July 12-Enjoying my neigborhood

Dear July,

the rhythm of my last days was intensive enough to make me wake up at 11.00 today. I was supposed to get to the art exhibition, but found out the debriefing was not going to take place, so I could skip it.

The day started with coffee with my neighbour next door, one of my dearest friends. We had to catch up for the last few days: a lot of things have happened for both of us.

Just after, I went for lunch at my usual Saturday cafĂ©. There is something about this place that reminds me of a family’s living room. Probably because it is owned by a real family. Perfect for relaxing 🙂

I thought I should wear something colourful and flowery to give me energy, but was sleepy and all I did was to follow from time to time the conversation of a mother and daughter who were having lunch beside me. They were to participate to a baby’s baptism. There would be a dinner party after. Should the adolescent girl be seated with the children or the adults?

The next step was a meeting with another friend at another café of the same street. We sat outside, observing the passers-by. The new generation of toddlers was present, parading with their parents and their tiny scooters.

And just because it is good to get up and exercise from time to time, we went to yet a third café of the neighborhood and a found a new spot to continue the conversation.

Just by sitting there and talking, we participate to the life of the street, we remake the world, in our conversation and imagination!

http://www.123rf.com/photo_948075_silhouette-girls-and-boys-with-bicycle-illustration.html

toddler girl on a scooter in a park in spring day photo

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July 6- On relationships and washing machines

Dear July,

I can almost see your doubtful smile, what is the link between friendship and washing mashines?There is a direct one, at least in my case. My new apartment doesn’t have a washing machine installation. And I have a washing machine. Now, there are different options: I can use it as a cupboard, to stock things inside it.

Or, see it as an artistic object and use it for the decoration of the living room, with some creative intervention.

But there is a third solution, where the washing machine will continue its former function. And for this reason, it needed the intervention of a friend who knows his way in plumbing. He found something that connects the washing machine to the shower. And in this ingenious way, I will be able to wash clothes. Isn’t it great?

It has been since the end of February that I have moved here, and he came three times before we were successful. And he is usually available on Sunday’s, but not always. Neither am I.

Today for example, I happened to be free because the friend with her little boy who were to join me for launch, couldn’t come because of the bad weather.

So I went for lunch with S, K and D. C joined us later. We had a good laugh about everything and nothing, birthdays, age, life plans, … Both the guys who were present were taken, but their partners were on holidays with their families. For the three women, between 30 and 40, things were more complicated.

What do you think is going on? Asked my friend S, as he was helping out with the washing machine. He is 28 and he told his girlfriend he was looking for someone to marry. Things were clear for him.

That helps a lot. When I was 28, I thought first and foremost of art. I wanted to be able to express myself. And marriage seemed far away.

Now, I still think of art. But also of life. I like having a family. I like children, brothers and sisters, friends. But first and foremost, with someone who would enjoy being with me, not just anybody who would like to watch the same film for example.

S is right at the same time. Knowing where you want to go is important. That is how we got the better of the washing machine.

washing-machine-cartoonhttp://lerablog.org/home-and-family/appliances/how-to-ensure-your-washing-machine-smells-as-fresh-as-the-day-it-was-bought/

 

June 3 : personal growth and parenting

Dear June,

you have been of an unstable mood and this is kind of irresponsible; sorry to take it on you, but we have been waiting to wear summer clothes, hats, sun glasses, and instead we are taking out our umbrellas, on a daily basis. Well, I am sorry to be moody, but I have cought a slight cold.

And so has Alexandre my little god-son, in my hometown, as his mother informed me on the phone.

Or, Spiderman, because his Spider-mania continues.

Fortunately, I have a personal relationship with Spiderman, and I gave him an acount on his latest adventures.

Alexandre’s parents on their side, are facing the challenge of raising two babies and working full time.

How is it possible to continue doing things they need/and like? How not to feel that they sacrifice themselves? Is the smile of a child enough to compensate for not having time to go out, exerce, exist as a couple?

And then come other cases, of friends with broken couples. B, my favorite guy who tries to balance between his son and his job. S, father of a two year-old girl whose mother has a completely different idea than him on her upbringing. Or my friend E, mother of a little girl who cares a lot for her child and the father not at all.

How is it possible for the one who invests more time and effort to rebuilt a love-life with a new partner?

Actually, the only think I can tell my friends, because I am not having any experience on these questions, is the advice we are given in the airplanes in case there is a lack of oxygen. That parents need to wear their oxygen mask first, and then put it on their children. If they pass out, their children are also in danger. In that sense, taking care of oneself, could be a way to take care of the people we care for.

http://www.desk7.net/wallpapers.aspx?typeid=8243

Cute little angel children photography wallpaper 11 Wallpapers

May 30- divorced fathers

Hello May,

Yes, I only sent a funding application at 2.00 in the morning. I know I could have done it earlier, but I preferred to go out with two old friends for a drink. One of them is a divorced father, with a two year old daughter. We all met during our studies, and each has taken a different path in life. But we still love each other and get together from time to time to catch up.

We were surprised to hear that his relationship ended so soon and that they are not in good terms. As an observer, I find it hard to believe that it is possible to separate so soon after the decision to have a child.

But this is also the case of B who has a 4 year old also adorable kid. Is it the change in their lives? Is it the responsibilities that put the relationship under pressure?

I have no idea, at least our friend couldn’t explain the reasons that brought them to it, other than the change in his wife’s personality from the moment she became a mother.

Since I haven’t been close to the couple, I have absolutely no opinion, and no idea how this change can affect a couple. After all, I only have my friend’s version. And the most important thing, if it is final, is to find the best way to communicate for their child’s sake.

On the other hand, the discussion put me into thoughts concerning B, the object of my affection. Is a divorced father a species ready for a new relationship? Or is he someone who is looking for some form of distraction? Is it a particular species, or each one has his own characteristics?

I have to admit anyway, that for me, B’s charm is related to his role as a father, and the way he cares for his child.

This is enough to make him attractive.

 

http://ckl.ehe.osu.edu/new-parents-project/

 

May 8 – Dancing, Singing and Telling our story

Dear May

tonight was my first dance in my new apartment: I put some music and really let myself go with it! I wonder why I waited that much!

I was told once that in order to see if the people of their tribe are doing well, a wise person somewhere in the world was asking three questions: how often do you sing? Dance? Tell your story?

I have been blogging, and this is a way to tell your story, so, I am fine with that. When it comes to singing I more or less sing in the shower. But concerning dancing, that I love, I have been behind lately, so I am glad to get back to practice!

Apart from that, I spent big part of the day working on the event project, and having meetings with colleague-friends. The kind of people who give you a friendly-professional feedback. Very important.

There was also another question raised in one of these meetings: is it possible to please everybody with the way we behave? Our boss? Partner? Parents? The most important people in our lives? I think the answer is no, at least not all the time, for some of our choices. We shouldn’t even try, even if we really care for them, or need their good opinion.

Is there a way to make everybody love us?

Maybe we can give them a good example by loving ourselves for what we are… becoming!

And dance!

 

Tal and Flo Rida in the clip of their song: Dance

April 27- rainy Sunday

Hi  April,

Spiderman came indeed in Alexandre’s sleep. He told me himself on the phone. His mother described him wearing on his head his underwear for a mask, and his socks as gloves, chasing around Marius, who copied him.

He wanted to speak with his godmother, who understands the Spider-mania.

And other “manias” of course.

His call found me at the local restaurant where I was having lunch with family and friends.

Outside, it was raining heavily.

Just after, I found a quiet spot and started taking notes for my next book.

That was good. I felt advancing.

 

April 25- the return of Spiderman

Dear April,

I realize that you are leaving us soon, and I also decided to leave my hometown on the same day.

Since I had been seriously working and stressing the day before, I decided to take it easy on this Friday. I woke up late, spent too much time showering, fixing my hair, doing my exercise routine.

It was almost the afternoon, when my good friend and mother of my godson, Alexandre, rung me up to see if I could meet with them: Alexandre, Marius, and the happy parents could come nearby. It sounded like a great idea, and before I knew it, they arrived.

Alexandre was very excited to be outdoors -he is ready to follow any stranger if he is heading to the front door of their apartment-.

As a serious and conscientious godmother I took him to some toys, in the form of an air-balloon and a taxi, that become agitated as soon as you put some coins in the right place. But as soon as he perceived some balls with the form of Spiderman on the surface, he managed to get his hands on one of them.

He was so excited, impossible not to buy it! With this acquisition we all went to the café near a place where he could play. Alexandre was in ecstasy: he threw the ball on some of the tables where innocent bystanders were having a drink or coffee. Three adolescents were frightened when the ball almost landed on their head.

Come play with me! Alexandre demanded.

And there I was running up and down, trying to avoid proximity with café clients. It was fun. Spiderman was at his best: he was going up, down, changed hands, feet.

I had a chance to talk to my friend A when P, Alexandre’s father was in charge of the Spiderman ball and the two kids.

We talked about life, friendship, ex-boyfriends, choices, what I look for in a man, growing up, having a purpose.

It was 23.00 when they decided it was time to go. Marius, already asleep didn’t have an objection, but Alexandre was not ready to go home.

Spiderman will come and pay us a visit this evening, I told him. But we need to have our eyes closed, if we want him to really manifest. I was hoping that if he closed his eyes, he would go to sleep.

I am not sure I have given him the right advice.

I’d better keep my eyes open when Spiderman drops by for a visit.

 

April 24- Danny Brillant

April hi,

I will go to the essentials: today I finished the application for the job and mailed it. This has been my biggest accomplishment of the day.

The second is that I finished working on the documents I needed, while listening to Dany Brillant’s albums. The cafĂ© owner is a big fun and I followed his entire career from “Suzette”, to “On verra demain“.

I like Danny too; if I succeed I might have to thank him for the inspiration.

I couldn’t stay, for once, at my parent’s house. There was a plumbing problem and everybody was agitated. Between the plumber and Danny,  the plumber didn’t stand a chance.

I also realized that if I continue drinking “cafĂ© au lait” with croissants and pains aux chocolat, exercising only to change table at the cafĂ©, I will only put on unnecessary weight.

It is time to go back to Paris.

 

P.S. an example of the cafĂ©’s music selection (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOzZ1zBBw2A)

April 20- challenge

Hello April,

How do I keep positive thoughts for 10 days when I participate in my hometown and family lunches and dinners? There is a family and hometown dynamic with its own rhythm.

After an intensive eating, drinking and chocolate consuming, family conversations form a bubble. It is a challenge not to let oneself being absorbed by the group.

I went for a walk by myself; it was sunny and beautiful, visited my primary school, said hello to the spring roses, the butterflies and had coffee at my favorite café.

Called friends who live in the area and planned to meet up in the next few days.

Did some reading.

Emailed a guy I like back in Paris.

 

 

 

April19- Easter chocolate

Dear April,

yes, it is Easter in my family, and we spent much time cooking and discussing tomorrow’s lunch.

Apart from my parents, two aunts are going to be present.

You want to know if I advanced with my projects?

Yes, I got in tough with my US mentors. Both agreed that they will help my first application next week. I spent the afternoon on skype with mentor no 1, discussing possible ways to get me a funding or job based on my experience.

Both of them are interested in coming to Paris for a tour. The only thing I need is to convince the Big Boss of the platform.

I went out for coffee and smiled here to new faces that appeared -yes, it is also possible in my hometown- but I seemed devoted to my emails and didn’t know how to establish a contact.

I also start to feel impatient, I somehow need more action, and chocolate bunnies are probably those who will pay the price of this impatience.