May 31- monthly update for success

Dear sweet May,

this is your last day, and I realize I need to face your questions:

Have you achieved your goals?

Is there any progress in your love life and work this month?

Yes, I think there is, but I know the deadline I have set is approaching.

When it comes to work, I have just sent another job application and the organization of the summer event is going smoothly. Different artists I like have confirmed their presence.  I have also continued activities I had engaged myself to, doing what was humanly possible. Almost.

Could have I sent more job or funding applications? Submitted again my manuscripts? Yes. And I admit having felt discouraged here and there because of a negative answer in one of my requests on May 10. My mentor to be, declined participation in one of my projects. That slowed me down. I haven’t answered some emails and I procrastinated.

I am not very effective under pressure. I need a psychological break from worrying to look for things I love. I am not sure though if this is a good long-term strategy.

What I need is to learn how to keep my morale high, no matter what. After all, as a whole, things are going well. Especially in comparison to other people in my field. I need to be self-confident, have more faith.

Hmm, when it comes to my love life, I am slowly engaging in a process of self-disclosure. Accepting my vulnerability . How is it possible to get close to someone wearing a mask? Because, it is not a question of whether X is willing or not to go out with me. It is a question of what I intend to do when this will happen.

Am I ready to meet him, or do I prefer the safety of my hiding place?

And before I forget, dear May, writing a post a day, helped me realize I am having a good time, friends I like to spent time with, and romantic objects to fall in love with.

I am grateful for that.

La pivoine

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