February 14, 2016: day 17 out of 60 day challenge- Happy Valentine’s day!

Happy St.Valentine’s day dear February!

here we are, in the middle of the month, with the spring waiting around the corner. And what is better than love to keep us warm, us, those who live on the north hemisphere?

Oh, love, I had a business meeting with a Japanese artist and his Iranian girlfriend, but this doesn’t exactly count as a date.

And I also spent part of the day trying desperately to get myself connected to the internet. This is long, so I spare you the details, it is not the right moment. But most of all I went out for a drink with the Spanish scenarist who tries to get enough money to go to Hollywood. He told me London is the right place to work on something he doesn’t really like such as selling cosmetics to women. When he will have the amount he thinks necessary, in a couple of years, he will go to Hollywood to try his chance.

In the meanwhile, he is looking for an almost relationship with an available female. The female should not want children with him neither family. He told me life has changed and the model of the couple with children is no longer valid in our societies. People wouldn’t stay in a relationship for more than 4 years.

He could be right about divorces raising. And that the way people live together might have changed. But somehow, deep down, it feels like there is always a way to show love and affection. And to grow with our relationship.

Happy St Valentine to all of us!

Chocolats Saint Valentin Marks and Spencer



February 5, 2016: Day 8 of 60 day challenge-Building bridges to a new self

My dear February,

so yes, I am expecting any time a miracle, a force that will transport me to another dimension, another reality. Something that will put me in orbit and will accelerate movement in the direction of happiness.

I was reading a text of someone who was explaining how she stopped a habit, smoking. She had to visualize a new self who would be cool without the cigarette and the cup of coffee which goes with it. Because the old habit brought a considerable part of pleasure. So the new one should somehow bring even more pleasure. Despite some disturbance at the beginning.

Ok. How can I translate this into a positive change?

Should I visualise myself after my quantum leap? What does it look like?

How does it feel like?

Well if feels like being at the right place, at the right time, for the right reasons.

Feeling fulfilled, and interacting with other people I love to do something we love. Something beautiful and meaningful. Enhancing life in this planet. Having fun together.

Just to give you a hint 😉

La visualisation est bénéfique afin que l'enfant puisse utiliser son cerveau grâce à l'imaginaire!


October 19, 2015- On new habits and taking risks

Hi there October,

am I the only person who doesn’t know how to use a gas stove? And is this a reason to laugh at me? Of course gas stoves exist in France. But I had never been faced to one.

And now, I found myself in my new flat, where everything is different somehow. I need to think :

a. how do I open the window?

b. how do I use the gas stove without causing damage…

c. how do I use the washing machine?

d. is this the way you turn on the shower?

Anyway, it is not a question of a cultural change, no. Here, I simply admit that I am not very handy with machines and objects. I spend twice as much time to do the simplest thing.

But still, this is fun.

Not that I don’t have any fears. Last night I had a nightmare. I was telling my best friend that I didn’t know if I was destroying myself and others with my risks:

To come to London and spend some of my last economies in order to be create in a different artistic Platform. A place that seems dynamic and welcoming.Will I be up to their expectations?

To rent a flat with two bedrooms without really affording it. Couldn’t I just start small, with a tiny room? Will I find soon the right flatmate?

Somehow it was easier to persuade a real estate agent than a group of people for a flatshare.

So here I am. With my autumn cold. Sneezing.

But still, daring to dream and cook around the clock 🙂

December 15- Change of Perspective

Dear December,

today I had a meeting with a mentor- he has been organizing successful events for several years, but has evolved a little bit in the margins of the art world that is very closed and codified. How do I know he is a mentor to be? He seemed sincere and not just telling me what I would like to hear.

Now, his main point was that I need to make a difference. Once we have been around a place for a while, we become taken for granted. People stereotype us in a certain way.

It is like a former hair-dresser. I wanted to have longer hair, and she was cutting them short. When I complained she said: ” I just can’t imagine you with longer hair”.

Now, I have long hair, and needless to say, I have lost contact with this lady and her salon for the last years.

Staying with the wannabe boss would have been criminal and I would have been responsible.

But how can we change in the eyes of those who are used to take us for part of the scenery? Let’s say for example, that I am known in the art world as a serious but kind of “amateur” organizer, with interesting ideas but not very high-flying.

How can I change this? How can I attract attention in a positive way?

I need something spectacular, but at the same time something other people can relate to. And something with perspective 🙂

Any ideas?


November 23- Weekend update :-)

Hello November,

thanks for this beautiful weekend in Paris, we didn’t have so mild autumn days the last years, so we were out and about the city: in cafés, parks, shopping centers, bookstores, or simply, in the streets.

I was having a friend visiting, someone I haven’t seen for three years; it was good to catch up, and somehow, this visit was very uplifting for me! And on Saturday night there was an even bigger gathering with other friends at a tiny restaurant, we were about a dozen, so great to be together!

Old and new friends together, is realizing where we came from and where we are now. It makes us reflect on where we want to be in the future.

Seeing old friends makes us go back to the time we were hanging around together, and get out of a time capsule. We realize what has happened in between: how we have changed and how we haven’t, what things have been accomplished and other not, …

A few years ago, I was having an idea about writing a novel, but hadn’t finished yet. I meant to organize artistic events, but the idea had not materialized yet. Right now, a novel is here and I am talking to publishing houses; there is also a translation that started. Considering the artistic event organization, I have made progress with initiatives that have met success, like the one in the one this summer, in the South of France.

The next step is to find partners and people who can complement me to achieve more and better 😉

Anyway, the bonus with positive friends old and new, is that we can focus on our accomplishments, even if they are small and decide to accelerate! This is what happened to me.

I wrote down a number of things I would like to see done and started … action

Having friends is like having mirrors, but at the same time, it can be a way to become perfect: our qualities together, make us a hell of a group!



November 10- Creating a coaching group :-)

Dear November,

after catching my breath and resting a bit this weekend, I thought about the next steps to take once my application has been submitted:

I need to tell people in our field who know me and ask for their support. Because it is a small artistic world and I have to “lobby” for my project. And find a balance between being in my world and out of touch, dreaming, and of this world and answering emails or communicating with other human beings.

The other thing, I decided it to create a “coaching” group, for mutual support. There are some of my friends who are at a similar moment in their lives, and getting together might help us being accountable for our objectives.

Oh, wait a second, you might object, if you have similar issues, for example, if neither of you has a stable relationship, what are you going to advice each other? Actually,  you might add, maybe it is having a similar lifestyle that allowed you to be friends in the first place.

But wouldn’t you need someone who has succeeded in the field you are interested in, in order to change? If you all have a similar issue, you might encourage each other to stay where you are, since change might mean to leave the club!

I think you have an important point there, so I need to make sure this doesn’t happen!


Do you remember I have a Psychology degree? Before I became an artistic event organizer, I have studied. Are all psychologists perfect? Even Freud couldn’t get rid of smoking. So I don’t need to be perfect to start my initiative. I already have two friends who would join the group. We will start a Sunday afternoon club.

How do we make sure we stay on the track of growth? By having an objective and keeping ourselves accountable. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean lying to ourselves. But it also means believing in ourselves and in each other.

Also by feeling that there is not only one way to succeed in something we want.

There are as many ways as people.



October 13- My new habit ;-)

Dear October,

with a potential angry wannabe boss, my finances in not a very healthy period, and a lot of creative projects but not a direct way to make a living out of them, I thought this is THE moment for a new habit. A new, energizing, power-filling and clutter replacing habit.

Blogging is wonderful; but I need to keep my motivation high.

A friend suggested cleaning up the house, or getting rid of the unnecessary things that hide here and there.

There is a lot to do in this direction, definitely, but I don’t feel motivated enough;

Another friend suggested getting up early and doing a daily workout; this is great, I have done it before and commit to do it again, but it is not enough for me; I could walk every day for five minutes, at 7.00 in the morning. I could even walk across the street to the closest café and check out if they are already open.

A poem a day? A friend who is a musician, proposed.

Good idea, I would like to read it to someone though;

How about getting to know a new person every day?

It’s ok, but I would have to live with the consequences of that 🙂

And how about running for office?

This is fine also, but it can take too much time, given that I want to continue with my other activities;

Eh, something that I can do everyday, that could be motivating and would stop replace an unhealty habit;

Praying, meditating, looking from the window and appreciating the scenery, nature, …

I have tried this, it’s fine, something new?

Creating an organization with the purpose to help in a specific direction?

I also have decided to go to bed earlier. I will start from this and get an inspiration in my dream!


July 20- Habits: to keep or change?

Hello July,

as I went for lunch to my Sunday café, or Head Quarters, I felt a need for change. B, the guy I was secretly in love with  -maybe it was a secret only for me :-)- was not there. I haven’t run into him for the last two weeks and there was hardly any action; even for someone who dwells in romantic fantasies.

One of my friends commented on my weekend habits; I have two favorite cafés for lunch. I move in a delimited territory for coffee, not bigger than our arrondissement, or neighborhood. Paris is huge, the world is big. Why do I evolve in a small surface? Is it my fascination for B?

Actually it is more than that. Having one or two favorite places gives me a feeling of belonging, even if it is not “real”. A café is a business, not a family, or a group of friends. But still, a neighborhood has its own “soul” and “spirit”.

Cats apparently, get attached to places. And like to mark out their territory for chasing. And not only cats. Maybe I am this type of animal.

At the same time, animals change territory according for example, to weather conditions. They might migrate if what they need in order to stay alive, is not provided anymore.

Maybe it is time for me to change some of my habits and approach.

Is it time to chase in a new territory?

Anyway, my trip to the South of France is approaching 🙂




July 1- Time Loop and Change: “Groundhog day”

Dear July, welcome!

I would like to make a deal with you: there are some important things I need to finish while you are here. Would you mind giving me a hand?

How? The weather for example. Not too hot to make us sleepy but agreeable enough to keep us in a good mood. And to stay outside, by the river bars.

Now, I have been wondering, after three months of blogging, if there is a change in my attitude, in the way I see the world.

There was a film, “Groundhog day”, released in 1993, with Bill Murray and Andy MacDowell. Murray incarnates Phil Connors, an arrogant TV weatherman who is sent by his channel to cover the annual Groundhog Day event in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He considers the event beneath him and is odious with everybody. Bad weather obliges his team to spent the night there. When he wakes up the next morning, he finds himself in a time loop, and he keeps repeating the same day again and again. After some time, he knows exactly what is going to happen in every moment of the day, who he will meet and what they will say to him. He indulges in hedonism and then makes numerous suicide attempts but it is useless, he is still alive in this same day. He finally begins to re-examine his life and priorities. And this is the moment when he becomes “liberated” from this “spell”.

Now, the first time I watched this film, I was quiet young, and thought it was a nice comedy. The second time, I was older, and was going through some challenging times. I thought it was a psychological drama and found it disturbing. It was as if I were stuck in a time loop myself. Now I think of it as a philosophical tale.

My question is, have I changed my attitude, my world view and priorities during this period? My feelings about myself and others?


Groundhog Day (movie poster).jpg

June 30- Transformation Journal Update

Hello dear June and farewell,

I have promised to write for three months, April to June. Here is my starting point, at the beginning of April:

After having been insulted by a wannabe boss, I decided to change myself in order to get a real job and true love.

 April to June.

 In Paris where I actually live the last years”

A post a day. I succeeded to fulfill the promise to myself, even if, sometimes, I was one or two days late in finishing my posts.

Blogging, has been in itself a fulfilling experience. I shared feelings and instants of my everyday life. I took some distance from them and from myself.

Is there a result after three months soul-searching?

Yes. There is a tangible result, a miracle, I wrote about on June 27: I passed the first step of a selection for the funding of my project. This is great for me and unexpected!

Now, how about love April? You could ask me. Well, I have fallen in love! No, I don’t have a concrete “result” this time, but this feeling is already precious! I might have been fantasizing a little bit, but just a little and it was fun. It kept me in a good mood, so no matter what B does, he has been a source of inspiration for some time!

I have also realized that I love my life in Paris. I have had a lot of fun these three months and I am grateful for it 🙂

Before sharing these thoughts I might have had a tendency to focus on the difficulties to reach my goals. By writing something that is open to others, I focused on the things that could inspire me everyday. And enjoy more the journey.

Should I end this blog after this three month period?

At the beginning, I meant to share my thoughts only with two good friends.

But after a while, this blog became a platform that allowed me to meet new friends, wonderful people, and I have interacted with some of them.

Thank you so much for following, reading and helping me to transform!


P.S. I am not writing in this kind of diary, but it is very tempting!