November 12, 2019- Growing up through pain and delight

Hello November,

I had a beautiful birthday with cake, candles and friends. At the same time I felt that loving ones are not with me, because it is not possible, and I felt between guilt and sorrow.

At the same time, I realise that mourning a part of our previous life is normal, it is growing up. Something needs to go away in order to free space for the new.

I can’t be an adult and have profound relationships if my only point of reference is my parents. This is not good in someone 20s, even. So much more when you are more of a grown up.

Not having yet a family unit of my own, makes me more attached to my original family. But this is an illusion.

There was never a paradise in any age, and our relationships need balance between giving and receiving.

Do I allow people to come near me in order to create adult relationships?

And when I think about adult, I mean anything from friendships, professional, love and romance, even animals.

It would be great to adopt an animal.

Or a human being.

In any case, start to become an adult;

At least in some aspects of my existence.

I am afraid there are still a few clothes on the chair and floor 🙂

4 thoughts on “November 12, 2019- Growing up through pain and delight

  1. Happy belated Birthday, April! Birthdays make us think back automatically make us look at how far we have come and what we feel is missing in our lives. I hope that the thoughts of missing will stay with this birthday and never get repeated again.

  2. Bon anniversaire. A tad late, but I am not very good at dates… Don’t worry too much about your parents. Some, not all, enjoy making their kids’ life miserable. If that is the case, ignore them, and get back to them on some other occasion.
    (Yes, do put the clothes in the laundry basket or the cupboard please) 😉

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