June 3 : personal growth and parenting

Dear June,

you have been of an unstable mood and this is kind of irresponsible; sorry to take it on you, but we have been waiting to wear summer clothes, hats, sun glasses, and instead we are taking out our umbrellas, on a daily basis. Well, I am sorry to be moody, but I have cought a slight cold.

And so has Alexandre my little god-son, in my hometown, as his mother informed me on the phone.

Or, Spiderman, because his Spider-mania continues.

Fortunately, I have a personal relationship with Spiderman, and I gave him an acount on his latest adventures.

Alexandre’s parents on their side, are facing the challenge of raising two babies and working full time.

How is it possible to continue doing things they need/and like? How not to feel that they sacrifice themselves? Is the smile of a child enough to compensate for not having time to go out, exerce, exist as a couple?

And then come other cases, of friends with broken couples. B, my favorite guy who tries to balance between his son and his job. S, father of a two year-old girl whose mother has a completely different idea than him on her upbringing. Or my friend E, mother of a little girl who cares a lot for her child and the father not at all.

How is it possible for the one who invests more time and effort to rebuilt a love-life with a new partner?

Actually, the only think I can tell my friends, because I am not having any experience on these questions, is the advice we are given in the airplanes in case there is a lack of oxygen. That parents need to wear their oxygen mask first, and then put it on their children. If they pass out, their children are also in danger. In that sense, taking care of oneself, could be a way to take care of the people we care for.

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7 thoughts on “June 3 : personal growth and parenting

  1. be it a child a job a lover or a friend, when we make the choice to extend our time effort and love to others we must make sure we have the bandwidth. i recently posed a question to myself friends and family and the question was this.
    i assign to you 5 tasks
    each task takes 1 hour to complete
    but you only have 4 hours to do them
    what do you do?
    the answers i got varied wildly ranging from i squeeze it all in, to; i drop a task. i dont think there is a right wrong answer but my answer is this. i arrange them by priority and a do 4 of them in my mind it is better to do 4 things well than let all five suffer.
    the question and the answer to your question is a simple matter of priority and bandwidth.

    we choose what is most important to us and we do those things with the lions share of our time and effort. we have to surrender guilt to the choices we make and not feel bad about it. The key to success in my mind is to think long and hard before not after we make a choice on what those 4 things we take on are.

    Though it may sound selfish we must always look after ourselves our selves first in the areas of health and wellness both, physical and mental this is critical because we are of no use to anyone if we are sick.

    if we take on a matrimonial mate we are then both one, 50/50 so they share in that priority of 1st place status.

    children come in a a very close 2nd because we choose to bring them here, we give them life it was our choice not theirs and they must be taken care of until they are ready to take care of themselves.

    all else follows in whatever order you deem the priority should be. with respect that sometimes we must shuffle things around as the situation demands. sometimes we have to let things go. friends, hobbies, even some family members must be left out of our consideration because they may take away from the things that are most important to us. but to each of us comes our list of 4 and 4 hours what is 5th is of our choosing and while some my try to speak ill of our choices. it’s still our choice to make in the end.

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