September 30, 2016: From Paris to London

Here I am September,

in London again, having tea, whereas there are still issues pending in Paris with my flat and the potential tenant …

It was great being in Paris, going out with my friends, running from one birthday to another…

Although I have almost a year in London, my social life is a bit pale, compared to the wonderful opportunities in the art world…

It is almost Friday night, the pubs are full and I haven’t even thought of contacting anyone I know, I am still writing on my computer, is this serious or what?

How about those madly in love with me, why haven’t they manifested themselves already?

To be honest, I might have some prospects, but I didn’t feel very enthusiastic. I gave a somewhat indifferent answer to a poor guy who was inviting me out, and I have been systematically late in my meetings with another one until he got angry. No, I wasn’t passionate about them. Although apparently, indifference is an important ingredient for a successful relationship, not passion.

I gave a somewhat indifferent answer to a poor guy who was inviting me out, and I have been systematically late in my meetings with another one until he got angry. No, I wasn’t passionate about them.

Although apparently, indifference is an important ingredient for a successful relationship, not passion. If you are kind of indifferent and cool, your brain functions more than your instincts. You give people a chance, and it is difficult to get angry at them.

I might exaggerate a bit, but it is the question of choosing with your brain or with your heart.

Probably both are important, what would you suggest?

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lauren-kay/why-nyc-women-should-consider-flying-across-the-country-to-find-men_b_4894602.html

 

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June 25 and 26, 2016: Love for Europe brings love

Hello June,

yes, this idea of the UK out of Europe kind of shook me as other Europeans, Londoners and pro-remain people.

But there was an interesting side-effect: this common concern brings people together. You see a gorgeous guy sitting next to you at the café, pub, … grieving for the loss … you join in with your grief to seek some kind of comfort… feeling the need to share emotions.

Is it a problem that he is a gorgeous blond with blue eyes? I didn’t even pay attention as the topic was so important… well he is working for a news program and he wanted to see how the other Europeans took it… so here I am today having coffee with him…

Will this collective emotion translate into something more personal?

It is hard to know right away; let’s see if we will meet again for drinks and more analysis!

https://i0.wp.com/thinkfuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/male-actors-with-dark-blonde-hair.jpg

 

March 13- Mission of the day accomplished :-)

Hello March,

do you months sleep or not?

for the last three nights I have been staying late working, emailing, writing, until about 4.00 in the morning. No, don’t come start a conversation when I wake up, it might be impossible to get something intelligible out of me.

Did you know that intelligent people are supposed to sleep late? What do you mean this is not proof enough?

Ok, let’s talk about something else. Actually, I fulfilled the last step for the professional challenge of March 13. It was the difficult part where I had to contact people of some influence in the world of art and ask for their help. Somehow, I would rather hide, invisible, and expect/fear to be discovered some day.

To get myself on the spot, knock on doors and defend my creation is not exactly my cup of tea. So I postponed it as much as possible. Self-sabotage? Where did you hear about this?

My work was not ready enough, or this is what I told myself until the last-minute. It was as if I prepared for the scenario: here is my work, could you help me and say something in my favor? Oh, yes, it is the last-minute. I see, you are so busy, you don’t even have time to take a look at the future event proposal. I understand, I should have told you before.

With this scenario, I don’t get completely brushed of: the person in question, just doesn’t have the time to take a look. It isn’t as if he/she said he doesn’t like what I do. So, I don’t get a result, but I neither get a negative feedback.

It is as if you almost ask someone out. You tell them at the last, very last-minute. Would you go out for a drink at 19.00? And it is already 18.45. If the person invited says no, you can’t attribute it directly to the fact that he doesn’t want to. It is understandable to have another project. So a doubt persists. An ambiguity. Maybe B likes me after all. Maybe not. Maybe. It could be better than no, but some times, it could be worse.

Despite my resistance, I fullfilled the third step of my professional challenge.

And despite some self-sabotage, I managed to get together some support and present myself to people I didn’t know. (I had a glass of wine before for this last one, but I don’t see it as a permanent solution).

Will it work?

It is important that I have asked. And in this way, there might be a result. For this step.

In any case, I feel that my work has evolved since last time I tried in this direction 🙂

http://lingkulanko.com/using-vision-board-to-manifest-your-goals/

February 7- Saturday night

Dear Saturday February,

Instead of being at the bar for a drink with my friends I am working! But I work at my new favorite café 😉 At least until they lower the lights and I can’t see my own notes.

Were I at home, I would have felt deprived in a way. But this combination of café-bar and work, suits me. The only problem is I might need to watch my budget more closely! I promised myself to end it this weekend, and then I will go back to the Platform to face my ex wannabe boss and negotiate. So, let’s do it!

Actually, I am the only person working. I am surrounded by couples, and despite my superhuman concentration, this makes me think of Valentines and Saint-Valentine.

I thought about B, my former café-crush, who I met earlier, and felt confused. He is so warm in public, and yet, he avoids more contact -like a date for example. He might have someone in his life, or not like women but why does he cultivate this form of ambiguity? Is he like Victor Legris, the detective of the novel I have been reading? May be he is afraid of the powerful attraction I exercise over him. “The bise” with me, the greeting kiss “à la française”, already makes him dizzy.  So, going out for coffee might be too much: he’s scared that it might turn him into my slave for ever.

Ok, I will have to accept this. What is more, my first passionate love, of the time I was 20, H, came back to town. H hurt me, so I had stopped any contact with him years ago. Now back to Paris with his family, he tries to get in touch again. I am not sure I like this.

What I would like, is a good-hearted and clear-minded Valentine for the 14!

Amour Paris

October 18b- Dating codes

Dear October,

do you know anything about men-women relationships? It could be very cultural, but it seems to me the people I know -at least in Paris- nowadays, are lost in different dating codes.

In the conversation I had with a guy yesterday, he insisted that women are supposed to decide if they want someone, and do everything to pursue him: follow him, jump on a plane to meet him for two hours in another country, go knock at his door even if he is living with another person.

After having watched a number of romantic films, or maybe because I have a traditional side, I like the idea of the guy doing also something to pursue me. According to my friend, this is a problem. I am not decided enough to go all the way and get what I want.

I wouldn’t like the opposite picture, where the woman is a damsel in distress, and the role of a “real” man is to rescue her or to chase her for two hours, if it is an old film. Unless if we talk about our attitude, our decision: do I want to be with this person, or not?

But is real life like a film? Aren’t relationships inter-actions where actions get their meaning from the context, the moment, the flavor?

 

October 10- Love and repetitive patterns

How was your day October?

mine was ok, I had some meetings at the Platform, with people I like. Then I tried to email some artistic agents. My computer was as slow as my brain today.

Probably because I was still drilling on questions about love. Could it be right in front of me and I don’t see it? Why look for the Love from Afar and pretend that love which is near doesn’t exist? Yes, I have someone in mind.

Should I trust my intuition or not?

I read a very interesting article, saying that the people who attract us instantly, who make our heart beat faster, are those who remind us of a childhood trauma, that has not been healed yet. These people are able to hurt us in the same way, and we hope, unconsciously that the trauma will be healed this time.

But it rarely does.

It is similar to watching for the 10th time a film that make us cry, but it is somehow, our favorite.

And we reproduce the same pattern. So the advice was to decide on dating people for whom we might not have an instant crush, but a softer form of attraction, and give them a chance. Give ourselves a chance to go towards something else than the painful repetitive pattern…

Now, is this information guaranteed? What is my source? I don’t actually remember, I should have taken a note :-). But at the same time, it rings a bell. Especially when we find common characteristics to our partners or if we say: not again!

I might try it for a change…

Is there a pattern for other areas also? Hmm, we can judge from our results. What results? You might ask. Are good results to be rich, beautiful, healthy, with a gorgeous wonderful partner and family? Get a promotion?

Or it has also something to do with the way we feel about ourselves and others? Do we keep growing and developing our potential as human beings?

P.S. A case where a repetitive pattern gives something positive: tiles! (http://www.bicesse-tiles.com/RPXX200-Artistic-Hand-Painted-Repetitive-Pattern-Tile)

RPXX200 - Artistic Hand Painted Repetitive Pattern Tile

 

June 4- World Cup

Dear July,

I found myself in a café where two of my friends were following the match between France and Germany for the World Cup. Actually I arrived only half an hour before the end of the game. I had to resolve some issues concerning the funding of the artistic event in the South of France. I hope it wasn’t my absence that cost our national team its place to the semi-finals.

Am I a football fan? Not exactly. I would have liked our country to win of course. But I didn’t know I could get passionate about it, and how stressful it can be once you have a favorite side. It shouldn’t be easy for those who are siting on the bench, especially the team coaches.

Anyway, one of the reasons for this interest was that B is a sports fan. In case we won, I would have had an excuse to text him. Not anything specific, that would betray my ignorance. Something like well done… Well, the chance didn’t present itself.

It is already important that the team got so far… Next time!

And maybe I need to resolve my dating questions without the help of the national football team!

http://www.footballhdwallpapersz.com/france-team-2014-world-cup/

France Team 2014 world cup

 

June 24- Communication and relationships

Dear June,

I spent big part of the day discussing with another event organizer. I wanted her opinion on the profiles of different artists I have met recently. Who would be more appropriate for the events we had in mind?

Then I decided to go for lunch to one of the Platform cafés’ (in case I haven’t mentioned it to you, the Platform is a loose network of event organizers, artists, producers, that has a material existence, or headquarters. I work as free lance for them).

At the café I met N, the guy with whom there was some flirting about three years ago.  But we had a communication problem. N is an attractive man about 40 year’s old, an artist. I never understood what happened. Was he offended because I didn’t go to an exhibition he had suggested? He never asked me “out” again. On my side, I was annoyed when he criticized my shoes as being too “bourgeois”. It would have been enough to find them beautiful.

Ever since, we have been running into each other every once in a while. I have seen him have lunch, dinner and drinks with various women who look interested, but he seems to be single. How do I know?

N decided to come to my summer event in the South of France, and I am grateful for it. One of the things he wanted to know, is if I have suggestions for the accomodation. Actually I don’t have any. Our budget doesn’t cover it. I would rather share an appartment and its cost with many people, or go by myself, as I explained to him. He invited me to share a place with his friends.

-How many friends are joining you?

-Just one woman.

-Excuse me but are you a couple? I asked. In this case, it would be better to have some privacy.

He insisted that C was “just a friend” and that there was no reason not to join.

I have a hard time understanding him. Unless he is gay. But he doesn’t give me that impression.

Why would a charming guy go on holidays with “friends” for the last two years, and not date anyone? Could it be they don’t realize he is asking them out?

I said I would look for a place and we could discuss it again. It will be two or three nights. I hope his snoring problem is not too bad 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 10- Sleepless in Paris

Dear June,

after having visited different museums and expositions, after having slept four hours because of the heat and a mosquito, I went to the Platform. It was time to face the reality of my projects and events to be.

My friend T left early in the morning, as I told one of my friends, with whom we had coffee. I usually avoid the big Museums on weekends because they are crowded. This time I did something different. I also reflected on love and relationships.

T offered to the discussion his model of non-relationship. A sex-friendship? This was his way to function. For now. For the last year or two and maybe the next. Not until “death do us part”, but until each of the quasi-partners finds a “real” relationship. With feelings? With commitments? With children? With fights?

My friend gave me an example of a love affair where she was “dating” someone she liked for almost a year in a quasi-friendly relationship. But in their case, they had feelings they didn’t dare to reveal. They were walking around, going to the cinema together, but it took them a while to admit what they meant to each other; They even dated someone else in between. But there was always magic between them. They finally reached each-other.

There are also people who start from a sexual relationship and feelings develop after. But stay in a situation for more than a year where you admit there are no feelings? Maybe it is also called marriage sometimes. Is it possible to have intense feelings for a long period? And what if there is?

I don’t know. I am in love with B, so I am in a different mood. Feelings are sooo important to me, it is as if I were flying up in the sky. Even if I have some bruises when things don’t go exactly the way I expected.

A life without feelings is like a tasteless dish. A plastic flower. Something useful but without any form of beauty in it.

I was sleepless in Paris, but full of emotions.

http://www.thehollywoodnews.com/2014/01/25/sleepless-seattle-returning-uk-cinemas-valentines-day/

sleepless_in_seattle

 

June 2- Where to go with a date in Paris

Hello June,

My working plan was a bit shaken today since two of my invited artists cannot make it for the date they were supposed to be present. I will find a solution tomorrow.

But I have a piece of information for you, if you want to go on a date in Paris. A restaurant with a romantic air about it: Monteverdi, in the Saint-Germain area, where I often go. It is very cosy, and I stopped to check it as I was walking by: I pictured myself there, exchanging passionate looks with the object of my affection while I am sipping red wine.

Is the cooking good? I haven’t tasted it yet. It is kind of expensive and I don’t know if this is the best Italian restaurant. But such a great scenery for the play I have in mind!

The romantic scene where we have just discovered that even if we seemed to have come from a different background, we share something, very deep. The taste of the pasta can go unnoticed. Or almost. Emotions don’t need words. The sound of the piano is enough.

Is daydreaming a way to escape reality or to shape it? After all, we need to know what we want, in order to recognize it when we see it.

Do I have more chances to go on a date with B at a restaurant like Monteverdi, or to a playground with his little kid? For some reason, the second scenario is more realistic to me.

Do I mind? Not really. The most important ingredient, is love, and to share important things in each-other’s life. It could be members of their family, a hobby, a taste in food, travelling, watching a dvd, whatever.

When feelings are present, any place becomes enchanting.

And life is tasteful.

 

http://www.lemonteverdi.com/bienvenue