July 23- Between two choices: two jobs, two men?

Dear July,

how to decide between two options when we don’t have enough information on either? It could be two job opportunities, as the case of my friend K, or two relationship possibilities.

In the case of two romantic partners, if strong feelings are involved, a choice has already been made 🙂 But if we are at the beginning, and there is just an attraction. For both. They seem interesting in one way or another. Let’s say that one is an excellent cook. But I don’t know enough about his other qualities. And the second is someone we share common interests and values. But maybe his cooking sucks and he could also snores at night.

And you can’t date them both because they are in the same social environment and they would know about it. Then what?

It is already positive to have a choice. There are times when we would get any offer made, without giving it any thought. But it is not always the best thing to do.

So how do we decide when we don’t have enough information to judge what is best?

And how do we keep our options open, respecting our freedom of choice but also the other’s feelings?

My friend K is between a job in Paris, that seems stable for the next five years at least.

And a temporary job in London, which looks like an interesting experience.

In Paris, there seems to be more stability, and her status is better.

In London, there is instability and the contract she is offered doesn’t seem as good but appears exciting.

What would be the best way to act?

http://queendiaries.com/how-to-choose-between-two-guys/ is giving advice on the romantic partner dilemma

4 thoughts on “July 23- Between two choices: two jobs, two men?

  1. I think we go with our heart and sometimes we might end up regretting that but when we really analyse the consequences of our choice we will find hidden positives. I was dating two guy before I got married, when the time came for me to make a choice I was at a loss. In the end I went away for a couple of weeks to think about it and the one I missed the most was the one I ended up marrying. A while later I realised that the other one was far better marriage material and looking back now I really don’t know why I didn’t choose him still. BUT I had experiences in my marriage and my children and none of the things which came from my decision would have happened if I’d not made the choice I did. There have been some huge effects which have shaped me as a person, things which needed to happen. I guess in a fatalistic way I think we do what is necessary out of a compulsion and I wonder to what extent we actually get to choose at all.

    • I agree. Especially in matters of Love, it’s always the Heart that has a greater say than the Mind. I have been in a relationship with this guy for the last 2.5 years.. I had every reason to let go and find myself someone who actually valued me, but I didn’t.. because I was too deeply in love with him. I had every other option of going for someone who appreciated me for being me, but I held on to the one I had because I couldn’t bear to be without him for a minute.
      Touchwood, I’ve been lucky that he actually realised this and changed so much for the better.
      Luckily, I found my fairytale with this guy 🙂
      So sometimes I guess it’s good to follow your heart.. but more than not, it does lead you to a dead end !

  2. Nothing can be easier! Risk! A good manager is not a person who always makes right decisions but a person who can make fast decisions. It’s impossible to know unknown or to predict future.

  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I enjoyed this post and would say that there is often more information available than you think, but most of the time I am trying to justify with my head a decision,my heart has already made. Luckily as I have aged, I can trust my intuition more. And, of course, a few hours of usually writing lets me know what I really think.

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