October 18b- Dating codes

Dear October,

do you know anything about men-women relationships? It could be very cultural, but it seems to me the people I know -at least in Paris- nowadays, are lost in different dating codes.

In the conversation I had with a guy yesterday, he insisted that women are supposed to decide if they want someone, and do everything to pursue him: follow him, jump on a plane to meet him for two hours in another country, go knock at his door even if he is living with another person.

After having watched a number of romantic films, or maybe because I have a traditional side, I like the idea of the guy doing also something to pursue me. According to my friend, this is a problem. I am not decided enough to go all the way and get what I want.

I wouldn’t like the opposite picture, where the woman is a damsel in distress, and the role of a “real” man is to rescue her or to chase her for two hours, if it is an old film. Unless if we talk about our attitude, our decision: do I want to be with this person, or not?

But is real life like a film? Aren’t relationships inter-actions where actions get their meaning from the context, the moment, the flavor?


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