June 5, 2015- I need a good strategy

Dear June,

more than 31° Celcius today in Paris! My summer clothes and shoes were still hiding and all of a sudden I had to find something light to wear! It felt like a holiday … almost… things changed in the evening with a storm.

This day could serve a metaphor for me: I started in the morning with a visit to a “salon de beauté”. It is something to do when I get stressed up. And then I have to work until almost midnight. I guess I am a night-bird.

It was at about 1.00 that I went back to my different projects:

-Istanbul, to begin with. I am to get there by the end of the month with a group of artists. Will I get paled? Probably no. Will I get funding from the wannabe boss? He promised, but …

-A Brazilian artist I work with arrives in Paris just before this event and I am in touch with him for whatever he might need in terms of organization.

Then, there is something else for early September.

Am I spending much time for things that might not pay off materially? Yes and no.

Not right away.

I need a strategy. That is the thing.

Am I in denial, ignoring the realities of the artistic life in Paris?

I probably am.

One of my strategies has been to built international collaborations, but it hasn’t worked well enough.

Now, I need a new strategy.

A strategy that agrees with my nature.

As a person.

As an artist.

As an inspired and unorganized event organizer.

 

 

http://workinglater.blogspot.fr/2014/11/combining-paycheck-with-your-passion.html

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June 26- On dentists, shopping and proximity

Dear June,

yes I know: this is not a serious title for a blog that is dedicated to personal development. There is something of a disorder about it. What is the dentist’s role for example? Well, the dentist is what pushed me to shopping.

Please, be understanding! One of the nicest months of the year in terms of temperature, you can only be good-humored. I had a dentist emergency and I went to his cabinet early in the morning. But he wasn’t there. And his assistant told me she would contact me for the afternoon. This dentist gives you an appointment for the next month, so if you have an emergency you’d better stay close and try your best to be taken seriously. She finally managed to find me a place in the afternoon.

But there was no time to go in the direction of the Platform. And I needed something to lift my spirits. I spent the next three hours looking for certain items that were absolutely necessary for my summer wardrobe. And not only. Like a pair of jeans for example. I am not shopping a lot, not because I don’t want to. A question of budget. But discipline is not easy, I love fashion and living in Paris is full of temptations.

The last part of the day involved a farewell meeting with my friend who is visiting and his group of colleagues. We met quiet late, and that meant that we stayed until the last bars were closing. At 2.30 they were considering another round. I felt at ease with everybody, although I met most of them for the first time.

I realize I have a lot of friends on transit, and although this is a way for me to travel without buying a ticket, it is also good to open up to those a little bit closer. With far away friends I feel more secure. Like the case of the passenger next to you on the plane, to whom you tell the story of your life. And then you go your separate ways. Without worrying if what you just said is going to be used against you.

But defending oneself against potential dangers also keeps away some great things.

In the film “Confessions of a shopaholic”, the heroine is creating an imaginary life to protect herself from hardships. But this finally gets in the way of intimacy and relationships. The solution is to find a creative way to accept reality: by transforming it!

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessions_of_a_Shopaholic_%28film%29

Confessions of a Shopaholic.jpg

 

 

June 2- Where to go with a date in Paris

Hello June,

My working plan was a bit shaken today since two of my invited artists cannot make it for the date they were supposed to be present. I will find a solution tomorrow.

But I have a piece of information for you, if you want to go on a date in Paris. A restaurant with a romantic air about it: Monteverdi, in the Saint-Germain area, where I often go. It is very cosy, and I stopped to check it as I was walking by: I pictured myself there, exchanging passionate looks with the object of my affection while I am sipping red wine.

Is the cooking good? I haven’t tasted it yet. It is kind of expensive and I don’t know if this is the best Italian restaurant. But such a great scenery for the play I have in mind!

The romantic scene where we have just discovered that even if we seemed to have come from a different background, we share something, very deep. The taste of the pasta can go unnoticed. Or almost. Emotions don’t need words. The sound of the piano is enough.

Is daydreaming a way to escape reality or to shape it? After all, we need to know what we want, in order to recognize it when we see it.

Do I have more chances to go on a date with B at a restaurant like Monteverdi, or to a playground with his little kid? For some reason, the second scenario is more realistic to me.

Do I mind? Not really. The most important ingredient, is love, and to share important things in each-other’s life. It could be members of their family, a hobby, a taste in food, travelling, watching a dvd, whatever.

When feelings are present, any place becomes enchanting.

And life is tasteful.

 

http://www.lemonteverdi.com/bienvenue

May 24- Into the woods (4): The era of the dinosaurs

Hello May,

What would it be like to live in the time of the dinosaurs?

For the little girl siting next to me at the local café, it would have been great, since she preferred to live in this period. This is what I would have liked, she stated. Her mother was more pragmatic. There were not many things around at the time, she responded, you might have been bored.

This is an important question to start the day with. Are we having more fun now than we would eventually have if we were running around hunting, pray to the elements of nature and to the occasional Tyrannosaurus?

We have more security. In a way. Internet. Mobile phones. If I see a Tyrannosaurus approaching I can call my friends to the rescue, and send them a mms with the exact size of the beast and its location. We run less, which is good and bad at the same time. We have the illusion that we can make it by ourselves. At the era of the dinosaurs we would have to collaborate more.

How about our love life? Would it have been easier?

There might be less time for dating rituals. Life was shorter and people would have to cut to the chase. No doubting, no questioning. No, “does he/she really like me or is he/she just a friend?” No “I feel injured from my last relationship, I am not yet ready for a new one”. No, “is this only physical or is it love?”Yes, or No. And some fighting in case there was competition or difference of opinion. Women were probably as great warriors and hunters as men.

That is how I imagine love at the era of the dinosaurs.

By the way, scientists support that human beings didn’t coexist with dinosaurs. (http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/faq.php#humansanddinos).

But this is just a detail 😉

 

http://www.wired.com/2007/06/scientists_disc/

Dinosaur

 

 

 

 

May 21- the moment before the transformation: Lyndi Sales

Hello dear rainy May,

this was a challenging day because I went to an exhibition where my mentor-to-be was presenting some of his own work. It felt difficult to face him after he refused to participate to my first project, last week. At the same time, I run into people who are examining another of my proposals. People who decide if they like it or not. If they like me or not.

It is not easy to feel judged. For me. There is a part, that wants to blend in, be accepted and recognized by my reference group, peers, etc. There is another part that wants to follow my instincts. This could make me look different. But it is me.

Just after, I went to lunch with someone who is coming from my hometown, we had met when I was planing to move to Paris and was looking for advice. We had a lot to catch up. I am happy for the path I have taken. Still, talking about the challenges I faced in the past, made me feel uncomfortable. Because I have tried to affirm an independent stance, to defend the territory I was creating.

My label.

And it is still not solid enough. Or is it?

I realized I need to focus on connection. To go towards those with whom I have an understanding. To forget about those who don’t want to understand.

Easy to say, but we are all part of the Platform, I can’t ignore this reality.

Maybe Lyndi Sales, the South-African artist, is giving an answer. I run into an installation of her work by accident and looked for more information on-line.

Lyndi Sales  talks about “Real Imaginary” and works on the limits of our perception. With the object to grasp the moment that precedes a transformation. She evokes a multitude of parallel universes that reflect, influence and respond to each other.

Vesica Piscis – ontology
aquarelle sur papier Fabriano et découpage
102×156 cm – 2014

 

http://www.marialund.com/fr/artiste/lyndi-sales

 

Her work is presented in the art gallery of Maria Lund in Paris: 48, rue de Turenne 75003 Paris – T. +33 1 42 76 00 33 – galerie@marialund.com

May 19-love, fantasy and reality (2)

Hello May,

how was your first day of the week? I don’t know if you see the difference between weekends and the other days, but for many humans there is a change of rhythm.

My personal rhythm was accelerating and then slowing down, depending on the activity I was doing. There was also a repetition of a music theme: very often, I was going back to thoughts on love fantasies and whether I should get out of my last one.

I reread B’s sms. B is the guy who interests me. He sent me a sms yesterday, where he told me he doesn’t have time for me at the moment, between his job and his son. Should I forget all about him and even change café? Should I instead, try to understand? After all, we hardly know each other. It is not as if we were engaged in a relationship. He was also asking me how I was doing. Should I answer that?

I had lunch with a good friend who was having similar questions. She is in love, and was complaining about the sms culture in relationships. She needs to communicate with her partner, and writing a sms seems a very limited way to do so. Not enough to fight, to explain, to reconcile.

Or is this an advantage? Limited space is after all what we need to condense our feelings and learn to cut to the chase.

So I sent B a sms. I said I understand, and I am happy to run into him in our usual café. I told him I like his group of friends, the way he is mixing up people of different origins. Because it is the true.

I felt better after that. More free. Time and space are important. Rhythm also. But isn’t it more important the way we use them?

Speaking of rhythm, there is a wonderful Jazz Festival in the area of Saint Germain, ending on May 25, I hope I will make it to one of the concerts.

(http://paris-ile-de-france.france3.fr/2014/04/24/festival-jazz-saint-germain-des-pres-paris-465423.html)

640x360_bis.jpg

 

May 18- Rue de Buci: love, fantasy and reality

Dear sunny May,

this is the second post I write for the day. I have accidentally erased the first one before having the time to save it. There is no accident of course : I was a bit troubled by the topic, which is love.

I spent the biggest part of the day, Rue de Buci, between café, and aperitif. I met some friends, and talked among other things, about relationships. Is X more than a friend? Is Y manifesting romantic interest?

I received an sms from B, my favorite café guy, saying he is completely absorbed by his work and his son -as a divorced father- he hardly has time for anything else, which is me, and he is sorry. Our casual meeting at the café is almost his only fun time.

I know parents of young children are extremely busy and B is doing a demanding job.

But, if he wanted to, he could have made some time for a drink!

This is going in the direction of what an Italian friend had told me: if a guy wants something, he will act. Turn the page April!

Of course, I would have liked him to say instead: “I am sooo busy, but I always make time for you, April”!

I have not answered yet. I will continue going to the same café when I feel like it and I still like B. Too bad I will not get to know him for real.

Between the fantasy of love and reality, I prefer reality, with a fantastic guy!

http://www.tripadvisor.fr/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g187147-d545892-i78663543-Marche_rue_de_Buci-Paris_Ile_de_France.html#78663543

Rue de Buci Paris

April 28- Ruby Sparks

Dear April,

You want to know if I am advancing in my search for true love?

I haven’t been dating in my hometown, not exactly.

Talking to friends or watching a film, doesn’t qualify.

To begin with, what is true love?

The day ended with the film “Ruby Sparks”, written by Zoe Kazan, who personifies the role of Ruby.

To make a long story short, a young writer who has published a bestseller as an adolescent, is alone and lonely. He starts writing about his ideal woman who somehow comes into life and appears in his apartment out of the blue. She becomes his girlfriend.

Ruby, that is her name, meets his brother and rest of the family. She has become part of his reality. But this is not enough to make him happy; the ideal woman is ready to leave him. As he tries to stop her, he reveals his secret: that he is her “creator”, almost a god, and can make her do whatever he likes.

After a violent confrontation, Ruby leaves him. The writer decides to write the end of his book in a way that emancipates or “frees” his character and gives her the right to exist independently of him.

When he decides to write a book about his relationship with the woman of his dreams, his creation, it becomes a successful book. And he gets to meet a girl who looks like the “Ruby” of his dream relationship.

The line between fiction and reality is sometimes difficult to draw.

The kind of issues raised by the film is dear to my heart: I am writing, and it has happened to me to create an ideal man. Last year, I have fallen in love with someone who was making me think of this character.

But don’t we all, at some point, want to “transform” a little bit, a person we love or like, to match our “ideal”? Isn’t a list of desired attributes a way to control and frame the existence of another, so that it is impossible to hurt us?

The thing is, if it is impossible to hurt us, maybe we get bored and walk out of this “perfect” person.

Freedom is so important! A friend has told me that love is not to melt in one another, but to become emerged by the other without losing our unique qualities.

Our potential to become!

Writing, fiction, forms of creation are ways to stretch our own, but also other people’s identity; to propose a platform where we can meet.