November 18, 2018- Bounce Back Big, year update I

Hello November,

so this is my honest last year’s update I as to work and work:

I took a risk, financial, professional, I worked long hours and it doesn’t look to have paid: I wonder, is there something I could have done differently to have a better result?

It felt as if I tried things and nothing worked out: especially in my area, I have started collaborations with high-profile people, but they supported my idea reluctantly and then when I wanted a sign of support they vanished.

I completed a difficult project but I didn’t get the funding.

I worked on the side in a job that was not fulfilling to be able to work on my project.

I suffered in this job.

I loved the project.

What could I have done differently?

Have I knocked at the wrong door?

It’s like making everything for a relationship to work and then it doesn’t and you have to pay for the divorce.

Overall, I felt like I have been working so hard in two directions.

The first, I did it to earn my living in London. I taught some adolescents who were painful, they didn’t appreciate it, and in an institution which gave me an unprepared course to teach. I accepted because I thought I didn’t have a choice and I failed.

The second, the one I liked, my art project with some established galleries. When we didn’t get funded, they removed their support.

The thing is, they didn’t see my project as enough to give them credit personally.

I relied on three or four different people, without giving more importance to the contribution of one of them.

In this case, I liked the idea, but I felt like I had to please people as if I were a slave in the feudal system. And they were never satisfied, believe me.

So, what now?

I need to treat myself with more respect.

I deserve some credit, and my sacrifice even if it didn’t pay materially, at least it should make me realize there must be another way.

Do I give up?

NEVER

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