November 12, 2019- Growing up through pain and delight

Hello November,

I had a beautiful birthday with cake, candles and friends. At the same time I felt that loving ones are not with me, because it is not possible, and I felt between guilt and sorrow.

At the same time, I realise that mourning a part of our previous life is normal, it is growing up. Something needs to go away in order to free space for the new.

I can’t be an adult and have profound relationships if my only point of reference is my parents. This is not good in someone 20s, even. So much more when you are more of a grown up.

Not having yet a family unit of my own, makes me more attached to my original family. But this is an illusion.

There was never a paradise in any age, and our relationships need balance between giving and receiving.

Do I allow people to come near me in order to create adult relationships?

And when I think about adult, I mean anything from friendships, professional, love and romance, even animals.

It would be great to adopt an animal.

Or a human being.

In any case, start to become an adult;

At least in some aspects of my existence.

I am afraid there are still a few clothes on the chair and floor 🙂