I had promised you to go to bed early so that I get up early in the morning. But this last email was difficult to write. It took me at least an hour. No, it isn’t long. Just a paragraph.
But I needed to ask for help without being clingy. I was writing to the member of a committee that decides tomorrow for the funding of one of my projects. A person that I appreciate and would also like to invite to the event I organize this summer in the South of France. Both are very important for me.
I didn’t want to say something like: Hello, I am April. I would like to invite you to an artistic event that I organize this summer in the South of France. Oh, and by the way, I have another project that needs funding. The vote is casted tomorrow. Can you vote in favor?
I felt the only way out was to make a choice: either the invitation to the event, or the vote. I only invited him to participate to my summer event.
The same thing goes with love I think. Let’s say that I am in love with A and he seems to like me too. But we have just been acquainted. I cannot say for example: A, you are such a charming person, I am in love with you. And oh, by the way, could you do this and that favor for me?
This second part destroys the authenticity of the feeling.
If my love for A is more important than my desire to get x y or z, I would need to choose.
Putting too many demands at the beginning of a relationship doesn’t seem right. Even later.
There is not one human being I think, that should answer all our needs, simultaneously.
Not even our self.