I hope you don’t mind this form of intimacy, February. You have been around for a while, so it feels like this is the moment to have a conversation with you: on speaking up my mind. No, I don’t mean I have been lying to you until now. Don’t be susceptible!
What I mean is, you have been watching me interacting with people, so you will understand.
Let’s say we go out for a drink, coffee, or herbal tea. We engage into a conversation, and then you say something I don’t like. It might be on purpose or not. I find it hurtful, in any case. So, how do I react? Do I answer back? Tell you, wait a second here, … ?
It could be a casual friendly relationship, a flirt, it could be an intimate relationship, and this is more tricky.
What I do, personally, is that I might think: “I don’t like what you say, but I’d rather not tell you directly, I don’t want an argument”.
But still, I will not feel ok, and this will affect our relationship, because I might withdraw.
So is it better to speak up my mind?
If one person for example starts criticizing something I like, let’s say, blogging, or being a Parisian café fun, …
Finally, YES, I think it is better. It is good to say: “you are trespassing here, darling. I don’t like what you do to my personal garden, that I nurture with care and love”.
If I don’t, I might be an indifferent gardener. And this is not a basis for any kind of healthy relationship.
So, dear, you don’t have to like my habits, approve of my behavior or life-style.
But if you want to be friends, respect our difference and love what you don’t understand.