What is my heart’s desire? This is the question I tried to answer today.
I stayed home and this gave me the time to browse my past journals. (By the way, yes, I am an adict to journals in every possible form: paper, electronic, …)
It was as if I was looking into the mirror of my past dreams.
Here is what I realized about myself:
a. My dream number one when I was 20 was to become a writer!
b. Writing is one of the activities that give me most pleasure!
c. Writing a blog is already great!
d. Writing a novel has filled my heart with joy!
e. Publishing it is my next objective!
Somehow, my heart’s desire became secondary all these years because I was looking for an occupation that would give me a sense of material security. And becoming an artistic event organizer was the solution, but it has not given me the material security I was hoping for.
Don’t get me wrong September, I enjoy what I do. And getting to know artists and their work is a source of inspiration anyway.
But this occupation can only come second; fullfilling my no 1 heart’s desire shouldn’t keep waiting any more.
It is as if I didn’t expect to succeed in this and didn’t want to give it a try.
As if I were in love with someone I found too attractive, or great or … for me, so I would date someone else. Or not trying to live in my favorite neighborhood because it was not possible and I would look for an apartment in another area.
Why not simplify life and try for what I really like, instead of my second or third choice?
Why not say what I have to say, instead of waiting for others to guess it?
Why not use my internal compass to take my to the right direction?
P.S. Here is what Melody Nunez is suggesting in her interesting page, and I intend to try it (http://melodynunez.com/flashback/)