March 27, 2019- Writing every day as a habit

Hello March,

writing on paper, writing online, and mainly producing something we can communicate to others; isn’t that important?

Isn’t it important to create energy? Words are a form of a code of feelings and ideas, actions, they produce an effect when you know the code well; and when the recipients of the code are also able to decode it.

https://www.thecitizen.co.tz/magazine/success/How-to-stay-focused-on-your-writing/1843788-4936070-galwwjz/index.html

 

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May 27, 2016- In the mood for love

Hello dear May on your way to go,

the weather was beautiful in London and this has triggered a mood for love to me… and probably to these couples who were kissing on the closest park, to pigeons and to other forms of life…

So how was this mood canalized in my case? I have recently developed a romantic interest for a Portuguese artist. It has been before my trip to Paris. I knew him before and found him moderately attractive. But there was not a particular spark between us.

In the spring colours, something about him became more enchanting. Was it something he said or the fact that he got on my nerves? Difficult to decide. The truth is, we don’t seem to agree on many things. Then why do we hand around together?

Probably because he doesn’t know that many people and this brings expats together somehow. I don’t hang out a lot with other French in the same way as other people. And my workplace is multicultural.

So I had an argument with the Portuguese and now he is avoiding to look at me or to talk to me directly. Is this called sulking?

In any case he points himself in front of me just to show me he doesn’t.

Is this serious? Or even grown up?

 

 

July 17 – my night with the San Francisco ballet

July dear,

did you see me running on the streets of Paris towards the Châtelet theater? I was late, the bus didn’t follow its usual trajectory, the metro took long, and it was hot, hot, hot.

I got in with the “retardataires” the latecomers, until the entr’acte.We could watch and listen to the music, but we were behind a sort of glass. The artists couldn’t listen our applause.

It was wonderful, short scenes that stimulated the imagination … I didn’t read the program, so I made the craziest associations: a scene on the metro, musicals of the 50s, african and brazilian dances, couples in love, nature…

During the entr’acte I got my seat and chatted with some friends who were present, on their future holiday plans. J, a Turkish friend living in Paris, wanted to buy a ticket for Barcelona, on a weekend of March 2015. He incited us to do the same because the price was low. The Italian present, told him he doesn’t even know if he is going to be alive on that date. So what is the rush to book a weekend in almost a whole year? I objected that things might change in their personal lives and that we might need to count with other people too.

I told him that I plan other type of events -artistic projects- but I want to be more flexible on holidays.

As for our Italian friend, I don’t know if he is a pessimist.

Maybe he wants to invite serendipity.

J considered our reaction strange, a sign that we don’t want to project ourselves into a long-term future.

For me, it is a question of time perception, related to culture but also relationships and life. This perception can form a filter in everyday communication.

It is as if we communicated trough the glass , in the way the latecomers were separated from the main theater hall. In order to meet, we need to get to the other side.

And change our perspective.

June 24- Communication and relationships

Dear June,

I spent big part of the day discussing with another event organizer. I wanted her opinion on the profiles of different artists I have met recently. Who would be more appropriate for the events we had in mind?

Then I decided to go for lunch to one of the Platform cafés’ (in case I haven’t mentioned it to you, the Platform is a loose network of event organizers, artists, producers, that has a material existence, or headquarters. I work as free lance for them).

At the café I met N, the guy with whom there was some flirting about three years ago.  But we had a communication problem. N is an attractive man about 40 year’s old, an artist. I never understood what happened. Was he offended because I didn’t go to an exhibition he had suggested? He never asked me “out” again. On my side, I was annoyed when he criticized my shoes as being too “bourgeois”. It would have been enough to find them beautiful.

Ever since, we have been running into each other every once in a while. I have seen him have lunch, dinner and drinks with various women who look interested, but he seems to be single. How do I know?

N decided to come to my summer event in the South of France, and I am grateful for it. One of the things he wanted to know, is if I have suggestions for the accomodation. Actually I don’t have any. Our budget doesn’t cover it. I would rather share an appartment and its cost with many people, or go by myself, as I explained to him. He invited me to share a place with his friends.

-How many friends are joining you?

-Just one woman.

-Excuse me but are you a couple? I asked. In this case, it would be better to have some privacy.

He insisted that C was “just a friend” and that there was no reason not to join.

I have a hard time understanding him. Unless he is gay. But he doesn’t give me that impression.

Why would a charming guy go on holidays with “friends” for the last two years, and not date anyone? Could it be they don’t realize he is asking them out?

I said I would look for a place and we could discuss it again. It will be two or three nights. I hope his snoring problem is not too bad 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 29- Butterfly emerging: on being magnetic

Dear May,

it must be spring, a lot of couples are kissing in the street, in the parks, love is in the air.

It is wonderful! You just want to join this incentive especially in a day like this, a holiday!

After getting up late I accompanied a friend to FNAC, a chain store for everything related to culture: books, music, films…

She was looking for something in the personal development section and while I was waiting I investigated the section dedicated to relationships. There were a lot of books on couples, with “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”, still on the top of the shelves. I looked at it but was not convinced to buy it. There was another one on what men want, referring again to couples. Maybe they are stereotyping people, or not. I would have given them a chance if they had something to say on the question I ask right now:

I am interested in B, and I want to spend some time with him, to get to know him better. And I would need some encouragment from him.

The last book was on what makes a woman irresistible. Again, the first part was dedicated to a “before” meeting someone you like, situation. There was even a design with body postures that showed a person is “mal aimé”, or doesn’t love oneself enough.

It was also giving counter-examples, or behaviors to be avoided. I didn’t recognize myself in any of them. Then, the positive example can be resumed in one phrase:

BE MAGNETIC!

And that consisted of having a purpose in life. Ok, I got that one.

Then the second advice was:

BE FEMINE!

This is very cultural, but for the author of the book it meant: wear high heels, dresses, make up, and accessorize your look.

I didn’t buy any of the books, but as I went out tonight for a walk, I noticed how many women were wearing high heels and dresses. And I admit that I was wearing my sneakers and jeans, carrying around a notebook to write down my ideas. And my hair was attached. I think that I was looking fine, but a simple mortal wouldn’t recognize me as a goddess, right away.

Could these books have a point? But then there is nothing on how to open your heart to each other. When you get back home with this guy and you get off your high heels?

The caterpillar and butterfly metaphor came back to my mind. I think that a lot of “internal” work has been accomplished during my chrysalis period. I feel close to emerging as a butterfly. I need to open my wings and get myself into the “right outfit”. Not as a disguise, to hide who we are.

But as a way to communicate our inner being.

<a href=”http://www.glorious-butterfly.com/”>Monarch Butterfly</a>