I had a beautiful birthday with cake, candles and friends. At the same time I felt that loving ones are not with me, because it is not possible, and I felt between guilt and sorrow.
At the same time, I realise that mourning a part of our previous life is normal, it is growing up. Something needs to go away in order to free space for the new.
I can’t be an adult and have profound relationships if my only point of reference is my parents. This is not good in someone 20s, even. So much more when you are more of a grown up.
Not having yet a family unit of my own, makes me more attached to my original family. But this is an illusion.
There was never a paradise in any age, and our relationships need balance between giving and receiving.
Do I allow people to come near me in order to create adult relationships?
And when I think about adult, I mean anything from friendships, professional, love and romance, even animals.
It would be great to adopt an animal.
Or a human being.
In any case, start to become an adult;
At least in some aspects of my existence.
I am afraid there are still a few clothes on the chair and floor 🙂