April 22, 2016: Post day 9- Love misunderstanding

Hello April,

I am going through the phase, let’s try a small change every day, so I thought I could open up to this man who seemed to pursue me for the last two months.

You want to know what happened?

He told me it was a misunderstanding and he sees me as a friend.

I admit this is the first time it happens to me. Because I am shy and if I am not sure, I don’t start a conversation. And then, there are cases where there is no doubt about the kind of interest the other person has.

But in this case, there was someone with whom I spent all my weekends doing all sorts of things. He was asking me with insistence about my personal life and he was telling me I should finally decide. Not to mention that he was putting himself out there as someone available.

I don’t know a lot of people in London, so I enjoyed having someone to talk to. I was not attracted to him as a man. I usually have strong feelings for someone from the start. But it has happened to me to fall in love “blindly” and then discover my prince was a frog.

So I tried to persuade myself that I should give it a chance.

When he told me I got it all wrong, I felt two things.

a. relief, that I didn’t have to push myself

b. my ego was hurt. Is it possible that he has not been influenced by my fatal attraction?

c. where is this thing called love?

Now, relief is very important. It is like not having to eat something you dislike because it is supposed to be good for your health. And then you read an article where a new study reveals it is the opposite. So you can forget about it.

Then, I realize I would like someone to love;

Maybe if I don’t spent all my free time with my friend I could get to know new people.

So, I guess feelings are important and I could also listen to them 🙂

 

How Long Did It Take You to Fall in Love?

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Septermber 20, 2015- Old Love and New Love

Hello September,

I was expecting to meet up with a former collaborator Saturday night. Instead, another person texted me at 23.00 at night. Yes, yes, my café-crush! The guy  I flirted with once a week for a year or so. But things didn’t evolve much. He wanted to wish me all the best. He advised me to continue on my path and eventually reward will come.

This is all very sweet, I would have liked to add. I like that you appreciate me. But why don’t you invite me for a drink and hug me while you give this precious advice? How can you resist me? Is it his Old Love who had broken his heart three years ago still present in his mind and heart?

I asked him if he still thinks of this lady who made him suffer. He said it is all behind him, and is ready to turn the page. But he still gives everything to work.

Well, it was nice to text me, knowing I am going to London for a while. And we will not be able to play the café flirt-game any more. Where we look at each other as pre-adolescents and exchange smiles and witty phrases as part of the ritual. But I am still a bit confused regarding his way of acting. Why stay on the phone for an hour a Saturday night? Why did I?

May be I am ready to turn the page and start with a New Love 🙂

 

http://weheartit.com/entry/group/2877270

May 24th, 2015- On love crushes

Dear May,

how do we break through repetitive patterns in our life ? For example, having a crush for guys who are not available, or not into us or … or… or..? Girl-talk with two of my friends -who are almost single- brought up this question.

What is “almost single” or “almost” in a couple? Seing someone you are not exactly into, or not considering it a relationship but still having a lot of elements that would define a relationship. For example, you date this person often, and repeatedly in time. You have met each other’s friends.

On the other hand, you don’t consider yourself being in a relationship because you are not sure this is what you want; or the other person has made it clear this is not his definition of a relationship; or something in between. Or you don’t feel in love and you are just waiting for someone else to make your heart beat. Someone less normal maybe.

Now, the three of us agreed there is something dysfunctional about it. Friend no 1 is almost in a relationship with someone she almost likes but she is not sure this is the one. Friend no 2 is willing to fall in love but goes through an indifference period. No one she likes to be found. I go through an almost relationship and imaginary crush period.

Yesterday I met again my imaginary crush and asked myself why I blushed when the object of my attention came for the traditional greeting “bise”, or two kisses on the cheeks. Haven’t I had enough of this almost friendship? Isn’t it boring not to meet someone for real?

Dear May, please fix all this sentimental issues, summer is coming and lovely hearts need to find their right place!