I have committed in writing every day, so we will keep each other company for the next few days.
By the way, I sent my manuscript to a new publishing house and have a good feeling about it;
In this way I am moving in the direction of my heart’s desire. This action has fuelled up my motivation and chased the feeling of helplessness that was dwelling around.
I was picturing myself alone, misunderstood, with a mountain of challenges to face. Like a damsel in despair at the approach of a dreadful dragon.
The film “the Life of Pi”, released in 2012, that I watched recently, somehow inspired me: Pi, a shipwreck victim, is an Indian adolescent. He is stranded on a life boat with a tiger that was transferred on the ship, and he finds a way to survive in its company. The film is extremely rich in meanings, but I will just choose a point of view relevant to my experience:
I dreamt of myself as a Tiger. There was another animal attacking me, and I was hopelessly trying to defend myself or make it go. Then, I had to come to a realization: I can’t escape or win, as I am right now. I need to transform into something else, something more powerful. And there it was, I became a huge Tiger, roaring. That settled everything.
As a tiger, I need to change my eating habits. I think we eat on average six kilos of meet a day. Also sleeping hours; and I need a territory to chase. But I will figure out everything.
The most important is that no Platform animal should come bother me if it is the moment for starters 😉
I just watched the film “Date Night”, with Tina Fey and Steve Carell; it was released in 2010 but I could never make myself watch it even though I like comedies. The story of a married couple who tries to find again the spark that united them is not a story I can identify with easily. Not at this time of my life.
But now that I watched it, I see I was wrong. I enjoyed the rhythm, the actors, and found it quiet refreshing.
I have a lot of friends at different points of their relationships. Married, divorced, in love with someone who is or is not responding, with young and restless children; in couples that have transformed into friendships; or single in flirting friendships who don’t know how to qualify the relationship they have with another person.
A new friend I have made gave me an interesting definition of a loving relationship: he told me it can be very demanding because the other person is constantly in your mind; there is a kind of fusion, when it comes to feelings, but also thoughts.
Is love a fusion? A melting pot? Until the fire ceases and then you become a roommate? I have been madly in love, but before getting to know someone closely. When this happened, I was loosing interest.
Up to now, I haven’t experienced what my friend described.
Is this the only way to love?
Love, the way I understand it would involve growth for both people.
I would like to make a deal with you: there are some important things I need to finish while you are here. Would you mind giving me a hand?
How? The weather for example. Not too hot to make us sleepy but agreeable enough to keep us in a good mood. And to stay outside, by the river bars.
Now, I have been wondering, after three months of blogging, if there is a change in my attitude, in the way I see the world.
There was a film, “Groundhog day”, released in 1993, with Bill Murray and Andy MacDowell. Murray incarnates Phil Connors, an arrogant TV weatherman who is sent by his channel to cover the annual Groundhog Day event in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He considers the event beneath him and is odious with everybody. Bad weather obliges his team to spent the night there. When he wakes up the next morning, he finds himself in a time loop, and he keeps repeating the same day again and again. After some time, he knows exactly what is going to happen in every moment of the day, who he will meet and what they will say to him. He indulges in hedonism and then makes numerous suicide attempts but it is useless, he is still alive in this same day. He finally begins to re-examine his life and priorities. And this is the moment when he becomes “liberated” from this “spell”.
Now, the first time I watched this film, I was quiet young, and thought it was a nice comedy. The second time, I was older, and was going through some challenging times. I thought it was a psychological drama and found it disturbing. It was as if I were stuck in a time loop myself. Now I think of it as a philosophical tale.
My question is, have I changed my attitude, my world view and priorities during this period? My feelings about myself and others?