May 10- crazy, happy, normal, bitter: combinations

Dear May,

I came back late after a drink with a group of friends; the day was full of emotions and challenges so I was slightly anti-social; I finally spent some time talking to E, a mathematician who admitted writing fairy-tales. I don’t expect to publish them he said and considered that a novel should be even trickier to write. In the sense that it asks for much more work and you don’t know if this effort is going to be recognized someday. He said it needs a lot of faith.

I smiled and answered that this represents the way I have been living up to now. Meaning that I don’t have a tangible reword for the hours, work and love I have put in the writing and my other artistic endeavors. But I have faith, and I am a bit crazy. Both these elements allow you to take risks.

What if reality disagrees?

For example, the mentor I have been asking for help is not going to participate in my first project. He said it demands a lot of work, he doesn’t have the time. That was kind of a setback.

Of course, people who have already been recognized receive a lot of demands. They are courted by so many others who would like them to join, support, and appear in their projects. And I am one of them. I understand that they have other things to do.

Still, I could be satisfied because he might come as a guest star at some point, and he might be interested in project B. Why feel discouraged?

Because I’d rather not have to ask. I would have liked for things to unfold easily and naturally, the way rain falls now from the sky in the Parisian rooftops. The way flowers blossom in spring. I would have liked him to come and tell me instead: “April, you have this terrific artistic project, would you like me to join in”?

And then I would have liked B to come and tell me: “April, you are so adorable, please go out with me but without any strings attached, just enough to see if we are any good together. You are free to leave when you feel like it but I hope you never will”.

There, here is what I would like!

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As Paulo Coelho said… 🙂

and I also found a related post in :