it has been three years since I decided to start a blogging adventure, as a form of a diary, addressing myself to the different months. I was living in Paris at the time, and I had to face a into my face wannabee boss and my unfullfieled artistic and love drives. I meant to write every day.
Ever since, a lot of things have changed.
I am in London.
I have published my first novel (to be translated in English soon).
My heart is still attached to Paris, but I am happy to have started new adventures here.
I would like to thank so much all of the friends who have accompanied me and offered feedback all these years.
Your advice has been valuable!
More precisely I would like to thank some of my oldest friends, but also those I havent’t mentioned with their wise comments:
I am in Paris again! It almost took me two months to visit again the dear city where I have spent most of my adult life… and I have a lot of emotions to walk on my street and feel as if I had never moved!
But things have also changed and a lot of things happened in the six months of my absence, not all of them good. But still, and despite a weather which is windy and cloudy, it is May in Paris!
I already met with two of my best friends and now, since it is a holiday in France, I linger in one of my Paris headquarter cafés; with my computer.
Lots of great ideas came to me as I was letting my mind wander, but my working space was kind of reactive to my ideas and I had felt stuck.
I am happy to be here for a week? Yes for sure. Am I happy to have left for London? Yes definitely. We will see what the future holds.
Because it is nice to creat habits, and even nicer to change them!
a small change I can try today is how to learn from feedback without letting it throw me off-balance. Yesterday I invited an artist to participate in an event I will organize back to France. He told me the gallery is not good enough for him and he wouldn’t know of anyone who would be interested. From his acquaintances.
That kind of shook me because it triggered older insecurities. I believed in this project and I mean to go back to Paris to talk with the gallery people. This idea of hierarchy somehow made me sad.
Is he right? Should I try to connect to the places/people with the best possible reputation instead of going the other-way round? Meaning, instead of collaborating with those I like and whose work I appreciate without checking on their reputation?
My former way of doing things has not been very productive from a material point of view. But starting from the utility of people and things is not in my philosophy.
Coming to London, is an opportunity because I have connected to a lively artistic platform with a good “reputation”: How can I evolve from here in a way that I am in harmony with my values in life?
here we are, in the middle of the month, with the spring waiting around the corner. And what is better than love to keep us warm, us, those who live on the north hemisphere?
Oh, love, I had a business meeting with a Japanese artist and his Iranian girlfriend, but this doesn’t exactly count as a date.
And I also spent part of the day trying desperately to get myself connected to the internet. This is long, so I spare you the details, it is not the right moment. But most of all I went out for a drink with the Spanish scenarist who tries to get enough money to go to Hollywood. He told me London is the right place to work on something he doesn’t really like such as selling cosmetics to women. When he will have the amount he thinks necessary, in a couple of years, he will go to Hollywood to try his chance.
In the meanwhile, he is looking for an almost relationship with an available female. The female should not want children with him neither family. He told me life has changed and the model of the couple with children is no longer valid in our societies. People wouldn’t stay in a relationship for more than 4 years.
He could be right about divorces raising. And that the way people live together might have changed. But somehow, deep down, it feels like there is always a way to show love and affection. And to grow with our relationship.
so yes, I am expecting any time a miracle, a force that will transport me to another dimension, another reality. Something that will put me in orbit and will accelerate movement in the direction of happiness.
I was reading a text of someone who was explaining how she stopped a habit, smoking. She had to visualize a new self who would be cool without the cigarette and the cup of coffee which goes with it. Because the old habit brought a considerable part of pleasure. So the new one should somehow bring even more pleasure. Despite some disturbance at the beginning.
Ok. How can I translate this into a positive change?
Should I visualise myself after my quantum leap? What does it look like?
How does it feel like?
Well if feels like being at the right place, at the right time, for the right reasons.
Feeling fulfilled, and interacting with other people I love to do something we love. Something beautiful and meaningful. Enhancing life in this planet. Having fun together.
today I had a meeting with a mentor- he has been organizing successful events for several years, but has evolved a little bit in the margins of the art world that is very closed and codified. How do I know he is a mentor to be? He seemed sincere and not just telling me what I would like to hear.
Now, his main point was that I need to make a difference. Once we have been around a place for a while, we become taken for granted. People stereotype us in a certain way.
It is like a former hair-dresser. I wanted to have longer hair, and she was cutting them short. When I complained she said: ” I just can’t imagine you with longer hair”.
Now, I have long hair, and needless to say, I have lost contact with this lady and her salon for the last years.
Staying with the wannabe boss would have been criminal and I would have been responsible.
But how can we change in the eyes of those who are used to take us for part of the scenery? Let’s say for example, that I am known in the art world as a serious but kind of “amateur” organizer, with interesting ideas but not very high-flying.
How can I change this? How can I attract attention in a positive way?
I need something spectacular, but at the same time something other people can relate to. And something with perspective 🙂