to live other lives and realities. It can be liberating for those who perform and also for those who watch the performance.

I thought that if we want to change the play of our life, we’d better be careful in our choice of the stage and characters.

At the end of the day I had an idea on the leading actor for my event and emailed to invite him.