May 29- Butterfly emerging: on being magnetic

Dear May,

it must be spring, a lot of couples are kissing in the street, in the parks, love is in the air.

It is wonderful! You just want to join this incentive especially in a day like this, a holiday!

After getting up late I accompanied a friend to FNAC, a chain store for everything related to culture: books, music, films…

She was looking for something in the personal development section and while I was waiting I investigated the section dedicated to relationships. There were a lot of books on couples, with “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”, still on the top of the shelves. I looked at it but was not convinced to buy it. There was another one on what men want, referring again to couples. Maybe they are stereotyping people, or not. I would have given them a chance if they had something to say on the question I ask right now:

I am interested in B, and I want to spend some time with him, to get to know him better. And I would need some encouragment from him.

The last book was on what makes a woman irresistible. Again, the first part was dedicated to a “before” meeting someone you like, situation. There was even a design with body postures that showed a person is “mal aimé”, or doesn’t love oneself enough.

It was also giving counter-examples, or behaviors to be avoided. I didn’t recognize myself in any of them. Then, the positive example can be resumed in one phrase:

BE MAGNETIC!

And that consisted of having a purpose in life. Ok, I got that one.

Then the second advice was:

BE FEMINE!

This is very cultural, but for the author of the book it meant: wear high heels, dresses, make up, and accessorize your look.

I didn’t buy any of the books, but as I went out tonight for a walk, I noticed how many women were wearing high heels and dresses. And I admit that I was wearing my sneakers and jeans, carrying around a notebook to write down my ideas. And my hair was attached. I think that I was looking fine, but a simple mortal wouldn’t recognize me as a goddess, right away.

Could these books have a point? But then there is nothing on how to open your heart to each other. When you get back home with this guy and you get off your high heels?

The caterpillar and butterfly metaphor came back to my mind. I think that a lot of “internal” work has been accomplished during my chrysalis period. I feel close to emerging as a butterfly. I need to open my wings and get myself into the “right outfit”. Not as a disguise, to hide who we are.

But as a way to communicate our inner being.

<a href=”http://www.glorious-butterfly.com/”>Monarch Butterfly</a>

May 28- from caterpillar to butterfly: a metamorphosis

Dear May,

I am in a fairy tale mood today. The day has been full of surprises and inspired me to look for resources in this magic world I have never abandoned. How does Cinderella get her confidence in the palace ball? Was it the intervention of the fairy god-mother? The beautiful dress? The miracles she had just witnessed?

Or was she already at the threshold, she had already transformed her internal world?

What I mean is, let’s imagine for a second that the fairy god-mother entered the wrong house, dressed and offered to any other girl to take her to the ball as if she were a princess. Would that be enough for her to act as one?

Any girl is potentially a princess, but I think we need to feel worthy of it. Having other people tell you so is just not enough.

Let’s take the example of the butterfly. There are four stages: the eggs, the larva, the caterpillar which becomes a chrysalis; This chrysalis doesn’t give any particular sign of life. But what really happens is that she is preparing in secret for a metamorphosis: and when the time comes, she emerges as a stunning butterfly.

This is why this metamorphosis is like a miracle.

But in reality, it is a sequel of little, invisible steps that makes the big difference!