yes, Christmas is approaching and lockdown brings me back to my parents’ home as an adult, and it would have almost been my worst nightmare when I was an adolescent, if it hadn’t been worse two years ago. Because two years ago, I had all that, plus, I didn’t have a job.
And still, when I look to pictures two years back, I was smiling and found a way to be happy. And a few years back it felt even worse to fail something. I just decided to continue the effort no matter what.
My point is, despite having had some “wins” in my life, like a good degree, good notes, initiating an artistic network in Paris which brought together important figures, I couldn’t support myself and my relationships sucked.
I have faced situations like finding only a horrid job and being fired from it, or seeing years pass and nothing tangible coming up.
Until I didn’t have any more psychological resources. And then, somehow I got them back. My faith also.
SO, even when my material resources were over, and my old world was crumbling under my feet, I had psychological resources and FAITH, not to a particular goal, not to show anyone anything, not to shut up any critic, but to continue looking for a path, learning from other people and not afraid to be wrong if that meant I would keep on learning.
This got me into a job I could support myself with, but where I suffered from bullying and bad work environment. I kept looking and I got a much better one. And finally, had the possibility to resign from something I didn’t want.
So, this lockdown, apart from other things, is a good time to readjust goals and decide what makes my heart sing today, instead of reaching goals for anyone else.
And this happens when SELF GROWTH becomes the goal, independent of age, instead of reaching any specific goal. How can I keep learning and developing my full potential as a human being? How to balance relationships with decisions on our own personal path?
To be continued…