May 29- Butterfly emerging: on being magnetic

Dear May,

it must be spring, a lot of couples are kissing in the street, in the parks, love is in the air.

It is wonderful! You just want to join this incentive especially in a day like this, a holiday!

After getting up late I accompanied a friend to FNAC, a chain store for everything related to culture: books, music, films…

She was looking for something in the personal development section and while I was waiting I investigated the section dedicated to relationships. There were a lot of books on couples, with “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”, still on the top of the shelves. I looked at it but was not convinced to buy it. There was another one on what men want, referring again to couples. Maybe they are stereotyping people, or not. I would have given them a chance if they had something to say on the question I ask right now:

I am interested in B, and I want to spend some time with him, to get to know him better. And I would need some encouragment from him.

The last book was on what makes a woman irresistible. Again, the first part was dedicated to a “before” meeting someone you like, situation. There was even a design with body postures that showed a person is “mal aimé”, or doesn’t love oneself enough.

It was also giving counter-examples, or behaviors to be avoided. I didn’t recognize myself in any of them. Then, the positive example can be resumed in one phrase:


And that consisted of having a purpose in life. Ok, I got that one.

Then the second advice was:


This is very cultural, but for the author of the book it meant: wear high heels, dresses, make up, and accessorize your look.

I didn’t buy any of the books, but as I went out tonight for a walk, I noticed how many women were wearing high heels and dresses. And I admit that I was wearing my sneakers and jeans, carrying around a notebook to write down my ideas. And my hair was attached. I think that I was looking fine, but a simple mortal wouldn’t recognize me as a goddess, right away.

Could these books have a point? But then there is nothing on how to open your heart to each other. When you get back home with this guy and you get off your high heels?

The caterpillar and butterfly metaphor came back to my mind. I think that a lot of “internal” work has been accomplished during my chrysalis period. I feel close to emerging as a butterfly. I need to open my wings and get myself into the “right outfit”. Not as a disguise, to hide who we are.

But as a way to communicate our inner being.

<a href=””>Monarch Butterfly</a>

strawberry mojito: relationships and self-transformation

Dear May,

today I celebrated the job I am to be offered with a strawberry mojito. Which one? I don’t know yet.It will materialize soon. I need to stay positive to mobilize the necessary energy for all my projects :-).

Before, I had visited an exhibition of a Platform artist, where I met several colleagues, artists, organizers etc. We also had a meeting around my summer event. One of the themes of this event will be “love”. We discussed different aspects and ways to materialize it. It was an intense day so it was great to end it with a friendly chat. In a way, we continued on the same topic:

Love and relationships.

One of my friends who is single, said she can’t see anyone she likes lately. After observing a few passers by, we asked her to rate them in order to understand her taste. She finally ended up admiting that two men were attractive for her. This is great, considering that we spent an hour on the spot. The other one, in a relationship, is dating a guy she loves, but he has an intrusive mother. She doesn’t approve of her for her son and has taken the trouble to tell him.

Liking someone, loving a person who loves us back, is the first step. But then, he comes with a network of relationships with other people, part of his previous life. Could be his mother, his son, his friends, colleagues from work, sister, neighbour, client, boss, dog.

A relationship is a form of reconstruction of oneself and of the other. Of our past networks and relationships. Of someone’s time. Habits. And some of our former relationships might not like that.

It is a big change.

And change is great, but also uncomfortable.

Am I ready for it, or am I satisfied to imagine what it would be like?