February 16, 2016: day 19 of 60 challenge day- being powerful

Hello February,

what image would come to your mind if I say “powerful”? I think of a Lion, but to be honest, I have no idea about how a lion feels from the inside. So how do we know?

Is it how we feel, or what we can do, or make others do? Is famous for example being powerful? Another artist of my new professional Platform in London has been interviewed for the tv. Would I also want that? Mmm may be a little bit. Would fame, or a kind of fame be part of being powerful?

The lion seems to be in a contemplative mood, after having a good lunch, may be some quality family time. Enjoying an almost nap.

Would being the director of something, of an artistic Platform make a lot of difference? The world of art is also a network of power relations.

I guess for me being powerful would mean having a sense of fulfillment, a sense of direction and wellbeing. Coming to London, was important for me. But I need to straighten out in my head what kind of power I am seeking.

What do you think?

 

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November 10, 2015- Being an alter-native and enjoying it

Dear November

today I went through some major self-questioning on my work: what if people who read my text find my writing alter-native, strange and the worst a bad interpretation of genuinely good writing? I had the feeling that I might be using the same words but I the combination comes up as something different. Am I part of a community or an Alien lost in translation?

What is worst, my freshly acquired mentor in London was not to be found after I send him some of my art work and I started imagining the worst possible scenario. He didn’t want to tell me how he disliked it so he was avoiding me instead.

After some hours of paranoia I decided to call him and we might meet tomorrow.

But in any case, whether he likes what he sees or not, I might need to assume some part of my alter-native-ness, explain and communicate better what seems to be important.

And continue looking for people who would like to come and inhabit my Alter-Land 🙂

alternative teacher certification

http://www.teaching-certification.com/alternative-teaching-certification.html

October 5, 2015- How to dissolve haters

Hello October,

I am in the middle of a relocation from Paris to London, and this is going to be the last week of my everyday Parisian lifestyle. This Saturday it was “nuit blanche“, with artistic installations and exhibitions both indoors and outdoors. Our environment and its future was the big underlying question. What a fantastic idea!

Néle Azevedo for example encouraged participants to create a frozen character they could place on the stairs and wait until the sun dissolves this figure in the morning. I like this idea as a metaphor : it is the best method to dissolve haters!

I fell into one or two every now and then. The last two, people who judged my work for a competition I tried to win in March. I only got a chance to read their report today. It just couldn’t be worse! To resume their saying, there was nothing original in my proposal, the quality was bad, my work shouldn’t be considered and I was a fraud in every possible way. Had I only them to count on, I would have thought I was good for nothing in my field.

Nuit Blanche 2015 : le parcours Nord-Est

Well, the thing is this type of haters influence some other people who decide on my artistic funding in France. What should I do? Impossible to fight back. They position themselves as experts.

Maybe that particular position, as an artistic consultant was not for me. Or maybe it is. But another time at another temporality.

Thank you dear haters, for teaching me to love myself better, so I don’t need to prove anything to you. I only need to be creative and look for the right environment to blossom 🙂

So how do you dissolve this influence dear October?

With light of course.

I can hear you say “April just shine and let them DISSOLVE!”

Focusing on something else could also help.

Such as?

LONDON!

http://www.sortiraparis.com/arts-culture/balades/articles/94870-nuit-blanche-2015-le-parcours-nord-est

March 23- A final step of this month’s challenge: advertizing myself :-)

Dear March,

I thought I could play around and be lazy for a while after the intensive first two weeks, but I just found out the decision on my art project is taken this weekend! That means there is some serious last-minute advertizing of myself that needs to be done.

I am divided between stressing up, and showing a motivated, yet, cool attitude.

The thing is, I am kind of a perfectionist, so the public relations department has not conducted my campaign with enough fervour until now (meaning me, myself and I).

A friend told me I look too cool, so people might think there is another chance for her, she is not “hungry” enough.

How do I find the right balance between being eager, not feeling afraid to say “vote for my project”! and still have this interior peace I am looking for?

Probably when I don’t think about myself and what people think of me, and concentrate more on my project and vision?

 

https://dreamdailyonlyblog.wordpress.com/

February 21- Speaking up your mind

Dear Feb,

I hope you don’t mind this form of intimacy, February. You have been around for a while, so it feels like this is the moment to have a conversation with you: on speaking up my mind. No, I don’t mean I have been lying to you until now. Don’t be susceptible!

What I mean is, you have been watching me interacting with people, so you will understand.

Let’s say we go out for a drink, coffee, or herbal tea. We engage into a conversation, and then you say something I don’t like. It might be on purpose or not. I find it hurtful, in any case. So, how do I react? Do I answer back? Tell you, wait a second here, … ?

It could be a casual friendly relationship, a flirt, it could be an intimate relationship, and this is more tricky.

What I do, personally, is that I might think:  “I don’t like what you say, but I’d rather not tell you directly, I don’t want an argument”. 

But still, I will not feel ok, and this will affect our relationship, because I might withdraw.

So is it better to speak up my mind?

If one person for example starts criticizing something I like, let’s say, blogging, or being a Parisian café fun, …

Finally, YES, I think it is better. It is good to say: “you are trespassing here, darling. I don’t like what you do to my personal garden, that I nurture with care and love”.

If I don’t, I might be an indifferent gardener. And this is not a basis for any kind of healthy relationship.

So, dear, you don’t have to like my habits, approve of my behavior or life-style.

But if you want to be friends, respect our difference and love what you don’t understand.

http://www.sacredcirclecreativelife.com/uncategorized/speak-up/

 

 

January 21- April comes back to town (Paris)

Dear January,

I would like to reassure you that you mean a lot to me, as the first month of the year. I might not been very present – at the blog-sphere- I know. I might have not finished my resolutions, and my update to see what progress has been made in my transformation process. What new things I have learnt. How my love life and romance has evolved.

During the holidays, I have been back to my little South of France village, where I dedicated myself to the following activities: coconing and spending time with family and neighbors. I have eaten chocolates and “galettes des rois” and have turned into a vegetable in front of holidays tv shows, don’t think of anything exotic. I have laid on the family sofa and for a change, have taken a membership card from the closest local café. I have played Playmobil with my godson Alexandre and his brother. Read fairy tales that seemed to interest me more than them.

Yes, this has been part of my adventures. After the acceleration of the rhythm just before the holidays, and the wannabe boss who put as much pressure as possible, I felt I needed to slow down a bit. Maybe a bit too much. You might consider it a form of hibernation.

That is why I start waking up, with my return to the capital. There have been some events, during my absence, very unfortunate. Hopefully, now that I am back, things will get better and everyone will adhere to the resolution of kindness, wisdom and gratitude. In any case, I feel I have a more active part to play.

I have a baby orchid plant and during the last year it has grown so much, it is falling out of the pot. I bought a bigger one, and now it has what it takes to grow better.

The same goes with me. 2015 is a year to find the conditions and ingredients for growth and well-being. It’s a promise.

April has come back to town 😉

http://www.grand-paris.jll.fr/fr/le-projet-du-grand-paris/presentation-generale/id/48

 

 

Three principles for 2015: kindness, Wisdom, Gratitude

Happy 2015 dear friends!

I have started 2015 in my hometown, and as I came back to Paris I was absorbed by some violent, but also some very solidary actions of the citizens in this beautiful city!

In order to start this blog-year well, I found out a petition on line, that corresponds to my beliefs: let’s promise to show Kindness, Respect, Wisdom and Gratitude the whole year! I have signed up, and in case any one would like to join, you will find the link at the end of the post. But I guess practicing is more important than signing 🙂

Three Principles for 2015

Show Kindness and Respect

We will show kindness and respect towards ourselves and others whenever possible. And it’s always possible, because everyone we meet is fighting a battle we may know nothing about.

Strive for Wisdom

We will seek to be wise in our decisions, listening deeply to ourselves and others, and balancing our heads, hearts and intuitions in a harmony that feels right.

Practice Gratitude

We will regularly reflect on what we’re grateful for, because it brings perspective, dissolves negativity, and grounds us in what’s most important.

Our community has overwhelmingly voted for these 3 simple, powerful principles to support each other to follow in 2015. Join thousands of others in this New Year’s pledge to ourselves, and then share stories and insights from our “journeys within” on a live chat tool. When 500,000 of us pledge, we’ll invite world leaders to personally join us, and we’ll all check in 3 times this coming year to see how we’re doing.

https://secure.avaaz.org/en/three_principles_loc/?fpla

risetohope

November 27- Did the wannabe boss win?

Dear November,

today I had a meeting with the wannabe boss, the no 2 of the Platform and his lieutenant. A meeting I was not exactly looking forward to.

Just to remind you, the Platform is a constellation related to art; a place where I am associated to, as a free-lance. They give me a space to operate, and cover some expenses when I suggest the realization of an exhibition for example.

I thought that being there was giving me some connexions and credibility; but it doesn’t guarantee any income for me. And the man who became the Platform no 2, saw himself as a “boss” who can rule in an authoritarian and disrespectful, in my opinion, way.

I had challenged him in the past, by answering back to his insults: he was telling me last year that the Platform is too important and I am not able to organize sufficiently important international events (I report this in the nicest possible way, it was more nasty). He had forgotten to mention that last year was the first time I had some means concretely for “spectacular” events.

After this meeting, that triggered the creation of my blog, I concentrated on my work. I accomplished all the objectives he had set, saying that they were too big for me. But of course, he wasn’t happy. During the whole year, he did his best to make my life difficult and sabotage my projects. But they succeeded.

I tried to go to the Big Boss and for some moral support, in order to get out of his sphere of influence. But the Big Boss refered me to his no 2, the wannabe boss. It was feeding Christians to the lions.

And the lion, with his assistant, wereready to devour me today. The wannabe boss didn’t want to look at my work, he just let me know that I would have to leave the Platform by February 2015. They restructure and change their objectives, that was his reason.

I told him I understand there is an institutional logic and thanked him for the interesting experience I had at the Platform. He wasn’t happy I took it so “well”. And started to count all the benefits that I would miss. How did I dare not to be hurt? Or hurt enough? May be I didn’t realize it was such a big deal!

How do I feel now? Relief

It was no longer productive for me to stay close to a man who undermines everything I do and tries to put me down in every possible way. I performed “miracles” the last year, I even found private funding for my activities. But no matter what, nothing is good enough for him, if I keep my independent, carefree smile in my face.

And it is my most precious treasure.

For some time, the Platform has allowed connections to the art world; but now, under the rule of the wannabe boss, it is not any more a place I desire to be.

I have dreams, and they need love and loving people, in order to come to life.

Goodbuy wannabe boss, you have been my muse for some time.

The moment has come to become my own Boss.

 

November 18- Being the best and taking it easy :-)

Dear November,

I am expecting friends to visit and felt overwhelmed between cleaning up the house, keeping on track with my goals and taking some time for myself.

A lot of things have been accomplished, but the side of me that is critical, is not completely satisfied: is this good enough? There is an ideal of “perfection” that is hiding somewhere, ready to say a word.

I could compare this to the feeling I had as a child when I first stepped into a huge library. Is it ever possible to read all these books? And then, shouldn’t I, if I am a good pupil or student?

One of my teachers laughed at me and told me that with the time I will realize a lot of things are not worth reading, so that limits the number to quiet few in the end.

Maybe this is a bit arrogant, but at the same time it is a way to limit options and make a choice: what is important to me today?

Or, how do I follow an objective and at the same time stay cool?

It’s like being a tender mother to ourself, encouraging and loving no matter what, and at the same time giving ourself incentives to grow and get off  the beaten track 😉

Love Yourself Step 21.jpg

http://www.wikihow.com/Love-Yourself

 

October 22- Life with some flavor

Dear October,

Einstein seemed to have given some important incentives about the way to live our lives, and not have been ‘just” a scientific genius. Well, I have fallen into this one

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value”.

–Albert Einstein

Now, would success mean something that is valued by society, the media, the people and groups who are powerful? And I would take value as something that is meaningful to us?

What if it is meaningful to me to spent all my time at the Parisian cafés and observing people? (I might get bored in doing but this, but let’s say, what if…). How would I make sure I live from this? Because you have to order something to eat after a certain time, it’s a costly pass time. The solution would be to make something out of it, probably, something that would interest other people.

Because I feel that despite our differences, we have a lot in common. So maybe, finding something meaningful for us, and trying to communicate it, is adding value for everybody else also. And it becomes a success.

Whereas, if we start with what everybody considers a success, it is like boiling a chicken for the fourth time, expecting to find some flavor in the soup 🙂