Dear May,
have you have ever felt confused about something you did? You decide for example that you want more flowers, and instead of the good weather that we normally expect, you become windy and cold, one day, warm the next. I had also decided to go in one direction and then I just did something that points into another!
Let me explain: for quiet some time I have been working on an artistic project and would like to get it funded. I am at a crossroad right now professionally speaking, and not only. I am going to move out of my office at the Platform and out of the mean wannabe boss.
So I thought this is a good time to get in touch again with people who I have met the last years and I appreciate. They could become a source of inspiration. Among them, a young informatics guy who is helping artists with their installations. I decided to call him because he is very competent and he has always been on my side. I thought this would motivate me.
When we had met, I was working on something different which I have put aside. I could call it my plan B. So naturally, he mentioned it right away. He thought I called him for this purpose, and started giving me ideas and suggestions. He is so eager to help me, that he is ready to lend me a book that would be most helpful.
I am so grateful, but I also felt overwhelmed because I accepted to borrow this book. And I feel bad because I didn’t dare tell him I am not interested.
I should have said: N, look, I just wanted to talk, or see you because you are a vitamin. But I am not on plan B right now. I work on plan A.
Am I going to borrow his book this Friday or excuse myself and do something else?
I need to be clear with my purposes and feelings; say what I want and need!
http://dismayland.ca/2014/07/02/how-to-feel-happy-with-your-life-when-youre-not-feeling-happy/
april4june6: A journal of self-tranformation 
I hear you! We often don’t want to hurt the feelings of others and at the same time bother ourselves…
😉 it is not always easy for me to be honest with myself and others, and at the same time be open to new things…
That doesn’t necessarily be opposing.
No, just a delicate balance 🙂
That’s right! And however we find it for ourselves is our personal life path… 😉
I think you should tell him that you are on plan a not b. Maybe you could say to him that you are really grateful for his input, and tell him that is why you didn’t have the heart to tell him you are on plan a. and that you would like to tell him all about this current plan as you value his opinion.
Thank you for your feedback! I definitely need to be open about this if I want to develop a real friendship… and not just a “make believe” one 🙂